Tag: covid19

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covid sucks

A week ago, several days after returning from Star Wars Celebration, I tested positive for Covid. I’m still not fully well.

I was sick for days before testing positive. There were four negative tests before the positive one. The first few days I felt like I was coming down with a cold. My temperature never went above 99.8, but I was very congested and felt like I could fall asleep at the drop of a hat.

Friday night, after having a miserable day, I tested positive. I still felt like I had a bad cold, with the added fatigue. I had a sore throat, ear aches, and nasal congestion. It seemed like each day a new symptom came up. I slept a lot. On Wednesday, the headache arrived…and it hasn’t left. That’s when the cough started up too. It has not been a bad cough, and I’m only breathless if I do stuff like climb the stairs.

I think Thursday was the worst day for it, and I ended up sleeping or laying down a good chunk of the day.

Now, mind you, I have had both vaccines and two boosters, and I wore my mask pretty much any time I was inside in public unless I was eating or having my picture taken.

I can’t imagine how bad this would be if I wasn’t vaccinated. With my comorbidities, I’d likely be in the hospital.

I’m planning on taking today easy, though I need to do laundry, with the hope that tomorrow I’ll be in better shape.

Photo by Medakit Ltd on Unsplash

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a reminder that freedom isn’t free

In the last two years, we’ve heard a lot of people yelling about their freedom and comparing masks and vaccines to nazi Germany. This week, we have had a glaring example of how absurd that actually is.

While the US and Canada are mired under protests about mandates designed to protect the public health, Ukrainians have had to step up to fight for their actual freedom…the freedom to live under their democratically elected government. They have been forced to flee or take up arms against a country so much larger than their own who seems intent on annihilating them.

I see people in the US declaring that this is why we need AK rifles to be available to everyone, completely missing the fact that a) we aren’t at war and b) we are not imminently under the threat of invasion. The Ukrainian government armed its people to defend themselves against Russia.

Automatic weapons have no place outside of war. They have no purpose other than to kill.

We are watching a nation stand up and fight back under nearly hopeless odds. The ingenuity and strength of the Ukrainian people are an inspiration. And still, here at home, we have people whining that being told to put a piece of cloth over their face to protect others is a violation of their “freedom”…and many of them are the same people who are saying that they would defend their neighbors with their guns if the need arose.

And they can not see the irony there.

Freedom isn’t free. It is predicated on a number of principles, including the idea that we must protect our citizens, even from ourselves, especially in a time of crisis.

I hear that the Ukrainians are open to volunteer militias coming to aid them. Maybe some of our right-wing militias should head over, prove they’re actually willing to do the work of defending the freedom that they keep declaring. But, if you’re going, make sure you’re not carrying a deadly virus with you so you don’t kill those you are there to defend.

Meanwhile, I’ll keep my mask on in public to protect those here at home from the same.

I hope your Sunday is filled with kindness and joy, dearest Readers, and that peace comes sooner, rather than later.

Photo by Eugene on Unsplash

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travel in the time of COVID

One week from today, I will be in Denver, CO for a convention unlike most others I have ever attended. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t anxious about the travel and the collection of people in small rooms. Sure, I’ll double mask on the plane and the con has good COVID practices in place (everyone must be vaxxed and have a negative COVID test for starters), but my only experience with “crowds” was in August this year, and there were only twelve of us.

I considered not going. Several times. However, Sirens is a place that feeds my soul, and if I’m honest, my soul has been sorely in need of feeding.

Sirens is a place where we get to explore the world of speculative fiction (sci-fi, horror, fantasy, etc) through the lens of voices that are not considered “traditional” in that space. By which, I mean: women, BIPOC, LGBTQ+, etc. (Reminder that this year’s anthology, “Villains and Vengeance” is available now!)

It’s part reader’s conference, part writer’s retreat and part networking weekend. This will be my third time at Sirens.

Of course my COVID anxiety is only just part of my anxiety, because there is also the uncertainty of travel, particularly since I am flying Southwest, and my agoraphobia, which has only gotten worse since the start of COVID. I have the advantage of a) flying an airline I know well, out of airports I know well; b) the con hotel is also familiar; c) FRIENDS.

I think having friends who know/understand my *stuff* is my biggest coping mechanism. It provides a safe space when there is no safe space. I anticipate a need for a lot of hermiting time when I get back.

For now, though, Readers, I have a few hours before I have to start the day job and my coffee is fresh and hot. I think that means it’s time to write. Happy Friday!

Photo by Eva Darron on Unsplash

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be the good

As I’ve been job hunting these last few weeks, I’ve made a point to look into companies that are doing the kind of work that benefits humanity. Being a tech writer with the ability to explore many different kinds of tech is a wonderful way to learn about new and innovative ways that people are trying to help, from climate change to using drones to deliver life saving medical supplies in times of need.

Sure, it is more likely I’ll end up at a more mundane sort of company that deals with data of some kind or advertising/product tech or the like because that is where my experience is, but exploring other options has been interesting.

Particularly in the world we occupy today. The news is filled with sad and angry situations, fueling the feelings of hopelessness and loneliness in many people. It can be hard to see that there are people out there working for the greater good of all.

I’ve always believed that to change the world we must change ourselves and how we interact with the world, and I still do, however sometimes we need something bigger than what we can do on our own. We need innovations that help us become better, not on an individual level, but as a society.

There is a lot of scary stuff happening in the world, but don’t let it bog you down in despair. Find the good and support it if you can. Be the good if you can’t find it.

The picture is from my recent trip to Austin. It reminds me of the beauty that exists, even in the heart of a bustling city, in a place bogged down by disease. Find that beauty today and hold on to it.

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travel in the time of covid

On Thursday, I got on a plane for the first time in almost 2 years. I flew from Oakland to Austin on Southwest. To accomplish this, I had to walk a half mile to the BART station, take two BART trains to get to the airport, check in, get through security, get on a plane, land in Austin, retrieve my checked luggage, get in a Lyft to the airport, and check in at the hotel, all while wearing my mask.

It may have been the longest period of continual mask wearing for me since this whole thing began. On the plane itself I was double masked.

I had no trouble breathing or getting enough oxygen. I did sweat a fair amount under my mask, especially when getting out into the muggy Austin air.

I saw no one behaving badly, though there were often people who needed to be reminded to cover their nose. No fights, no temper tantrums, no screams of FREEDOM!

I knew that everyone I planned to spend un-masked time with was vaccinated, and whenever in more company than theirs, I masked up. Was it weird and inconvenient? Yes, it was, but you know what else would have been weird and inconvenient? Getting sick, or getting someone else sick.

We still had a great time. We got to cruise the river with dinner and music. We went axe throwing and took a tour of a brewery (the cooler is always the best part, because Austin is hot and muggy).

I even ate inside a restaurant. For the first time since this whole thing started.

I reveled in being with friends I haven’t seen in two years. I hugged people. I relaxed. I did my best not to worry, despite the fact that the day I landed, Austin moved into Stage 5, and I was in a state that would NOT issue a mask mandate. Everywhere we went, business had signs up asking folks to wear masks if not vaccinated and I’d estimate that about half of the people I saw didn’t mask up at all.

I got home last night and my current plan is to quarantine myself for 14 days, as well as to go get a Covid test this week because as careful as we were, this delta variant is a sneaky bastard, and I want to make sure I’m not passing it around my neighborhood.

Hope y’all are safe and healthy, Readers! Now I have to get back to the job search.

Photo by Wolfgang Fürstenhöfer on Unsplash

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bring on the hugs

If you have been reading my blog for any amount of time, you’ll know that I’m an agoraphobe. I was even BEFORE this pandemic. I’m most comfortable and happy within my own home, and in spaces that I am intimately familiar with (family homes, friends places, etc). In particular, I need to control the number of people in any given space.

This makes this whole idea of re-entering “normal” rather problematic for me. This year and a half being encouraged to stay home to stay safe has escalated certain anxieties for me. The rise of this Delta variant isn’t helping.

In a week, I’m getting on a plane for the first time in close to two years and I’m flying to Austin, Texas to spend time with some friends.

There’s a lot to be excited about. There’s also a lot to be worried about.

I know the people I’ll be with are vaccinated. I know a good chunk of our time we will be in well ventilated or open areas. But there’s the BART to the airport, the airport, the plane, the other airport, transportation to the hotel, the hotel…etc…

I’m trying to balance that against getting to see friends, getting to meet up with coworkers and live music for the first time in a lifetime.

I have Xanax on hand. I have presents to deliver. And I can not wait for the music.

And hugs. I can’t believe how much I miss hugs.

Photo by Vitolda Klein on Unsplash

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injecting a little hope

This morning at 8:30 I will be getting a little shot in the arm. It will be my first dose of the covid vaccine. I’ll be honest, if I let myself, I have a little hope blooming inside me that I might actually be able to travel this year.

My current plans are still out a ways, in August and October, which is part of why I’m starting to believe they might actually happen. If we keep vaccinating at our current pace, we might be at a point where I feel safe enough to travel by the August date.

That trip is a small group of people, which makes it feel even safer, especially if I know everyone has gotten their vaccines. Likewise, my plans in early October involve a very small group, a house near a beach and a lot of quiet.

But later in October is Sirens. I had a lot of concerns when I first went to Sirens, and I was surprised how quickly those folks became important people in my life. I’m starting to let myself hope that we will make it this year, and I am so looking forward to hugging some folks.

When this agoraphobic introvert who isn’t big on being touched wants hugs, you know it’s been a while since hugging was a thing we could do.

Happy Thursday, Readers. Keep your masks on and get your vaccine when you can.

Photo by Sara Kurfeß on Unsplash

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where hope grows

I grew up in Upstate New York, where the very first signs that spring was on the horizon were the daffodils that poked intrepid little heads up through the snows that wouldn’t yet melt for a few weeks (or more). For the longest time, daffodils were my favorite flowers because of that, and they still hold a special place in my heart.

When you’re still in the depths of the cold hard embrace of an Upstate New York winter, after the fun of snow has become the drudgery of slush that has frozen over and cold toes that don’t seem to ever get warm, that first little hope of spring is a most welcome thing

It seems we are facing much the same feeling with this pandemic right now. We are all so done with sitting at our windows, looking out on a world that is filled with hidden dangers, and we just want to be able to go to the movies, and out for coffee with friends.

Vaccines offer us that first hint of hope that our year-long winter of disease is coming to a close, but just like those first daffodils herald a spring that may still be a long ways off, so too does the promise of immunity come with a caveat. Many a blizzard has buried those first daffodils, reprimanding them for sticking their heads up too soon. Returning to our normal lives too soon will bring with it another blizzard of Covid-19 to swat us down and set back our recovery.

Hope grows where vaccines are planted, but immunity takes some time to blossom. So, as we turn the wheel of the year toward Imbolc, let us hope, but remain vigilant.

Happy February, Readers! May it be filled with love and kindness.

Photo by Charles Tyler on Unsplash

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kill it with fire

I don’t know about you, but this entire year has been ten years long and filled with awfulness, from people proving that we’ve become a selfish, greedy nation that doesn’t care about the less fortunate to the government abdicating its duty to take care of its people to the actual pandemic that has killed nearly 350,000 of us, and I am ready to put it behind me.

That isn’t to say that some good stuff hasn’t happened this year. It has and with luck it will produce some good news for me to share soon. However, being a Pagan who does on occasion still pull out the big box o’ritual, and who really, really wants to make sure that the bad of 2020 stays IN 2020 and doesn’t follow us onward, I plan to kill it with fire before midnight on December 31st. How, you ask?

Well, I’ve put together two rituals for folks who might also like to kill it with fire or maybe bind it, stick it and stone it to death. I’ve written them in a way that almost anyone can participate and adapt it to their beliefs/practices.

While I tend to do my new year ritual at Samhain, this year calls for some special handling, I think. I’ve even saved some firewood for this. I’m gonna get the fire pit going and I’m going to see this thing through to the end.

Here’s to a better year to come, Readers. May it bring with it kindness, compassion and a little cleansing fire.

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all I want for Christmas

I live a pretty charmed life. I have everything I need. I have most things I want. Like everyone, I struggle a little from time to time, but it always works itself out. Even in this year of darkness.

I won’t lie, things are pretty dark in this country right now. We have an administration refusing to believe reality and a virus just decimating our population. We have yet to see the full fallout of Thanksgiving gatherings, and Christmas is just around the corner. There will no doubt be yet another surge two weeks after that, because people will gather and we’re all tired of not having people we can touch and hug and be with.

Despite all that, I can’t complain about much.

I always have trouble answering the question, “What do you want for Christmas?”

Sure, there are material things I want: I need a new office chair, I’d like an air fryer…here lately more pajama/sweat pants are a good option.

Those are just things though. What I really want for Christmas are not things that anyone can buy online. I want you and your loved ones to be safe and healthy. I want a peaceful transition in the White House. I want the corona virus vaccine to be as effective as they are telling us it is and for it to be available to all. I want people to stop being assholes and care enough about others to wear masks, and stay home. I want the new year to bring with it good things.

Oh, yeah, and a book contract would be nice too.

Cover Photo by Arseny Togulev on Unsplash