Wow, I didn’t mean to go AWOL on y’all. The last few weeks have been crazy busy and filled with the kind of things no one wants to have to deal with. From my father’s death on the 17th of October through his Celebration of Life and on into figuring out what comes next, my mind has been occupied with all the steps I needed to take to help my stepmother and sort out the things my father left behind.
It’s strange, how much work it takes to wrap up a life, even one who was as meticulous about things as my father was. He set up a living trust, had reams of paperwork on his estate planning, yet there were a lot of weird things we need to sort.
One of those is their credit cards. Every single one is in both of their names, but only his SSN is associated, thus as soon as we report his death, my stepmother ends up without them and has to apply for her own, but because she really doesn’t have a large credit history, that ends up being less easy than it should be.
He left no *will* that spells out what to do with the little things, even though the living trust has room for that, and his only life insurance policy that we could find was for $1000.
Complicating matters is the fact that they live in Tucson, and I’m in California, as well as my stepmother’s advancing dementia. She recently got very, very lost, to the tune of 3 hours away from home, and I’m not sure what would have happened if I hadn’t called her while she was trying to get home.
So, I am headed back to Tucson in a week, hopefully to get her set up with some in-home health care, some meal delivery, and start the conversation about a more permanent solution. With any luck, that gets us safely through the end of the year, and we can start considering what comes next.
Whatever normal is, this isn’t it.
Hopefully, I’m on the right road to find it. Happy Monday, Readers! Be kind, be gracious and love one another (and while you’re at it make a will, add beneficiaries to your accounts, let your wishes be known).
Photo by Perfectus Photography & Design Co. on Unsplash
1 comments on “finding the new normal”
Natalie J Case
This is a good summary of your last month or so. I can attest to that.
Let it be known that I back you on all you have done and am here (east coast) to support you in any way I can.
One step at a time will bring this to the conclusion. In the meantime, continue with your level-headed direction. Your stepmother is a big concern for me.
And YES, it may not be a fun thing to talk about but discuss what needs to be done when you pass. Start the conversation! Oh, so many topics! Go, do it. The person(s) you leave behind will be thankful for your forethought.
You are in my thoughts and prayers!