Category: Life and Other Fun

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…forever in a day…

I’ve been awake since 2am because of anxiety. I leave for the airport in about a half hour. I haven’t ridden this edge of anxiety since my Kane days. Literally shaking right now.

But! I am also so excited at the same time. I’ve already medicated, so that should help me not have a panic attack just walking into the convention.

For airplane reading, if I don’t fall asleep, I have my own book, Forever, because I’m doing a book thing next Thursday with a reading group at a former coworker’s new workplace and I haven’t been immersed into that world in a hot minute. Picked it up last night and skimmed through the first chapter.

I had forgotten how much I love that character and that world. So much of my life went into that book. I may sign it and leave it somewhere at the con for someone to find. I do that from time to time.

Anyway, if you want to follow my anxiety-filled first SPN con experience, follow me on Threads (@nataliejcase) as I will be spewing things as they happen and posting pics (and yes, the “big camera” and “big lens” are coming along for the ride.

Might drop content on Insta and FB as well, so take peeks there too if you like.

Y’all be good while I’m gone, or at least don’t burn the world down or start and apocalypse.

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an agoraphobe preps for con

A week from now I will be alone at a Supernatural convention. By alone, I mean, minus my support system.

I’ve avoided these cons for years due to the agoraphobia. The sheer number of people is terrifying. Not being in control of my surroundings is terrifying. Add in meeting Jeffrey Dean Morgan, who just makes me into a teenage girl, and my whole body is vibrating with anxiety.

I’ve done what I can to minimize the anxiety. I’ve got a front-row seat. I won the VIP package, which means front of the line for everything, a lounge where I can decompress, and more. I’ll have my camera which helps keep me focused.

I started planning my packing, but I need to find the Tshirts I bought to wear to this thing. I have Xanax and I have cannabis. I have stuff to have signed.

I’m going to be fine, but right now, a week out, I’m shaking with anxiety and having mini freak outs on the daily. So it’s very much a “focus on one thing until it’s finished” kind of week over here in Natalie-land.

Stay afraid, but do it anyway is my mantra right now.

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day job

I work for an ad tech company for my day job. I write technical content for the help center and manage language on our UI among other things.

As part of a product refresh we are doing, they are offering us the opportunity to run ads of our own, on anything at all, so I’ve started up an ad campaign for The Blood Witch Saga!

So you may start to see ads pop up around the internet if you are in the US and have expressed (through your web traffic) that you are into books and such.

Exciting times.

I’ve also started a new writing project that is a bit different for me. Still urban-ish fantasy, kinda dystopian, with dragons and gremlins and other fantastic creatures. I’m really having fun with it.

Anyway, once again I’m up way too early in the morning, poking about the internet. I’m about to go hit up Threads with my normal daily posts: today that includes a poetry post, along with my #Serious Question of the Day and my Something to know about me post. You should come hang out there! As social media goes, it’s currently my favorite place to interact.

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writing my way into 2024

Happy New Year, Readers! In the hope of starting the year out right, I aim to get some writing done this morning. I got stuck on the fourth Blood Witch book, so I’ve switched gears and gone back to The Daughters of Morru.

I’m at the point in the plot there that I need to finesse my way into a time jump. Our heroine needs to get to sixteen to get us to the next plot point.

The words are flowing, so I’m hoping it’s a good sign.

I hope you all have a peaceful and amazing year.

Photo by BoliviaInteligente on Unsplash

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goodbye 2023

It wasn’t the worst year on record, but it wasn’t the best either. It was a year of ups and downs, turn arounds and backflips.

It was the first full year without my father in this world, my first Christmas without him. There was a lot of added responsibility with taking care of my stepmother and getting her settled into a life without him.

My pupper filled a hole in me that I wasn’t even aware I had, and I love her so completely. She gets me out of the house daily, and I’ve met some cool folks because of her.

I almost lost my 16 year old kitty, but she’s feeling so much better now and was even playing a little this morning. Now if I can just get her to eat the right food and take her meds.

I spent a lot of time with family this year, including a week-long vacation in NOLA with my Mom and brother. I didn’t do a whole lot of writing, but I’m happy with the writing I did do. Wrote a poem a day in November.

I probably drank too much, and I definitely ate stuff I probably shouldn’t have. Re-watched favorite shows and started a few new ones. Lost my facebook account, ditched X/Twitter, fell in love with Threads. Played around a little with AI art using my own photography as a base. Asked AI to tell me about myself and laughed at the results (what it got right was okay, what it got wrong was a lot and hilarious).

Looking forward to the new year. Hoping for a promotion on the day job. Want to finish at least one of the WIPs. Want to travel more.

First up in that regard is a solo trip to Disneyland in January. I’ve never done it alone, so it should be interesting. I plan to spend a lot of time hanging out in Batuu. I may take a notebook and do some writing there.

Also attending my first Supernatural convention in July. It’s the first time I’ve had the money to do what I need to do to handle my agoraphobia (front row seats) at the same time as they went on sale.

And on that note, my coffee is almost gone, the cat needs meds, and I should get this last Saturday of the year on it’s feet.

Photo by Behnam Norouzi on Unsplash

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my Morrigan kitty

A few days ago, I went upstairs to grab a pair of socks and found my 16 year old cat lying in a puddle of diarrhea and nearly unresponsive. I raced her to an emergency vet, certain I was about to lose her.

The vet convinced me that we could save her, but it wouldn’t be cheap. She spent a night in the hospital after bloodwork came back to show she had a stage 2 kidney disease. It was a pretty rough night for me, as our favorite time together is cuddling in bed.

I had to set up the spare room for her before I could bring her home, adding to the cost of the whole thing as I needed new food and water dishes, someplace soft for her to sleep, new litterbox, etc. When I picked her up last night, the cost of the meds and food I had to bring home brought the total cost of this illness to $2900. Luckily I had enough room on credit cards to cover it, but it’s going to strain my finances for the next few months.

I set up a GoFundMe campaign, and I would be humbled and honored if you, dearest Readers, would donate a small amount and/or share the campaign on your socials.

May your winter holidays be especially warm and bright, Readers. Hug your people and your furbabies and always tell them that you love them.

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taking care of me

A few months ago, routine bloodwork came back showing that I am anemic. More bloodwork showed that I was severely anemic. What can I say, when I do something I like to go big. I’ve been on iron since and today I’m going in for a colonoscopy and endoscopy to determine if there is any internal cause.

I also need to go get labs done to see if taking the iron has helped, but I’ll do that tomorrow. My appointment with hematology is mid-January, so I need to get it done soon so that they will have the results.

Next up on my healthcare goals is getting my Nexplanon implant removed, setting up a mammogram, and getting back to the dentist.

It’s hard work, this getting older thing. 

In the meantime, I carry on with the day job and writing when I can. I really want a cup of coffee.

Alas, nothing by mouth until after the procedure.

What’s on your agenda this Wednesday before Christmas, readers?

Photo by Clay Banks on Unsplash

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time journeys on

It is hard to believe that we are at the midpoint of December. It’s been a year of status quo, travel, and challenge. For a good chunk of the year, I’ve felt stuck in a rut, but I’ve also traveled to a number of places I’ve never been before (and a few I have).

Mom and I took a road trip north of here, into gold country. We visited little towns and historical sites. We took lots of pictures. On the drive home, I learned that she wanted to visit New Orleans. New Orleans has been on my bucket list for a long time.

Next thing I know, we’re planning a week in NOLA, with my brother coming along for the ride. We did all the touristy things and even caught a Saints football game.

I also got back to Austin in August, and a few trips to Tucson to help my stepmother. Racking up the air miles! 

But here we are, December 16…Christmas is just 9 days away. The new year is just 7 days beyond that and we’ll be in 2024. There was a time in my life when that seemed impossible. It’s going to be a consequential year. Everything is on the line in the November election. It is easy to sink into despair over the state of things, but I choose optimism.

I choose to believe that Americans have seen the chaos of the last two years and will do the right thing to protect our democracy. Anything else is unthinkable.

These heavy thoughts brought to you by a lack of caffeine. I best get to pouring my first cup of Death Wish Coffee. Y’all have a great Saturday, Readers. 

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kindness matters

One of the best things in the whole world, for me anyway, is giving to those who have nothing, no way to repay a kindness. Sometimes this takes the form of buying breakfast for an unhoused person, sometimes it’s five bucks to get someone home on the train.

When I’m feeling down, I seek out someone who needs something I can provide. But it is important to me that I don’t just hand them a cup of coffee. That isn’t where the kindness lives. It lives in listening to their stories, in letting them talk if they want to. It’s in sitting on a curb sipping coffee with them.

Yesterday, my mother and I spent the day putting together care packages for the homeless. We got a hygiene kit together (toothbrush/paste, wet wipes, hand sanitizer, lip balm, etc), added a hat and gloves, a pair of socks, then we packed some food in. A mandarin orange, peanut butter sandwich, some crackers, cookies, trail mix, and some holiday cheer in the form of candy.

We ended up with twenty care packages that are currently in my car. On my way home, I stopped twice to hand out bags to two gentlemen I see fairly regularly. One of them wanted to give me something in return. He was sweet, and told me a long, rambling story of how he got the piece he was giving to me, and how special it is. Doesn’t matter that it’s just a bit of plastic that broke off of some decorative thing. It was about him feeling like he had something to give me in return.

Today, Mom and I are taking the packages to an encampment of homeless folks, along with some blankets. It is starting to be cold here, especially at night, and while we don’t get snow and all that, the cold can still be deadly.

Kindness matters. Spread some around.

Photo by Adam Nemeroff on Unsplash

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dragging myself out of bed

Yesterday was the absolute worst day of this cold. I hardly slept the night before due to coughing and sinus pain/pressure, and the cough was just killing me. I took the day off sick.

I drank Nyquil and snuggled into a blanket/pillow fort on the couch and watched a bunch of Leverage episodes. I coughed up junk and went through a box of kleenex. I only left the house to take the dog to the park and to take my mother to her sleep study.

After dropping Mom off, I crawled into my bed, put on a long ASMR video and drifted into a Nyquil fueled coma. I didn’t get a lot MORE sleep than the night before, but it was all in one solid chunk, and that seems to have made all the difference. I’m feeling much better this morning!

I did, however, have to drag myself out of bed before I wanted to so that I could go pick up my mother by 5:30 am. I am hoping that now that I’m feeling more like myself I can actually get some work done on both my day job and my house.

I need a second cup of coffee first, though.

Hoping your Wednesday is fabulous, Readers!

Photo by Matthew Henry on Unsplash