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#amediting

I am knee deep into editing an anthology of awesome stories told by amazing female writers.  It’s a wonderful assortment that spans sci-fi, fantasy and horror and in some cases mixes them together.

It’s always interesting to me how individual writers interpret a prompt or theme.  The theme here is all about rebellion and ghosts, about fighting for what you believe in, winning, losing, the things we sacrifice, willingly or not, along the way.

These ten or so stories tell tales of women in crisis, women in triumph, women in defeat and so much more.

I really can’t wait until I can share these with you!  Keep your eyes on this space!

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when the wall comes down

Have you ever sat yourself down to write something, but the words just don’t come?  I think most writers have done battle with the brick wall that is writer’s block, and we all have our own ways of trying to break through.

I’ve been pretty fortunate in my life to almost always have several diverse projects going that I can switch gears and write something different to allow the blockage to clear.  I also have other artistic endeavors that help me get the fires going again.

When I was younger, I didn’t realize that not everyone has endless voices in their head telling them stories, not everyone could spin a tale out of a handful of facts, not everyone could never be lonely because of the cast of thousands in their head.  The very notion of writer’s block made no sense to me.  The words never stopped.  They sometimes were telling stories that I wasn’t actually trying to write, but then those were usually the best ones in the end.

Where I hit the wall though is when I have a specific topic that I need to write for, and a deadline, particularly if I’m dragging myself out of an engaging fiction to do it.  I found writer’s block when it came to essays and school papers and the like.

Sometimes you just have to soldier through it, squeeze out the words, even if they’re crap.  I usually find when I do that, that the edit and clean up is actually easier than the writing.  Then I usually reward myself with writing something fun.

Sometimes I wonder about those people who don’t have a bunch of voices in their head telling them stories…it must be a lonely existence, all alone in that head.

I think I’d go mad.

 

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imposter syndrome

Do you know what imposter syndrome is?  I don’t know a single creative who isn’t plagued by it at some point in their career, if not through their whole career. I am no different.

It usually hits about now, when I have submitted a book to an editor and I’m waiting for the return.  There’s this voice in the back of my head that starts whispering that this is it, this is the moment when everyone finds out that I’m a hack, that I can’t write my way out of a paper bag, my plots recycled, my characters flat.

This is it.  This is where it all ends.

Of course, it doesn’t actually end here.  In a week or so I’ll get my edits back with things I need to fix and notes on character or plot, along with notes of cheerleading from my editor and lots of exclamation marks around how much she loved it.

That will placate the voices for a while, until I’m ready to turn it in for publishing.  Then it all comes flooding back and it can be crippling.  This is when that voice accusing me of being an imposter is joined by all of those voices that show me the lack of external validation…”You can’t even get reviews on the first two, what makes you think anyone wants to read your drivel?”

Is it any wonder that creatives are such fragile creatures sometimes?

Lest you think that it’s just in my creative writing I suffer this madness, know that just this month I received a raise in my day job that puts me at a level I’ve never expected to reach, and still, at least twice a week I’m struck with absolute terror that they’re going to realize I’m just posing, that I don’t know what I’m doing (despite the evidence to the contrary) and put me out on the street.

The only cure I know is to just keep going, which is why I’m eight pages into the seventh chapter of my next book.  It feels good to be writing a new story in a new world and a different style.

Take that, voices.

 

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the path to perfection

I’m a writer.  Left to my own devices, I would probably never stop fiddling with a story.  I still find places in things I wrote twenty years ago that I’d change, fix, re-write, update, flesh out….you get the idea.

So there comes a point in every manuscript where I have to make myself take my hands off it and send it to my editor.  I’ve reached that point with Where Shadows Fall.

Later today I will be sending it off to my hard working editor who will correct all of my typos, point out the places where I don’t tie things together, ask me what was I thinking here, give me comments on characters and characterization and give me feedback on what’s missing, what needs more fleshing out and how to fill up that plot hole I didn’t even see.

When I get it back from her, I’ll be a step closer to ready to submit to my publisher.  Before submission, however, it’s my turn to use what she gives me to make the story shine.

Finishing this book is a milestone.  It ends the story begun in Through Shade and Shadow,  and closes off a chapter in my writing life.  There are so many stories bursting inside my head and I can’t wait to see where they take me next!

Now, to a cup of coffee and the day job.  Happy Wednesday, Readers!!

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how about a sale?

Today and tomorrow only, my first book, Forever is on sale for your Kindle pleasure.  Just 99 cents gets you a gothic tale of a girl born into a family of vampires, and her life as she grew to understand her differences, sought her freedom, loved, lost and more.

“I am comfortable in the dark, when the moon slumbers and clouds dim the stars and the smell of the earth rises in the still air.  Perhaps that still moment is the only place I am comfortable.   My years have been long and have seen me travel nearly all of this world, often alone.  I have given life and dealt death, but I offer no regret.  Regret is a waste of effort when justice brings the guilty no peace.  I will see justice in the end, I am certain of that, for all that I have done, and all I have not.”

If you haven’t gotten your copy yet, now is a grand time to do so.

Reviews say:

“Beautifully Written, Drenched in Blood…”

“Epic and engrossing”

“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”

So what are you waiting for?

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the early morning quiet

I’m in the office over an hour earlier than normal this morning because I need to leave early to shoot some senior portraits for a lovely young lady. So early in fact, none of the restaurants down stairs were open when I got here.

The office is dark and quiet and I’m the only one here.  It’s times like these I enjoy, which is also why I love working from home and living alone.  The silence is pristine. and the quiet is very settling…which is good when you have a day as full as this one is going to be.

Over the weekend I spent a lot of time working on Where Shadows Fall, because the ending just wasn’t working for me.  It’s a lot better now, which brings us closer to the place where I get it off to the editor who will make it even better.

I also spent some time reconsidering an old story idea that has been hanging around the back corners of my brain since I was in my twenties.  May see if I can breathe some life into it.  Not sure it has the plot for a full novel though.  Possibly a novella.  We’ll see.

Sounds like the coffee is ready, and I should take advantage of this quiet while I can, so I’ll leave you here, my lovely readers.  I hope your Monday is filled with hope and wonder.

 

 

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where shadows fall

The final book in the Shades and Shadows trilogy has been a slow go for me, not because I was bored of the story or anything like that.  In fact, I still love this story a great deal.  However, in the process of re-writing the first two books several times there were a number of significant changes in the plot that needed to be carried over into the final book.

Making sure I got all of that right took some time, and then I had three possible endings in mind, so I had to make some decisions. This weekend, I wrote the ending, and the “zero draft” as it were, is finished.

That’s not to say that Where Shadows Fall is ready for the editor.  I have a lot of work to do on it before that time. I have at least two pages that contain notes such as “Insert description here” and “needs better dialog” and other such creative bits, and the word count is far below what it needs to be as a result.

Still, it’s a big thing to finish a trilogy.  With any luck I’ll be able to tell you how to get Where Shadows Fall this summer!

But for now, I’m off to the day job and a second cup of coffee.  Happy Monday, Readers!

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dystopia

When I was a teenager I loved dystopian fiction.  I was obsessed with the idea of the end of the world as we know it and how the people left after catastrophe would survive. I wanted to visit all kinds of different worlds with different types of societies and different means of living.

Part of that, for certain, was caught up in my religious outlook and my internal self doubt that I would slip up somehow and miss the rapture so as to be stuck behind on an earth that was living in the tribulation period, but aside from that, I was drawn to the plucky upriser, the person who stood up to the dystopia they found themselves in and rather than submitting to their fate, they fought back, they carved out their own place or stood up to an unjust system, rebelled against a corrupt government.

I guess I still am.  I just never suspected that dystopia would be so easy to establish.  No global calamity was needed, just a government run by people more concerned with money than the well being of its citizens.

Heh, when I first wrote the first draft of Through Shade and Shadow almost six years ago now, I considered it’s political plot to be too far fetched.  No one would believe America could be torn apart that fast, even with an outside influence at work behind the scenes.

Now, here we are in a land where the president and congress are more concerned with corporate welfare and the well being of millionaires and billionaires than they are for the rest of the citizens, where safety regulations are swiftly becoming a thing of the past, where cities can poison their own people with lead with no consequences, where children can be mowed down with guns no other civilized country allows in the hands of its citizens and over the grieving of their mothers we as a nation shout about our rights to own these death machines.

But, just liked in all of those dystopian stories I read as a teenager, someone is rising up. Heroes are emerging. Resistance is beginning.

And just like in those stories, those heroes are teenagers.  I know this plot.

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coupling

Today is a day in American culture that seems to scream that you must be paired up, that without a life partner who can shower you with expensive presents on this arbitrary day in February, you don’t matter.

I don’t begrudge those who are happily coupled (or triaded or quadra-coupled, or whatever number works for you), and if you chose to “celebrate” good on you, have fun, don’t put yourself in debt, etc.

Personally, I am generally happy without a partner.  Days like today there’s this false desire to have someone who would bring me flowers or jewelry, even though I know that for the most part, I don’t really want either.  I’m allergic to most flowers, I can’t have candy and I don’t even wear the jewelry I already have…and if I’m honest, I feel nearly all of those things are a waste of money that could be saved to give me what I really would rather have: travel with someone I love.

In other news, I posted a snippet of my new novel-in-progress over on my Patreon this morning, for patrons only.  I’m thinking this weekend, I may do a brief video over there. You should come get in on the fun.  Just a dollar a month gets you in.  Higher support levels bring better rewards.

That’s all for now, Readers!

 

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working writer at work

Some days it’s hard to be a writer who has a day job.  Inevitably, my muse gets chatty while I’m trying to write some technical instructions or what have you.  Today is one of those days.  The main character in my blood witch story has been really chatty the last few days and if I could be home writing, I would be.

Instead, I’m in the office. You know, the daily struggle to pay the bills.

Speaking of paying the bills, do you know about www.patreon.com? It’s a nifty little place for people who love art (music, words, visual arts, more) to help the artists they like.  You pledge to pay a certain amount per month and in return, you get various goodies that can stem from behind the scenes looks at work in progress, blog posts for patrons only, and up to actual physical books.

As I build audience, I’ll add in some fun video clips (maybe me reading snippets or short stories), and other fun things.  If you’re interested in supporting me, my patreon can be found here: www.patreon.com/natalie.  Special access begins at only $3/month, though once a month I will also give the $1/month folks a sneak peek.

And, with that plea for your support, I must go back to my cup of coffee and the day job.  Those bills need paying!