how an introverted agoraphobe travels

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I am nearly completely packed up for my weekend trip to Denver, just need to stick my journal and a pen in the backpack, and double check my electronics. I’ve checked into the hotel. I will be checking into my flight in about 20 minutes. I have a full work day ahead of me.

This is probably the least anxious moment in my travel. Until I achieve all of the check-ins, I’m a ball of anxiety fretting about what will go wrong. But, now is the calm of knowing I have the plans in place, and with that, knowing I can go with the flow.

Tomorrow will kickstart the actual travel anxiety: What if I don’t get to the airport on time? What if I miss my train? Miss my flight? What if the plane has a problem? What if there are anti-maskers on the plane? What if someone with COVID coughs in my face? What if…etc. Oh, and my brain can manufacture the most outrageous scenarios to worry over. It’s kind of ridiculous, really.

Then, once in Denver, there’s the “What if I can’t find my friends in the airport?” and “What if we can’t find the hotel?” (which is silly because GPS and we’ve been there before), etc.

But! Once we’ve gotten to the hotel, gotten into our room and found the conference registration? Then it’s a weekend of mostly relaxation. Sure, there will be moments of panic/fear/needing to hide. There always is. And when I come home on Sunday, there will be a few days of hiding and recharging.

I control what I can so that I can let go of what is outside my control. My flight, my car, my hotel.

Oh, and double checking that the Death Wish Instant coffee is in my suitcase. I do need my coffee, you know.

I should get to that day job thing. And maybe second coffee.

Photo by Suhyeon Choi on Unsplash

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