Tag: choices

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and just like that, it’s June

I’m not really sure where January, February, March, April and May have all gotten themselves off to, but I hope they’re having fun.  It seems like just a day or two ago I was struggling to remember to write 2017 on things instead of 2016 (or the inexplicable occasions where I wrote 1996….what?), and here we are on the first of June.

We sent May out with a bang though.  My niece graduated high school on Tuesday.  She is the youngest of my brother’s kids, and I couldn’t be more proud of the woman she is becoming.  The school she graduated from is one of the top 1% of schools in the country and her classmates are all amazing students, most of whom will be attending four year universities and colleges in the fall.

I got back from all of that frivolity last night, and when I woke up this morning it was June.  Already, my calendar is jam packed for the month.

babf_logoStarting this weekend when I will be at the Bay Area Book Festival in Berkeley, California signing (and selling) books.  I will have copies of my two novels, Forever and Through Shade and Shadow as well as my small collection of poetry.  Sale pricing is $12 each for the novels and $2.50 for the poetry collection.

I can take cash, credit cards and paypal.  It should be a fun day for the whole family.  With all of the vendors and authors, there should be something for everyone!

San Francisco Pride is at the end of the month, for a completely different festival to bookend the month.  Pride likewise has something for just about everyone.  If you come out to one or both days of Pride remember to wear sunscreen, dress in layers, wear comfortable shoes, and please consider dropping a dollar (or more) into one of those pink buckets.  Every penny goes to support the organization that creates the festival and/or the organizations that take care of our community.

Somewhere between those bookends, I will be taking a couple of days to head out to Yosemite with my mother, to enjoy some nature and some truly breathtaking views, like this one, which I took on my last trip to Yosemite in 2010.

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But for now, I should go pour my second cup of coffee and get to working the day job.  Hope you all have a pleasant day!

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be the future

I love my weekend mornings.  They start with coffee and words.  It’s my time to write, or in some cases, edit.  The first few hours of the day are peaceful and quiet and I get to step out of the world I live in to inhabit some place filled with magic…well, mayhem as well.  What good is a story that doesn’t shake things up a bit?

Anyway, I’m enjoying that part of my Sunday morning, working on the closing chapters of In Shades of Sage, the second book in the Shades and Shadows series.  It feels good to be writing again.  I’ve been stuck on the same chapter for weeks. Yesterday I worked out where it was going wrong and re-worked it, so I get to write fresh material today.

But, my time is short today because in a few hours I need to leave to head out to Stockton, CA to spend time with family.  Not only is it Memorial Day weekend, but my niece is graduating from High School on Tuesday.

On the one hand, it doesn’t seem possible that she’s even old enough (forget that she turned 18 in January), on the other it’s kind of amazing to see the person she turned out to be.  I vaguely remember my own high school graduation. For the most part, I was just glad to be done with it.

I was a very different person then, and I really didn’t see much future for myself, if I’m honest.  I was surviving.  For Vae, I’m hoping she sees a brighter future for herself.  I hope she has dreams and ambitions beyond just surviving high school.  I hope to see her shine as she moves into the life she creates for herself.

No matter what that future is, no matter what roadblocks get in the way.  Don’t let anyone else tell you what your future is meant to be.  Make it your own way.  Be the future you want to see.

I’ll be over here with my pompoms cheering you on.

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the day job

Like many independent authors, I can not give up my day job because it is the only thing keeping a roof over my head and the internet paid for.  Which isn’t to say that sales have been bad.  But if I was relying on book sales to keep me ensconced in comfy pajama pants and cat videos on demand, I’d be sleeping in a cardboard box.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining.  Fifteen years ago I wouldn’t even have gotten a book published (believe me, I tried), so every sale is something special.   And I LOVE the shifting dynamics of the publishing world.  There are so many outlets for books that might never have come to be, and so many new ways of reading content.  It’s truly delightful.

However, that does mean a market saturation, which makes each book sale something you have to work for.  And marketing a book is more work than anyone can guess, unless you’ve done it.

So, it’s a good thing I like what I do for a living.  Doesn’t mean I wouldn’t rather spend my days writing, but I make do with the knowledge that I get to hone my editing skills every day.  I’m also grateful that I work in tech, where I can wear Star Wars and Supernatural t-shirts every day and dye my hair green and sport a variety of tattoos…and no one even looks at me sideways.

Speaking of the day job, the office is waking up around me so I guess I should go pour that second cup of coffee and get to it.  Happy Monday, Readers!

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the choices we make

I am childless by choice.  When I was younger I thought I wanted a big family, with lots of kids.  Then I thought I only wanted one.  I even took a few steps toward making it happen.  But in the end, I eventually realized that I did not need a child born from my body to fulfill some societal construction of being a woman.

Which isn’t to say that I haven’t been a mother.  In the years when my two nieces were young, I lived with my brother and his wife and I helped parent two amazing people.  I showered all of my mothering on them, and they turned out to be beautiful young adults.

I’m not knocking those who chose to give birth.  I think it’s a beautiful thing.  I stand in awe of mothers everyday.  I know my own mother is a super-hero in my eyes.  Always has been. My parents split when I was 11, and my mother had primary custody.

Divorce is always ugly for the kids, even when the parents do their best to shield them from the acrimony.  I was old enough to see it all, and while I thought I knew what was going on, I can see looking back that I didn’t understand it all.

But, life after the break up was tough.  My mother did her best though, and she loved us fiercely.  I learned a lot of life skills from her.  I learned compassion and sacrifice from her.

I didn’t need to give birth to understand motherhood.  I didn’t need an infant in my arms to know unconditional love.  I chose to give my mothering to those in need, from my nieces, to the homeless, from pets to families struggling with poverty around the globe.  These are my children, and I could never love them as I do without learning that love from my own mother.

So, happy Mother’s Day, to my mother, my sister-in-law, all of you who mother, whether your own child or others who need you.  The choices we make define us.  Choose love first.