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brain monkeys

Sometimes, inspiration is hard to come by, and the imposter syndrome looms large. As I stare into this year with a big move on the immediate horizon and the terrifying prospect of searching for literary representation battling my desire to take my writing career in a forward direction (versus just going with what I know is safe but nowhere near as satisfying), it would be easy to let it all overwhelm me.

I do my damndest to write every day, even if the words suck. Even if it’s only a hundred words or so. Every word written is a weapon against the dark.

As I was writing the Epilogue to the third Blood Witch book over the holidays, I was struck with the notion that there was more to the story, that this trilogy was actually a quartet. So, I started on book four.

As of right now, the plot is a bit nebulous: I know where it begins and I know where it ends, but the middle part remains something of a mystery.

I’ve never been a writer who plots it all out with an outline and all. I mostly let my characters tell me where the story goes, so I’m sometimes surprised.

I’ve been a bit paralyzed by fear in the search for representation. I know these books are kind of in a niche within a niche, which makes it harder, and I know that agents get a ridiculous number of queries, so no answer is not a comment on my work, but that does nothing to quiet the monkeys in my brain.

I think I’ve decided to wait to query anyone else until after the move. In the meantime, I will continue pouring words into book 4, and polishing books 2 & 3. I am pretty happy with book 1 and all of the plot editing is done for 2 & 3, at least until an editor gets their hands on them.

So, here’s to a Tuesday in January of 2022. May it be amazing, Readers, and filled with kindness.

Photo by Jamie Haughton on Unsplash

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let’s build

I get asked fairly often how it is that I do what I do. For a long time I didn’t realize that not everyone has an endless loop of stories in their heads or characters that pull up a chair to have a chat. It seems inconceivable to me and I know that in those brief periods of writer’s block I felt like I was going crazy without them.

Each story starts as either a character who just springs to life in my mind, or as world building. Brain, my muse, loves world building. I have hundreds of partially defined worlds in my head at any given time. Sometimes it starts with a concept, say a universe where corporations govern, or gender-bent Victorian era. Sometimes it begins with a character, say an orphan raised in restrictive religious colony that shuns technology but is herself a technological wonder or a pickpocket who is quick on her feet.

Those are the easy things. The stuff that comes before the writing.

Of course, the challenge then is to populate those worlds with characters that will get the reader’s attention or to find a world for that character to live in.

When it comes to plot, I often start writing without one. The first words I get out tell us something about the character, usually by dropping in on them in the middle of some scenario or situation that may ultimately have nothing to do with the primary plot, but gives us a good idea who this person is.

Most of the time, I let the plot fill itself in as I write. Sure, this means that sometimes I have to do some extensive re-writes to make sure it all comes together, but I find that this is where the story comes to life for me. Sometimes I have specific plot points in mind that I want to hit along the way, but not always.

Of course, because Brain is fond of world building, I sometimes craft these meticulously detailed worlds that then sit idle until the right set of characters come around. I have a notebook full of these, and a folder on my One Drive as well.

Now, if I could just get Brain back to the work of telling this story! I have two weeks until I start my new job to try to finish the zero draft of the third Blood Witch book. My coffee is getting cold, Readers, so I’ll leave you here. Have a fabulous Sunday.

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love what you do, do what you love

Every story I write, there comes a time somewhere in the writing or editing (or both) where I decide the whole plotline sucks, when I’m ready to chuck the whole thing and give up writing forever. Every single time. Sometimes at multiple points in the journey from concept to published story.

I’ve recently hit this again on The Blood Witch. I’ve pulled the complete set of stories together so I can work through some continuity issues and plug some plot holes, and as I’m reading/editing to weave pieces together, I hit a point that I’m sure it sucks.

Fortunately, having been here before, I know to step back and stop until I’ve sorted through what in the plot is bugging me. Always, when I remember to do this, I come back after a few days of rumination and I re-find my love of the story.

And, Readers, I do love this story so much! I love the characters. I love the way the plots of each of the three books is different, and takes us new places. I love my MC’s voice, which is important since she is telling the story. I love getting to play with mythology and mythical creatures.

I’m not sure of the ending just yet, but I’m getting there. And really, getting there is the better part anyway!

Okay, off to prep for a meeting for the day job. And maybe more coffee. Coffee is life!

Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash

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what a week

Like most Americans, my attention has been firmly on our nation’s capitol this week, as law enforcement investigates the uprising at the capitol and congress worked to hold the president responsible for inciting that violence.

I’ll admit that it has not been great for my creativity or productivity!

That said, I did finish the zero draft of the second Blood Witch book over the weekend. Up next will be an editing pass to flesh out a few scenes and retrofit some story points that developed near the end.

For as long as I have been writing, my characters can still surprise me. Going into this book, I knew the plot points I wanted to hit, at least in the beginning and middle. The ending changed multiple times while I was writing, and a relationship developed between two characters along the way, which I now have to go back through and lay the breadcrumbs in.

There’s a certain satisfaction that comes with reaching the end of the book, even though I know there is still work to do. It was a victory I needed this week.

Now though, I need to finish my coffee and get on with the day job. I hope you are all safe and well, Readers and that you manage to find joy in these chaotic and dangerous times.

Cover Photo by Waldemar Brandt on Unsplash

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the writing part of writing

Being an author is an odd sort of thing, I suppose, especially to those who are not *people who write* and especially not for those who also do not read. I was a voracious reader as a child. I absorbed words like a sponge. Stories were vehicles that transported me out of my bedroom and into worlds larger than any one mind can conceive.

Maybe it was inevitable that I would pick up a pen and start writing. I wanted in on that magic! I loved creating new worlds, new characters. I wrote science fiction, fantasy, and poetry. I tried my hand at mystery and romance. I studied and tried to emulate my favorite authors. I wanted my prose to be lush and invigorating. I wanted the worlds in my stories to come to life.

For that to happen, I learned, the author needs to spend a good amount of time prior to words hitting the paper. There is world building to do. There are characters to build out so that they are realistic and not just cardboard cut outs. There is plot to invent, stretch, turn, twist and resolve. Inevitably, that plot has holes that need to be filled.

And all of that comes either before or during the actual writing part of the writing process. Okay, sometimes after the first draft is done.

I can spend months (or longer) doing all the stuff that happens in my head before I start writing. My muse loves world building more than anything, so the worlds I see in my head are amazing landscapes of complex societies that I can only hope I capture as I begin to write.

This last weekend saw over ten thousand new words in the second Blood Witch book, signaling an end of the mental block 2020 clamped on my muse and ushering in the period where the words begin to spill from my fingers. It’s the part of the writing process that wants to just devour my life. The story spins out in my head faster than my fingers can translate it to the page, and I am best able in this phase to tune out my inner editor and just get it down.

I maybe feel the most like myself when I’m doing the writing part of writing. Unfortunately for me, today is Monday…and that means a return to the day job, so more word craft will need to wait, though I am hoping to get through this scene before I open the work computer.

I hope you are safe and sane, Readers, and that your week is filled with magic and kindness.

Cover Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

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build me a world and let me play

The Blood Witch is off with my first agent query, as of last week. I’m nervous and terrified and very excited. I am so very pleased with this book and these characters and I can only hope that someone out there likes the story enough to represent me and get me a good book deal.

I had intended to take some time to work on other projects, but Thána doesn’t appear inclined to stop talking, so I have already begun the second book. No, I don’t know how to not be writing/editing.

The second book will shift the focus a little bit, give us a new world to play in and may even give Thána a love interest, probably female. Of course, this means giving Brain (my muse) the kind of work she loves best, world-building.

To be honest, she’s been playing at what this world will look like since about the beginning of March. I’m still teasing out the full plot, but I have the usual five or six plot points that the story will be built around. So far, what I know is that the world we will visit has undergone recent, radical, apocalyptic changes. It is a place filled with many races, some of which are familiar, some of which will be wholly new creatures.

Not going to say more, and I do not have a working title yet, but I have the first 1000 words or so and I look forward to seeing where the story takes me.

Happy Memorial Day, Readers. Please be safe!

Cover Photo by NASA on Unsplash

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a plan for the day

There comes a point in every book where I want to chuck it all in and never write another word.  I start to question my plot. I start to think my characters are crap.  I become fairly certain that the whole thing is a steaming pile of garbage left to rot in the sun.

Thankfully, a few days away from the book is usually enough to cure me of it, and then I fall in love with my characters again. I plug up plot holes.  I draw maps to make sure I’m using consistent language and direction when I’m writing about travels.  I fortify character descriptions, using sensual language to really let the reader see the character. I read through the book, making notes on things I need to thread deeper into the story, and then I go back to the beginning and I edit.

I hit the first point the other day, as I was finishing my first edit pass on The Blood Witch. I was pretty sure I was just going to toss it, and the year or so I’ve spent writing it, in the bin and stop calling myself a writer.

This morning, as I sit here sipping my coffee and contemplating my day, I’m reaching the second point.  I know where my holes are and I have good ideas on fixing them.  I have a list of little things I want to carry forward because I wrote them in with good intentions, and then forgot about them completely. I have a deep abiding love for my two main characters, and character notes on how to improve the secondary and tertiary characters.

My one remaining quandary is that my narrator main character is witty and fun in the first half of the book, but some of that bleeds off in the second half.  Part of it is due to the circumstances, and that will remain. But, I know that when I am under stress I get more sarcastic, not less, so I want to work on building some of that back in.

So that is the mission I will embark on today.  After the coffee is gone, the garden watered, breakfast eaten, for at least two hours today, and every day this week, I work on filling in the gaps and making this book something to be proud of.

Of course, then the real work happens because it is time to start querying.  Which is vaguely terrifying.

So, off to do those precursor things so that I can get to the words.  Have a pleasant Monday, Readers.  Stay safe.

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sleep, glorious sleep…or lack thereof

For most of my adult life I have had bouts of insomnia.  There are just times when my body isn’t tired or my brain won’t turn off.  They used to be nights of no sleep.  Lately, they have been nights of sleeping super hard and deep for two to three hours, then waking up and off goes my brain into hyper space.

Some nights I lay there plotting, or fixing plot holes, or world building.  Some nights I lay in bed and stare at YouTube until my eyes close again…or more often, until I’ve come to the conclusion that we are done sleeping (we being me and my brain), and I get up, start some coffee and go sit at the computer hoping to get some of whatever I was plotting or building down on paper.

Last night I was awake around 1:30am, for no apparent reason that I could see, and my brain took off plotting the second book in the Blood Witch story.  There’s a whole new world, you see, that needs proper world building attention!  I watched Bob Ross paint for a while and started to doze, but as soon as I turned him off again, I was awake.

Took a while to finally sleep again, but sleep I did.  For at least an hour and a half.  Having no clue what time I went to bed last night, I’m not sure how much sleep I actually ended up getting, but I guess that’s what coffee is for.

And that coffee is tasting mighty good right now.  I’m taking the day off of the job hunt for an outing with my sister-in-law and niece, which I suppose means I have to wear real clothes, and I probably should finish cleaning out the car.  Part of my Disneybound costume from January is still in the back seat.

So, I’m going back to my coffee before it gets cold.  I hope Wednesday is wonderful and filled with blessings for you, Readers.

 

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writing life

You know you’re a writer when…so many things could follow that opening phrase, but for me lately the big one is, “You know you’re a writer when you wake up in the middle of the night with bits of plot chasing bits of dialog begging to be put down on the page.”

Every night this week, somewhere around 2am, I wake up with my Brain putting together words to flesh out some bit of dialog or battling through some plot hole or point that I’ve been fighting with.  While that’s nice and all, it would be nicer if it would come at a reasonable time…like when I’m already at the computer.

I have always been one to spin tales almost as easily as I breathe, and any time I can not write for at least fifteen minutes a day I get very cranky and not a fun person to spend time with.  It doesn’t matter what it is I’m writing, just that I’m exercising that part of myself regularly.

Currently I am focused on finishing my zero draft of The Blood Witch and recruiting two or three beta readers to give it a once over to make sure I’ve closed up all of the plot holes and chased all of the inconsistencies out of the final product.  That is especially an important aspect when the story started out as a short story idea, mostly just an exploration of a character, and grew, changed, grew again and then the whole thing morphed into what it is becoming right now.  There is at least one early chapter that I know will need a lot of work to catch the inconsistencies born of the way I got to this point.

I am, however, very happy with the story as it stands, rough patches and all.  I hope to wrap it all up in the next few weeks, so if you have the time and inclination to offer services as a beta reader, and are willing to share your honest assessment of the plot and characters with me to help guide me through the next draft, reach out and let me know.

With that, I’m off to refill my coffee cup and get on to the day job.  Have a lovely Tuesday, Readers, and remember that kindness matters!

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by the seat of my pants

I don’t think anyone who knows me would be surprised by the fact that I kind of fly by the seat of my pants when I write.  Oh, I usually have a few established plot points in mind when I start, some targets to hit along the way, but sometimes all I have is a character or an ending, and the rest comes along as I write.

Unsurprisingly, this usually means that I end up having to do some heavy editing once the first draft is done, and I already have a pretty lengthy list of things I need to go back and fix as I sit here around sixty thousand words on The Blood Witch.  Some things I fix on the fly, but most I just make note of and keep moving, so I don’t get trapped in an endless edit loop and never finish the zero draft.

For me, getting the story down is more important than getting it *right* the first time through.  I can edit and finesse and dress up later.  First I need to get the bare bones down.  Sure, I have some phrases and entire scenes that come out perfect the first time through, but more often than not, those will end up cut out as the story evolves and get tucked away in a file in the dark recesses of the computer to be played with from time to time.

Over time, as the plot develops, I become more and more sure of the ending, and how to get there.  I’m at that place right now where I can see the ending, and I know a bunch of the plot points I need to get there, and really, I just need to sit my ass down and write.  If only I could squeeze out a few more hours in my day!

I’m hoping to write for as many as six hours per day on the weekends, and a half hour to an hour, minimum, per day through the week…I just need to figure out how to manage that with the day job, the freelance job, the gym, the commute, the housework, etc.

Speaking of, I should get back to it before the day gets away from me or I get buried under the mountain of laundry. Happy Sunday, Readers!

Photo by Uwe Jelting on Unsplash

 

Photo by Uwe Jelting on Unsplash