the impostor

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My beta readers have started to come back with their feedback on the zero draft of The Blood Witch, a thing that always makes me both nervous and excited at the same time.  A lot of people think that writing the book is the hard part, but for me it is always that first flush of feedback.

This is the time when impostor syndrome ratchets up my anxiety into the stratosphere.  What if I’m wrong and the story sucks?  What if people are lying to me about my ability to write?  What if none of them like it?

Then when the actual feedback starts coming in, I have to work overtime to keep my brain from saying “See, I told you.  You suck.  Even they think so,” when in fact the feedback is largely positive, with the bits each reader thought needed more information, or didn’t quite work, which is, after all, the reason for beta readers.  Eyes other than mine, able to pick out the places where the story needs work.

Some of what I’ve heard so far are things I knew, things already on my list of “needs fixing” and/or “needs work”.  Some of it comes from folks who are not US natives, which helps a lot, because I don’t think about things like “non-US folk won’t know how our foster care system works” while I’m writing.

I’m still waiting for a few folks, so I’m not going to start edits just yet, just update my lists and maybe start a read through of my own to add to those lists as well.

The day job continues to be elusive for the moment, but I’m hoping something is coming my way soon.  Had a pretty decent interview on Friday, and I submitted a bunch of applications in the last few days, including one to Lucasfilm for an editing position (fingers crossed).

Did you remember to spring forward this morning?  It’s later than you think it is!  Time for coffee and a peruse of Facebook and Linked In before I go start some laundry and other fun chores.

Happy Sunday, Readers!  May it rain kindness upon you.

Photo by Danielle MacInnes on Unsplash

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