taken a-back

There is this moment, just as I am waking up, but before I’ve moved or opened my eyes.  In that moment, nothing hurts, at least not above my baseline.  I try to hold on to that moment, because I know that soon, I’ll have to move, have to sit up and put my feet on the floor, and then the pain will come.

I sometimes joke that if I ever woke up not in pain, I’d assume I died through the night.  I’ve had chronic pain conditions most of my adult life, and I’ve developed new ones as I’ve gotten older.

Most days I can be functional with a few coping mechanisms, some gentle stretching and my meds for nerve pain.  I’m fortunate to not need anything in the opioid category for pain relief.

This morning, as I slowly became conscious and I hung there in that glorious moment when nothing hurt, I wondered what it would be like to be there all the time, to have my body back.  I’ll probably never know.  I just adjust to the new normal each time something new comes to claim my body for its home.

This week has been rough for pain levels.  My lower back, and in turn my legs, have been extra loud in the symphony and have required I do some babying and icing.  They seem to be somewhat better today, though my whole back is a hair above what I call “normal.”

That’s okay though.  Today is a writing day, and aside from getting some laundry done, I have no other plans.  Just me, some Death Wish Coffee and one of the two stories I’m currently working on.

What about you, Reader?  What’s on your plate today?

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About myweightinwords

An overweight, underpaid, opinionated anomaly with internet access- Pagan, Poet, Photographer, Author, Daughter of Morrigan, Lover of Ravens, Healer, Shaman, Friend