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sleigh bells and rudolph

I am one of those people who generally dislike Christmas music. There are a number of reasons. The first big one is that there are so few new Christmas songs, so we get inundated with the same ten or so songs in multiple variations. Do we really need every single recording artist to record Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer?

Then there’s the fact that everywhere you go, you get slammed with that music non-stop. Gone are the contemporary songs that stores usually play. I probably would like Christmas music better if it was one song out of five, rather than wall to wall Drummer Boy and Frosty the Snowman.

Of course, the fact that so much of the traditional Christmas music is based in a religion I left decades ago. Nothing against those songs per se, just not my thing, you know?

There’s also my disdain for false cheer, forced happy endings and the like. It’s one of the reasons I don’t watch Christmas movies too. Or romance. My music tastes are varied and wide, but my comfort music is generally dark and loud. There’s a reason I clean house to stuff from artists like Halestorm, Dorothy, Flogging Molly, etc.

Today is the day that my disdain starts to dissipate though. Starting on Christmas Eve, I am much more amenable to the stuff. I may even turn on some alternative stuff today while I’m packing or cleaning. We’ll see.

And tomorrow I have no problems with it, at least in small doses. As long as it is background noise, and not taking over the whole affair. But I feel that way about most music, if I’m spending time with others. Alone, I crank it up though. In other words, it’s almost time to be Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree.

Whatever you celebrate, whatever you believe, whoever you love, I am sending you all my love this holiday season, Readers. Give yourself a hug from me.

Photo by Norman Tsui on Unsplash

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bring on the hugs

If you have been reading my blog for any amount of time, you’ll know that I’m an agoraphobe. I was even BEFORE this pandemic. I’m most comfortable and happy within my own home, and in spaces that I am intimately familiar with (family homes, friends places, etc). In particular, I need to control the number of people in any given space.

This makes this whole idea of re-entering “normal” rather problematic for me. This year and a half being encouraged to stay home to stay safe has escalated certain anxieties for me. The rise of this Delta variant isn’t helping.

In a week, I’m getting on a plane for the first time in close to two years and I’m flying to Austin, Texas to spend time with some friends.

There’s a lot to be excited about. There’s also a lot to be worried about.

I know the people I’ll be with are vaccinated. I know a good chunk of our time we will be in well ventilated or open areas. But there’s the BART to the airport, the airport, the plane, the other airport, transportation to the hotel, the hotel…etc…

I’m trying to balance that against getting to see friends, getting to meet up with coworkers and live music for the first time in a lifetime.

I have Xanax on hand. I have presents to deliver. And I can not wait for the music.

And hugs. I can’t believe how much I miss hugs.

Photo by Vitolda Klein on Unsplash

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injecting a little hope

This morning at 8:30 I will be getting a little shot in the arm. It will be my first dose of the covid vaccine. I’ll be honest, if I let myself, I have a little hope blooming inside me that I might actually be able to travel this year.

My current plans are still out a ways, in August and October, which is part of why I’m starting to believe they might actually happen. If we keep vaccinating at our current pace, we might be at a point where I feel safe enough to travel by the August date.

That trip is a small group of people, which makes it feel even safer, especially if I know everyone has gotten their vaccines. Likewise, my plans in early October involve a very small group, a house near a beach and a lot of quiet.

But later in October is Sirens. I had a lot of concerns when I first went to Sirens, and I was surprised how quickly those folks became important people in my life. I’m starting to let myself hope that we will make it this year, and I am so looking forward to hugging some folks.

When this agoraphobic introvert who isn’t big on being touched wants hugs, you know it’s been a while since hugging was a thing we could do.

Happy Thursday, Readers. Keep your masks on and get your vaccine when you can.

Photo by Sara Kurfeß on Unsplash