brain monkeys

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Sometimes, inspiration is hard to come by, and the imposter syndrome looms large. As I stare into this year with a big move on the immediate horizon and the terrifying prospect of searching for literary representation battling my desire to take my writing career in a forward direction (versus just going with what I know is safe but nowhere near as satisfying), it would be easy to let it all overwhelm me.

I do my damndest to write every day, even if the words suck. Even if it’s only a hundred words or so. Every word written is a weapon against the dark.

As I was writing the Epilogue to the third Blood Witch book over the holidays, I was struck with the notion that there was more to the story, that this trilogy was actually a quartet. So, I started on book four.

As of right now, the plot is a bit nebulous: I know where it begins and I know where it ends, but the middle part remains something of a mystery.

I’ve never been a writer who plots it all out with an outline and all. I mostly let my characters tell me where the story goes, so I’m sometimes surprised.

I’ve been a bit paralyzed by fear in the search for representation. I know these books are kind of in a niche within a niche, which makes it harder, and I know that agents get a ridiculous number of queries, so no answer is not a comment on my work, but that does nothing to quiet the monkeys in my brain.

I think I’ve decided to wait to query anyone else until after the move. In the meantime, I will continue pouring words into book 4, and polishing books 2 & 3. I am pretty happy with book 1 and all of the plot editing is done for 2 & 3, at least until an editor gets their hands on them.

So, here’s to a Tuesday in January of 2022. May it be amazing, Readers, and filled with kindness.

Photo by Jamie Haughton on Unsplash

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