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injecting a little hope

This morning at 8:30 I will be getting a little shot in the arm. It will be my first dose of the covid vaccine. I’ll be honest, if I let myself, I have a little hope blooming inside me that I might actually be able to travel this year.

My current plans are still out a ways, in August and October, which is part of why I’m starting to believe they might actually happen. If we keep vaccinating at our current pace, we might be at a point where I feel safe enough to travel by the August date.

That trip is a small group of people, which makes it feel even safer, especially if I know everyone has gotten their vaccines. Likewise, my plans in early October involve a very small group, a house near a beach and a lot of quiet.

But later in October is Sirens. I had a lot of concerns when I first went to Sirens, and I was surprised how quickly those folks became important people in my life. I’m starting to let myself hope that we will make it this year, and I am so looking forward to hugging some folks.

When this agoraphobic introvert who isn’t big on being touched wants hugs, you know it’s been a while since hugging was a thing we could do.

Happy Thursday, Readers. Keep your masks on and get your vaccine when you can.

Photo by Sara Kurfeß on Unsplash

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all I want for Christmas

I live a pretty charmed life. I have everything I need. I have most things I want. Like everyone, I struggle a little from time to time, but it always works itself out. Even in this year of darkness.

I won’t lie, things are pretty dark in this country right now. We have an administration refusing to believe reality and a virus just decimating our population. We have yet to see the full fallout of Thanksgiving gatherings, and Christmas is just around the corner. There will no doubt be yet another surge two weeks after that, because people will gather and we’re all tired of not having people we can touch and hug and be with.

Despite all that, I can’t complain about much.

I always have trouble answering the question, “What do you want for Christmas?”

Sure, there are material things I want: I need a new office chair, I’d like an air fryer…here lately more pajama/sweat pants are a good option.

Those are just things though. What I really want for Christmas are not things that anyone can buy online. I want you and your loved ones to be safe and healthy. I want a peaceful transition in the White House. I want the corona virus vaccine to be as effective as they are telling us it is and for it to be available to all. I want people to stop being assholes and care enough about others to wear masks, and stay home. I want the new year to bring with it good things.

Oh, yeah, and a book contract would be nice too.

Cover Photo by Arseny Togulev on Unsplash

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stitching it together

I spent my weekend split between writing and watching whatever random thing caught my attention on Netflix/Prime/Disney/Hulu while crocheting. I’ve had trouble finding a pattern I liked for a sweater I want to make, so I’m embarking on the path of creating one. Not sure how that’s gonna work, but I’m giving it a go.

In what I was watching…Saturday was an afternoon of movies on Netflix. I enjoyed “What Happened to Monday” which is a near future sci-fi sort of thing involving a world where the law dictates one child per family and a set of identical septuplets. I also watched a biopic on Helen Reddy. Like I said, it was all very random.

Yesterday though I indulged in a marathon of “Whitechapel” which was a British cop show a few years back.

I needed the break from the onslaught of news.

My usual outlet for finding my center on the dark days used to be helping others, usually with buying breakfast for some homeless folks or giving away stuff I’ve made, but since I’m not leaving the house, that path is not open to me. I think maybe that’s part of what has made this time so dark for me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still giving, it’s just at a distance these days which kind of minimizes the internal reaction I get from a stranger’s smile or from talking with someone who most people ignore.

Creating is what is getting me through though, whether I’m crafting with words or with yarn or with paints and oil pastels. It also helps to have work during the week. It gives me focus.

Right now I need to focus on getting coffee and breakfast into me before my first conference call of the day. Happy Monday, Readers! Lets make it the best we can in these circumstances. Stay home if you can. Wear your mask. Wash your hands. Keep your distance. Be kind.

Cover Photo by Olliss on Unsplash

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in numbers too big to ignore

As we barrel on toward the holiday season, the coronavirus is barreling through our country with no sign of stopping. Each day this week we have seen new records for the number of new cases. Yesterday alone we had over a hundred and eighty thousand new cases, and we sit at a total of two hundred forty nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety eight deaths in the US as of the time I am writing this.

Two deaths away from a quarter of a million deaths.

That number is unfathomable.

That is the population of Boise, Idaho. Or Winston-Salem, North Carolina. That is more than the population of Rochester, New York. More than twice the population of Vacaville, California.

And still we have people saying that this thing is a hoax, or it’s no worse than the regular seasonal flu. Still we have people demanding that we open restaurants and bars, that we send our kids back to school.

With Thanksgiving around the corner, we’ll still see people gathering. With Christmas and other winter holidays a little more than a month away, we see people shopping, handling things others have handled, and more gathering.

I get that we’re all tired of the restrictions. I get that we’re bored and we miss hugs. We miss our people. I get that we need to be working and we need to kick our economy into something that resembles functional.

But what good is any of it if our people aren’t there when this is over?

Please take care, Readers! Wash your hands, wear your mask, stay home. Save a life.

Cover Photo by Mika Baumeister on Unsplash

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a flower for your friday

This week has been an odd one. Yesterday did not feel like Thursday, in fact at one point I thought it was only Tuesday. On the other hand, I’ve gotten a lot done, and this morning I was half convinced it was Saturday when my alarm went off.

Here in California we are locked back down due to the surge of covid-19. For the most part it doesn’t bother me. I had hoped the virus would be controlled enough to go to Austin at the beginning of August and Disneyland at the end of August, but both of those things are not happening.

And boy-howdy do I need some attention to my hair! I had an appointment next week with my amazing hair person, but salons are among the places shut down again.

Work has been busy, and will continue to be for the next little while. But, I’m learning Markdown as I work along, which is a cool thing. You know how much I love learning new things!

Speaking of work, I should get on that. (Title and image have nothing to do with this post). My coffee’s getting cold. Happy Friday, Readers!

Cover Photo by Jordan Newsom on Unsplash

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safe, loved and informed

The days blur, one into another, just as much now that I have a lot of work to do as they did when I had none. They all begin the same, up at five am…ish, coffee and a brief read through of social media, then laptop booted up. That is where I stay for between ten and fourteen hours of my day, well, I do switch between laptops, depending on which work I have to work on, but pretty much it’s all the same.

I have to say, I am so tired y’all. It isn’t the work. I’m grateful to have something to do. I’m just tired. World-weary is a good phrase for it. This world right now is exhausting, and no amount of sleep is going to fix it.

Maybe we’ve been sleeping too long and it’s time to wake up.

I’ve been watching a lot of documentaries about American history this week while I work. I’ve been very focused on the American Revolution and the Civil War. I’ve learned about a lot of people and battles I had never heard of before. Our history has been so whitewashed here in the US.

Add in some documentaries about black and brown folks, produced by black and brown folks, and I’m just so tired of this world. I can’t imagine how much worse it is for those not born to the privilege of this white skin that encases me.

We need to do better, people. We need to be better.

And as we barrel forward into the uncertainty of this virus infested world, with cases spiking, and deaths to certainly follow, we need to be kind. We need to be informed. We need to vow to care not only for ourselves, but for our fellow human beings. We need to demand the government do the same.

Hoping that you are safe, loved and informed, Readers. Safe, loved and informed.

Cover Photo by Abbie Bernet on Unsplash

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just promise me no zombies

With allergy season in full swing here in Northern California, it can be hard to convince folks that I’m not “sick” and that it is “just allergies”. My eyes are constantly itching and watering. I’m so congested and my sinuses so swollen that my face is puffy. And to make the whole trifecta, there is the asthma reaction to trying to do almost anything when my hayfever is like this. That means a dry, hacky cough.

Want to guess who gets ALL of the dirty looks when I venture beyond my driveway?

Granted, I’m not venturing much or far. I’ve done most of my grocery shopping by delivery, making the most of Safeway’s two hour windows. There are some things you can’t get delivered though…or at least, not at a price I’m willing to pay.

And I am willing to pay for the convenience of delivery most of the time. I just try to do it without it costing a fortune, and I try to avoid the apps, and rely on stores that do their own delivery.

But, when the prescriptions are ready, I need to venture out, and I try to use the occasion to pick up those things that I can’t get on order…the stuff you just “luck” across, like the yeast I found in the bakery section last week when I had to be in Safeway to pick up a prescription.

I’ve also turned to bartering. I scored some bread flour from a neighbor, and some ginger from another neighbor this week. Traded a bottle of olive oil for the flour, and some garlic for the ginger. All with proper social distancing…drop the item on the porch, retreat to road…they make the swap, and once inside, I go back up to the porch and retrieve my item.

Right now there is bread dough in my fridge getting all ready to go into the oven later today. I’m using this super simple, 4 ingredient, no kneading recipe for a rustic sort of artisan loaf. I’m going to trade it for a bottle of wine from my sister-in-law.

I’m not going to lie, I’m kind of terrified of what is to come. We’re opening ourselves back up way too quickly and if “they” think the economy was hurting due to people staying home, imagine how much more it’s going to hurt when more and more people are dead or dying?

We aren’t going to have to wait for a second wave in the fall. So, if this is the start of the apocalypse, best dust off those gardening and bartering skills now.

I only hope that we don’t see mutations in the virus, or this and that virus coming together to form an even deadlier one…or give us zombies. I can manage everything but zombies.

Happy Friday, Readers. Be kind to one another. Be kind to yourself.

Cover Photo by Dark Labs on Unsplash

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keep your hands to yourself

It’s a scary time out there, Readers, and I hope that you are all alright and taking good care of yourselves and your family.  As someone with a mother in her 70s with compromised lungs who lives with people in the service industry, it’s kind of terrifying.

Everyday I worry that my brother or his family will bring this virus home and not even be aware of it, but I know my mother is sensible, and I know that she’s washing her hands and using sanitizer, and I know the family is doing everything they can to help keep her safe.

I know that for people in the service industry, this crisis has to be terrifying as well, not just the idea that they might get sick, but that they might lose income from cut shifts, lose their jobs if they get sick and have to self-isolate for two weeks or more, and with those loses comes loss of housing and an inability to pay bills.

So far, our response to this virus has not inspired confidence in either our national safety nets or our healthcare system.  We appear to have no real plan in place to deal with this kind of swiftly migrating illness, and that in and of itself allows the virus to continue to multiply.

We need to protect our most vulnerable.  We need to demand national sick leave from all employers.  And if you can, stay home. Keep your kids home.  Find fun things to do as a family.

Even my employment search is being impacted.  What would have been an in-person interview next week is now a Skype interview.  Most of the companies that I am mid-interview process with are on mandatory work from home orders.  I guess that means I don’t have to worry about appearing rude if I don’t shake hands.

I’ve never been a germaphobe before, but I’m starting to see the wisdom in keeping my hands to myself.  I hope you are all taking care of yourselves too, and wish a thousand acts of kindness for you all.

I’m off to make more coffee, and find out what my cats just knocked off a table in the living room.

 

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash