Category: family

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goodbye 2023

It wasn’t the worst year on record, but it wasn’t the best either. It was a year of ups and downs, turn arounds and backflips.

It was the first full year without my father in this world, my first Christmas without him. There was a lot of added responsibility with taking care of my stepmother and getting her settled into a life without him.

My pupper filled a hole in me that I wasn’t even aware I had, and I love her so completely. She gets me out of the house daily, and I’ve met some cool folks because of her.

I almost lost my 16 year old kitty, but she’s feeling so much better now and was even playing a little this morning. Now if I can just get her to eat the right food and take her meds.

I spent a lot of time with family this year, including a week-long vacation in NOLA with my Mom and brother. I didn’t do a whole lot of writing, but I’m happy with the writing I did do. Wrote a poem a day in November.

I probably drank too much, and I definitely ate stuff I probably shouldn’t have. Re-watched favorite shows and started a few new ones. Lost my facebook account, ditched X/Twitter, fell in love with Threads. Played around a little with AI art using my own photography as a base. Asked AI to tell me about myself and laughed at the results (what it got right was okay, what it got wrong was a lot and hilarious).

Looking forward to the new year. Hoping for a promotion on the day job. Want to finish at least one of the WIPs. Want to travel more.

First up in that regard is a solo trip to Disneyland in January. I’ve never done it alone, so it should be interesting. I plan to spend a lot of time hanging out in Batuu. I may take a notebook and do some writing there.

Also attending my first Supernatural convention in July. It’s the first time I’ve had the money to do what I need to do to handle my agoraphobia (front row seats) at the same time as they went on sale.

And on that note, my coffee is almost gone, the cat needs meds, and I should get this last Saturday of the year on it’s feet.

Photo by Behnam Norouzi on Unsplash

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my Morrigan kitty

A few days ago, I went upstairs to grab a pair of socks and found my 16 year old cat lying in a puddle of diarrhea and nearly unresponsive. I raced her to an emergency vet, certain I was about to lose her.

The vet convinced me that we could save her, but it wouldn’t be cheap. She spent a night in the hospital after bloodwork came back to show she had a stage 2 kidney disease. It was a pretty rough night for me, as our favorite time together is cuddling in bed.

I had to set up the spare room for her before I could bring her home, adding to the cost of the whole thing as I needed new food and water dishes, someplace soft for her to sleep, new litterbox, etc. When I picked her up last night, the cost of the meds and food I had to bring home brought the total cost of this illness to $2900. Luckily I had enough room on credit cards to cover it, but it’s going to strain my finances for the next few months.

I set up a GoFundMe campaign, and I would be humbled and honored if you, dearest Readers, would donate a small amount and/or share the campaign on your socials.

May your winter holidays be especially warm and bright, Readers. Hug your people and your furbabies and always tell them that you love them.

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time journeys on

It is hard to believe that we are at the midpoint of December. It’s been a year of status quo, travel, and challenge. For a good chunk of the year, I’ve felt stuck in a rut, but I’ve also traveled to a number of places I’ve never been before (and a few I have).

Mom and I took a road trip north of here, into gold country. We visited little towns and historical sites. We took lots of pictures. On the drive home, I learned that she wanted to visit New Orleans. New Orleans has been on my bucket list for a long time.

Next thing I know, we’re planning a week in NOLA, with my brother coming along for the ride. We did all the touristy things and even caught a Saints football game.

I also got back to Austin in August, and a few trips to Tucson to help my stepmother. Racking up the air miles! 

But here we are, December 16…Christmas is just 9 days away. The new year is just 7 days beyond that and we’ll be in 2024. There was a time in my life when that seemed impossible. It’s going to be a consequential year. Everything is on the line in the November election. It is easy to sink into despair over the state of things, but I choose optimism.

I choose to believe that Americans have seen the chaos of the last two years and will do the right thing to protect our democracy. Anything else is unthinkable.

These heavy thoughts brought to you by a lack of caffeine. I best get to pouring my first cup of Death Wish Coffee. Y’all have a great Saturday, Readers. 

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kindness matters

One of the best things in the whole world, for me anyway, is giving to those who have nothing, no way to repay a kindness. Sometimes this takes the form of buying breakfast for an unhoused person, sometimes it’s five bucks to get someone home on the train.

When I’m feeling down, I seek out someone who needs something I can provide. But it is important to me that I don’t just hand them a cup of coffee. That isn’t where the kindness lives. It lives in listening to their stories, in letting them talk if they want to. It’s in sitting on a curb sipping coffee with them.

Yesterday, my mother and I spent the day putting together care packages for the homeless. We got a hygiene kit together (toothbrush/paste, wet wipes, hand sanitizer, lip balm, etc), added a hat and gloves, a pair of socks, then we packed some food in. A mandarin orange, peanut butter sandwich, some crackers, cookies, trail mix, and some holiday cheer in the form of candy.

We ended up with twenty care packages that are currently in my car. On my way home, I stopped twice to hand out bags to two gentlemen I see fairly regularly. One of them wanted to give me something in return. He was sweet, and told me a long, rambling story of how he got the piece he was giving to me, and how special it is. Doesn’t matter that it’s just a bit of plastic that broke off of some decorative thing. It was about him feeling like he had something to give me in return.

Today, Mom and I are taking the packages to an encampment of homeless folks, along with some blankets. It is starting to be cold here, especially at night, and while we don’t get snow and all that, the cold can still be deadly.

Kindness matters. Spread some around.

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dragging myself out of bed

Yesterday was the absolute worst day of this cold. I hardly slept the night before due to coughing and sinus pain/pressure, and the cough was just killing me. I took the day off sick.

I drank Nyquil and snuggled into a blanket/pillow fort on the couch and watched a bunch of Leverage episodes. I coughed up junk and went through a box of kleenex. I only left the house to take the dog to the park and to take my mother to her sleep study.

After dropping Mom off, I crawled into my bed, put on a long ASMR video and drifted into a Nyquil fueled coma. I didn’t get a lot MORE sleep than the night before, but it was all in one solid chunk, and that seems to have made all the difference. I’m feeling much better this morning!

I did, however, have to drag myself out of bed before I wanted to so that I could go pick up my mother by 5:30 am. I am hoping that now that I’m feeling more like myself I can actually get some work done on both my day job and my house.

I need a second cup of coffee first, though.

Hoping your Wednesday is fabulous, Readers!

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getting back in the swing

Even though I’m largely back to myself, albeit significantly changed by the last year, things still feel kind of stilted and off. Somehow, I never really recognize a depression cycle until I’m coming out the other end.

And really, how did I not think that something like my father’s death would send me down a spiral?

I’m trying to write every day again, though I’m not ready to work on any of the novels I have partially written. I’m trying to at least put words on a page. I’ve even started a new story that I think will be a short story.

Despite the depression and grieving, both of which dialed up my agoraphobia quite a bit, I have done some pleasure travel this year mixed in with all the trips to Tucson.

My mother, brother, and I went to New Orleans in September for 8 days. We had such a great time. And, I was just back there this past weekend for some Halloween fun with friends.

This weekend I need to focus on getting some housework done, this place is a mess. It always gets like this when I’m depressed.

I’m taking a huge step next year and going to a Supernatural convention in SF. I’ve always wanted to go to one, but my agoraphobia makes it super difficult, but I’m in a place now where I can actually afford the high-end tickets and I scored a front-row seat. I both terrified and excited!

So yeah, working my way back to something that resembles a normal life.

You can follow me on Threads and/or Blue Sky and I am still on Instagram.

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…and I’m back

*blows off the dust*

So, after my father died, writing kind of took a back seat to dealing with the aftermath and getting my stepmother situated to carry on life without him. It meant a lot of travel back and forth to Tucson, all while I was grieving.

It meant that there was very little of me left for writing, either here or on any of my projects.

It’s been a whole year, and I am starting to find my way back. I’ve dubbed November NaPoWriMo, National Poetry Writing Month and I plan on writing a poem per day. If you want to follow along, visit https://weightywordspoetry.wordpress.com/.

In other news, I got my personal Facebook page disabled for no reason that I can understand, which has cut me off from my author and photography pages as well.

I have also left Twitter. You can find me on Threads or Bluesky. I don’t post all the same content on them, but there is some redundancy. I’m finding Threads is great for connecting with other writers and readers. I’m still struggling to find my way on Bluesky, but feel free to friend me on either or both sites.

I’m hoping to get back to one of the novels languishing on my hard drive too. I have no travel planned until the new year. With luck, that means enough down time to deep clean my house and get some writing done.

Welcome back!

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the year that was and the year that will be

Ah, New Year’s…that time of hope and good will and the best intentions. We say good riddance to the year that was and throw open our arms to embrace the year to come.

As a general rule, I do my goal setting and reminiscing about the year at Samhain, but it’s been a hell of a year.

I moved from Walnut Creek out to Stockton to be closer to my mom and brother. I went to Star Wars Celebration. I got a dog. I published three novels. I lost my father and stepped into the caretaker role for my stepmother. I got to go to Nashville to see Radio Company in their first public gig.

In April, I wrote a poem every single day. I finished writing one book and got a third of the way into the next.

I got to catch up with some family I haven’t seen in forever, and meet some family I had never met.

I generally suck at keeping up with any schedules or such when it comes to posting daily or weekly or whathaveyou…but I’d like to get back to a more regular posting schedule. When I started this blog, I committed to posting here every Mon-Weds-Fri, but life got in the way, so maybe I’ll attempt Saturdays and Wednesdays. One of those days I’ll post something about my writing process/progress and the other whatever comes to mind.

I’m also wanting to get back to writing more poetry, so you may see more of that too.

Here’s a wish for you, Readers: May 2023 bring you peace, joy, and love. May your coffee be strong, your food delicious, your sleep restful and your heart filled with kindness. Goodbye 2022, the year that was, and welcome 2023, the year that will be.

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the joys of being a growed up person

For a lot of years, I worked for a company that shut down for the week between Christmas and New Year’s. Then there was enough PTO available in my next jobs that I could take it off. This year, I opted to not take the time off, even though I could.

It’s always an odd week. Half the company is off on vacation, which means there are no meetings. The normal cadence of the week is off. But, that also means more time to get work done.

However, I find myself more easily distracted by random things. I head to the kitchen to get a drink and end up cleaning off a counter. I go to the bathroom to take care of business and end up rounding up towels for the laundry. Go out to get the mail and end up playing with the dog.

It doesn’t help that the weather has us cooped up in the house. It’s been wet and rainy for days. Poor Athena doesn’t understand why we haven’t been to the park, but she gets so dirty! And bathing her is a chore and a half.

I’ll be heading back to Arizona for a few days in a couple of weeks, to accompany my stepmother to a few appointments. Haven’t decided how I’m getting there just yet, with the current state of air travel.

I need to go out today to get the car smog tested so I can finish the registration stuff, and I need a few groceries besides.

I’d rather curl up on the couch with a book and a cuppa.

Ah well, the joys of being a growed up.

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season’s greetings and all that jazz

This holiday season has not felt particularly joyous. It’s taken me most of the month to muster up any amount of holiday spirit. My Yule consisted of lighting a single candle and staring at it for most of an hour. My Christmas Eve was essentially my annual watching of Die Hard and then crawling into bed.

I didn’t sleep well, in part because I did something to aggravate my back injury and in part because I could NOT shut my brain off.

While Christmas is not a religious holiday for me, it is a day to be spent with family, and sure enough, I’ll be headed over to my brother’s place later today for presents and food. I promised my stepmother I’d call when I got over there so everyone can say Merry Christmas. She’ll be spending the day with friends.

I can remember a time when I went all out for Christmas, particularly when the girls were small. I decorated the whole house and I bought extravagant gifts. I cooked and baked and took great pleasure in gifting people treats from my kitchen.

Maybe I’ll find my way back there someday, but for today, I just want to be with the ones I love, cuddle some puppies and enjoy being alive.

Whatever you celebrate, I hope today is filled with love and happiness, Readers. Be kind to yourself and those around you.

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