the neverending journey

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I have recently made the decision to undergo weight loss surgery.  I have been some level of overweight for most of my adult life.  At my largest, I weighed in at 320 pounds.  The smallest I’ve been as an adult was 153 pounds.  Currently I’m circling 280, and fighting to get down another five before I see the surgeon again.

Like most women who have struggled with their weight, I’ve tried every fad diet, every supplement, every new-fangled idea that came along.  Some of them worked, some of them didn’t.  Most recently I tried a very restricted eating regimen, which resulted in a loss of sixty something pounds, but I was only consuming 800 calories per day, which simply isn’t sustainable.

All of that dieting and sporadic bursts of exercise has my metabolic system so screwed up that when I upped my calorie count to 1000, I stopped losing weight.  When I upped it to 1200 on my doctor’s advice, I started gaining it back.

I’ve gained almost 30 pounds since then. Admittedly, I lost my will for it when I started gaining it back while still restricting calories, and I’ve struggled to get back to eating healthy after my vacation in September.

Ultimately, what made the decision for me was the levels of pain I am in on a daily basis.  My back, my feet, and most of my arms and shoulders are in chronic pain every day.  If I manage to walk my 10K steps on one day, the next day I can barely walk.  It’s nuts.  If I can’t walk, I can’t do much.

So, here we are.  I see the doctor on Wednesday, and that is when she will decide if we can schedule the surgery for before the end of the year. My hope is that this will set me up for a 2019 that is healthier and stronger, and less pain-filled than 2018 was.

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