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finding my happy place

It’s been a hell of a year. I’ve struggled, I’ve persevered, I’ve almost given up. I’ve had my feet knocked out from under me, I’ve accomplished some amazing things, I’ve lost people I loved.

While I have worked at keeping my head up and my eyes on the horizon, it hasn’t been easy, and that’s saying something coming off of two years of lockdown. One of the great joys of my life has been denied to me through the pandemic, the joy of live music and photography.

I’ve been to a few gigs, but not nearly as many as I usually attend in a year, even if you add up all of 2020, 2021, and 2022!

So, it gives me great pleasure (and great anxiety) to be heading off to Nashville today to see the band Radio Company perform in their first public gig.

The show is tomorrow night, and I’m boarding a plane tonight at around 11:15pm, hopefully, to sleep my way across the country. With a brief layover in DC, I’ll arrive in Nashville somewhere around 10am, get an Uber to the hotel, and see if I can manage an early check-in.

I’m mostly solo this trip, though I know a few of the folks who will be at the gig. This is something that’s added to my anxiety. I don’t have my usual friend bubble to protect me when things get…tight. I do, however, have Xanax, so I should be okay.

I’m mostly packed, other than clothes, because I’m still deciding on clothes. I’m leaning toward a dress, boots, and stylish hat. Since I’m turning around and flying home on Tuesday afternoon, so I don’t need to bring much more, as I can wear the same clothes I travel to Nashville home from Nashville.

I have a little time to do some wandering around and souvenir/Christmas shop, but not a lot.

I’m just hoping to disconnect myself from the stress and emotional turmoil of the year and immerse myself in music and doing what I love.

I hope y’all have some fun planned for yourself during this season of much ado. And I hope your holidays are marvelous, dearest Readers.

Photo by Magnus Lunay on Unsplash

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bring on the hugs

If you have been reading my blog for any amount of time, you’ll know that I’m an agoraphobe. I was even BEFORE this pandemic. I’m most comfortable and happy within my own home, and in spaces that I am intimately familiar with (family homes, friends places, etc). In particular, I need to control the number of people in any given space.

This makes this whole idea of re-entering “normal” rather problematic for me. This year and a half being encouraged to stay home to stay safe has escalated certain anxieties for me. The rise of this Delta variant isn’t helping.

In a week, I’m getting on a plane for the first time in close to two years and I’m flying to Austin, Texas to spend time with some friends.

There’s a lot to be excited about. There’s also a lot to be worried about.

I know the people I’ll be with are vaccinated. I know a good chunk of our time we will be in well ventilated or open areas. But there’s the BART to the airport, the airport, the plane, the other airport, transportation to the hotel, the hotel…etc…

I’m trying to balance that against getting to see friends, getting to meet up with coworkers and live music for the first time in a lifetime.

I have Xanax on hand. I have presents to deliver. And I can not wait for the music.

And hugs. I can’t believe how much I miss hugs.

Photo by Vitolda Klein on Unsplash