Tag: sirens

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the art of the heart

How does one sum up a weekend like this one? Every time I try, my mind fills with a kaleidoscope of images that cover a spectrum of beautiful faces, bright colors, book covers, poetry and prose, rainbow hair and amazing costumes.

It seems strange to me that I haven’t always known these people, that it has only been 5 years since my first Sirens conference.

Every year I am able to come to Sirens, I learn new things and I meet new friends. Inspiration abounds, whether it comes in the form of one of the panels / papers, or in a conversation with friends, or one of the Guest of Honor speeches.

So many artists, with so many kinds of arts! Not just writers…we have people who paint and draw and crochet and knit and cross stitch (and other fiber arts). This is most evident on Saturday night at the Sirens Ball, where participants are encouraged to dress for the theme, and the silent auction tables are filled with amazing prints, jewelry, wood working, clothing, scarves and more.

I have a good amount of imposter syndrome when I walk in (and at other times), but it usually melts with the first hug from a fellow author who’s work I adore. This year I forced myself out of my agoraphobic paralysis and actually had conversations with our Guests of Honor (and they were all lovely).

There is beauty in a place that not only accepts you for who you are, but embraces you for it, where you are free to be entirely and unapologetically yourself. Where your beauty is not defined by the size of your body or the shape of your face…where we paint the landscape around us with the art of our hearts and revel in our resistance to the mundane.

But all good things must end, and I have already dropped folks at the airport, checked out of the hotel and am waiting for it to be time to drop my luggage. Then, I will find a place where I can plug in my charger and do some writing/editing.

Tomorrow we go back to the daily grind, and the beautiful land we created from our imaginations will fade slowly back into just a memory that we can pull out when we need to be reminded that we are wonder and joy and fierce.

Until next year, Sirens…I will keep you in my heart until we meet again.

Photo by Tim Marshall on Unsplash

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the journey begins

It’s early morning at Sirens. My roommates are all sleeping. So is the sun. In a little bit I will get dressed and go looking for coffee. But right now it’s just me and my computer and my thoughts.

There is a lot of emotional baggage confined into the space of a weekend.

There is joy at seeing friends after so long apart. There is anxiety over COVID. There is sadness and grief for those who have died. There is anticipation for panels and workshops and finding new books and new authors and new friends.

It’s a lot to process.

Last night’s key note by one of the guests of honor was wonderful, looking at villainy and redemption and how different they look because of a character’s gender. She used several examples, including Maleficent and Cruella and the Joker.

It’s not something I’ve ever really considered, really. How we accept a redemption arc for man as a victory, and yet for a woman it’s about her submission to the societal norms. How recent attempts at redemption for Maleficent and Cruella didn’t so much try to redeem them into say a heroine, but instead offer us a backstory meant to soften our understanding of them as the villain of the piece.

Suddenly, seeing Maleficent as a child, and how she was wronged, we’re meant to empathize and understand what we previously saw as villainous behavior.

I think this weekend will stire up a lot of very thinky thoughts, Readers!

I hope yours is filled with kindness and revelations. Now, bring me my coffee!!!

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how an introverted agoraphobe travels

I am nearly completely packed up for my weekend trip to Denver, just need to stick my journal and a pen in the backpack, and double check my electronics. I’ve checked into the hotel. I will be checking into my flight in about 20 minutes. I have a full work day ahead of me.

This is probably the least anxious moment in my travel. Until I achieve all of the check-ins, I’m a ball of anxiety fretting about what will go wrong. But, now is the calm of knowing I have the plans in place, and with that, knowing I can go with the flow.

Tomorrow will kickstart the actual travel anxiety: What if I don’t get to the airport on time? What if I miss my train? Miss my flight? What if the plane has a problem? What if there are anti-maskers on the plane? What if someone with COVID coughs in my face? What if…etc. Oh, and my brain can manufacture the most outrageous scenarios to worry over. It’s kind of ridiculous, really.

Then, once in Denver, there’s the “What if I can’t find my friends in the airport?” and “What if we can’t find the hotel?” (which is silly because GPS and we’ve been there before), etc.

But! Once we’ve gotten to the hotel, gotten into our room and found the conference registration? Then it’s a weekend of mostly relaxation. Sure, there will be moments of panic/fear/needing to hide. There always is. And when I come home on Sunday, there will be a few days of hiding and recharging.

I control what I can so that I can let go of what is outside my control. My flight, my car, my hotel.

Oh, and double checking that the Death Wish Instant coffee is in my suitcase. I do need my coffee, you know.

I should get to that day job thing. And maybe second coffee.

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travel in the time of COVID

One week from today, I will be in Denver, CO for a convention unlike most others I have ever attended. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t anxious about the travel and the collection of people in small rooms. Sure, I’ll double mask on the plane and the con has good COVID practices in place (everyone must be vaxxed and have a negative COVID test for starters), but my only experience with “crowds” was in August this year, and there were only twelve of us.

I considered not going. Several times. However, Sirens is a place that feeds my soul, and if I’m honest, my soul has been sorely in need of feeding.

Sirens is a place where we get to explore the world of speculative fiction (sci-fi, horror, fantasy, etc) through the lens of voices that are not considered “traditional” in that space. By which, I mean: women, BIPOC, LGBTQ+, etc. (Reminder that this year’s anthology, “Villains and Vengeance” is available now!)

It’s part reader’s conference, part writer’s retreat and part networking weekend. This will be my third time at Sirens.

Of course my COVID anxiety is only just part of my anxiety, because there is also the uncertainty of travel, particularly since I am flying Southwest, and my agoraphobia, which has only gotten worse since the start of COVID. I have the advantage of a) flying an airline I know well, out of airports I know well; b) the con hotel is also familiar; c) FRIENDS.

I think having friends who know/understand my *stuff* is my biggest coping mechanism. It provides a safe space when there is no safe space. I anticipate a need for a lot of hermiting time when I get back.

For now, though, Readers, I have a few hours before I have to start the day job and my coffee is fresh and hot. I think that means it’s time to write. Happy Friday!

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villains & vengeance & velocity

I’ve been battling migraines and all of their attendant baggage off and on for about two weeks. Only two days were really bad, but the up and down is exhausting.

Today the headache is only mild, but the nausea is yucky and my sinuses are cranky.

This is the start of my fourth week in the new day job, which I am enjoying. It’s a bigger company than my last few, but I get to learn new things, which makes me so very happy.

It is also October! I do love spooky season, which you know if you’ve been around here long (or not so long). I was supposed to be on vacation this week, but we postponed it out until we’re in a better place pandemic wise. My next opportunity for shenanigans is in just over two weeks, when I will be attending the Sirens Conference. I’m anxious, but excited.

I can not wait to see my Sirens family.

In case you didn’t know, I edit the anthology we publish to benefit the con, and this year’s anthology is available in both ebook and paperback. I also have a short story in the book. The profit from each book is donated to the Conference to help fund scholarships and/or defray the costs of putting the conference together. You can get your copy of Villains and Vengeance on Amazon.

We’re into that time of year when I can cuddle into fluffy hoodies and sweats, fuzzy socks and fingerless gloves in the morning, and strip down to shorts and a tank top by the evening…it’s also the time of year where time seems to excelerate.

Sure, this whole year has been something of a blur, but from now through January it always seems to enter warp speed.

And that’s pretty much my brain dump for you today, Readers. I hope the Monday treats you with kindness!

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sunshine and kindness

August is something of a transition month for me. When I lived in Upstate New York as a kid, it had this impending feeling of autumn, but with the heat and free spirit of summer. Corn of the cob and macaroni salads filled picnic tables, kids splashed about in Lake Ontario, and trees were just starting to show the kiss of color that autumn would bring.

Thoughts would turn to shopping for school clothes, the smell of leaves and fires, the anticipation for hay rides and haunted houses.

Of course, now that my life no longer rotates around the school calendar, August is the start of a string of birthdays/holidays that begins with my brother’s oldest child’s (who is no longer a child) birthday, mine, my mother’s, Halloween, Thanksgiving, my brother’s birthday, Christmas, New Year’s and then my brother’s youngest child’s birthday (she is no longer a child either).

Add in there a trip to Austin early in August most years for a birthday celebration of another kind, plus various conferences and vacations, and most years August is the start of time accelerating to race through it all.

I leave for Austin on Thursday (vaccinated and masked), but until then, I’m trying to hold back on the gallop and keep this thing slowed down a bit while I can. I’m writing a lot, and editing the Sirens Benefit Anthology, and even working at designing a cover for it.

Right now, I’m savoring my Death Wish Coffee and contemplating thinky things. I plan on filming some poetry videos while I’m in Austin, so stay tuned for that to happen.

And now, Readers, I’m off into my Sunday. May yours be filled with sunshine and kindness.

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the beauty in brevity

There is something I love about the freedom in a short story. There is no obligation to begin at the beginning, in fact it is sometimes more fun to jump in somewhere in the middle.

Short stories ask more skill of us authors, in some ways, than a full length novel. There is the challenge of brevity, which is a thing I often struggle with. If you have five thousand words to tell the tale, each of those words becomes important. Your characters need to be able to convey not just story, but personality and point of view quickly, but without making your reader feel rushed.

Often when I’m working on a short story, I throw words on the page to start, far more words than necessary and often imprecisely used. Then I use my first edit pass to tighten up the language, replace the imprecise with something more fitting. I boil down descriptions to the best words. I render ten words down to three or four.

All the while, I’m whittling away at not just the word count, but at the story itself, distilling it down to a more perfect form. Think of it as a block of stone. We know that there is a work of art inside of it, but we have to work to chip away the parts that obscure it.

There are a bunch of short stories on my hard drive in some state of doneness, some begun for a specific project, others just to get the words out of my head. Maybe I’ll consider an anthology of these works at some point, but for now, I am off to finish polishing and buffing one for this year’s Sirens anthology.

Happy Saturday, Readers! I hope the coffee is good, the sun is shining and your day is filled with kindness.

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words and witchery

This week I finished the zero draft of The Blood Witch!  It is currently in the hands of my first beta reader. No matter how many times I finish writing a book, it always comes with a thrill of accomplishment.

This book was born two years ago while at Sirens.  The main character, Thána Alizon, came to me fully whole.  I knew who she was, what her backstory was, and where the story would take her.  I wasn’t sure how we were going to get there, but that’s what the writing process is all about, getting from here to there.

Thána took a back seat for a while as I worked on another project, which got shelved last November when I decided to make The Blood Witch my nanowrimo project, just to see if I could get it up on its feet.

NANO was a success, pushing The Blood Witch to within spitting distance of the final climax and resolution.  December, however, when I wanted to be writing, there were a bazillion obligations and stresses that kept me from writing.  The same for January.  I guess the blessing in not working right now was that it afforded me the time to finish.  I wrote the last ten thousand words over the course of about two days.

Of course, writing a book is only the beginning.  The hard work comes after the last word is on the page.  There’s beta readers/critique partners who are the first to see the raw manuscript, a first edit pass, a second edit pass, then comes submission time, and this time around I plan on querying agents to try a more traditional publishing path, which I’ve never done, so I have no idea how long that will take.

Once the agent sells the book to a publisher, there’s another round or two of edits, cover design, etc.  It can take a year to go from purchased manuscript to a book out in the wilds.  The road is long, and the pay isn’t great, if you get paid at all, unless you manage to hit it big.

But, the satisfaction in finishing that zero draft is still there, even if it never sells.

Happy Thursday, Readers.  I’m out of coffee, so I guess that means it’s time to get some stuff done on the job hunting front.

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leaving on a jet plane

Finishing up the packing for my trip tomorrow and trying to resist the urge to pack every Star Wars t-shirt I own.  After my bit of a buying spree lately, that’s a LOT of t-shirts.  I think I could get through most of a month without having to wash anything…and I still have a few coming.

My obsession has gotten a little bit out of control of late.

Yesterday I had my ME day in preparation of the trip…got my mani/pedi, got my hair cut and dyed…bought new clothes that I didn’t actually NEED.

But I found a denim jacket that will be PERFECT for my Star Wars patches/pins.  Did I mention my obsession?  LOL.

I’ll try to remember to post all about the early part of the conference on Wednesday.  And tell you all about any MUST HAVE books I stumble across.  There’s always a few dozen…or more.

In the meantime, I’m off to heat up more water for some more Death Wish coffee to help power me through this early Sunday morning.  Y’all be kind and have a beautiful day!

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reading, writing and resumes

Oops, I haven’t posted in a while!  Sorry about that.  I don’t even have a good excuse!  Life has been busy, but that’s almost always true.  So, what’s been happening?  Well, next week is Sirens is happening next week and our benefit anthology is out now!

heroes and hellions cover

Heroes and Hellions is a collection of short stories and poetry that explores what it is to be a hero and where the line blurs.

Your purchase goes to support the Sirens conference.  If you appreciate some badass speculative fiction from some badass folks you should pick it up.

In other news, I got email recently from someone who will be recording my first novel, Forever!  Audio book incoming, for all of you Readers who have been asking.

I’m hoping that I’ll be able to get back into a writing habit with the conference next week.  I think I’ve been a bit stymied because I have too many stories in my head competing for attention.

 

Aside from all of that, and bouncing between three different novels in progress, I’m still sending out resumes, looking for that company who needs me and all I have to offer.  For now, I’m slugging my way through a contract position that is not my favorite, but is paying the bills.

Speaking of which, I should get to it.  Lots of editing to do!  And my coffee is getting cold.  Happy Wednesday, Readers.  Go out and be recklessly kind!

 

Photo by João Silas on Unsplash