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of confidence and validation

I don’t know that I can pinpoint an exact catalyst for becoming a writer. It seems that I’ve been creating and telling stories my whole life. I do know that the idea that I could write actual books with my name on the covers came in my teens.

It didn’t start with books, obviously. First came poetry. Oh my, was it some terrible poetry! It was trite and sappy or it was trite and dark. I guess it was the primary outlet of my teenage angst.

From there, I dipped my toe into the ocean of short story writing. I was at least marginally better at that, as it was essentially what I’d already been doing without actually writing stuff down.

It was inevitable, however, that I would turn to full length novels. I wrote my first one longhand on notebook pages. It was awful. It was derivative of every movie I had ever seen and every book I had ever read and I tried to cram so very much plot into it that there were inevitably huge holes and forgotten lines. My characters were either stereotypes or wooden.

Still, this is the book that bit me. I let friends read it, and, friends being friends, they all loved it and clamored for more. It was my freshman year of high school, and my notebooks and pages got handed around school.

I got my first typewriter for Christmas that year. I banged away at that thing every single day for hours at a time. First, I typed up that first book. Then I got started on a sequel. During my sophomore year of high school, I would type up around ten pages or so each night. Those pages got clipped together and numbered, because in the morning I was passing the “chapters” around to those who were reading it, and I gathered them back together again at the end of the day.

It was my first real taste of what it was like to write for an audience. I still have some of those stories around here somewhere. That second was still awful, but it was awful in completely different ways than the first, so that was progress I suppose.

Today I’m still fairly sure some of my writing is awful and I struggle with imposter syndrome a great deal (as I’m sure all writers do at some point), but I try to hold onto the confidence of that teenager, handing out pages to her peers in search of any scrap of validation and the confirmation that this is what I was meant to be.

Happy Friday, Readers! I hope you have a grand weekend.

Photo by Roman Kraft on Unsplash

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the writing part of writing

Being an author is an odd sort of thing, I suppose, especially to those who are not *people who write* and especially not for those who also do not read. I was a voracious reader as a child. I absorbed words like a sponge. Stories were vehicles that transported me out of my bedroom and into worlds larger than any one mind can conceive.

Maybe it was inevitable that I would pick up a pen and start writing. I wanted in on that magic! I loved creating new worlds, new characters. I wrote science fiction, fantasy, and poetry. I tried my hand at mystery and romance. I studied and tried to emulate my favorite authors. I wanted my prose to be lush and invigorating. I wanted the worlds in my stories to come to life.

For that to happen, I learned, the author needs to spend a good amount of time prior to words hitting the paper. There is world building to do. There are characters to build out so that they are realistic and not just cardboard cut outs. There is plot to invent, stretch, turn, twist and resolve. Inevitably, that plot has holes that need to be filled.

And all of that comes either before or during the actual writing part of the writing process. Okay, sometimes after the first draft is done.

I can spend months (or longer) doing all the stuff that happens in my head before I start writing. My muse loves world building more than anything, so the worlds I see in my head are amazing landscapes of complex societies that I can only hope I capture as I begin to write.

This last weekend saw over ten thousand new words in the second Blood Witch book, signaling an end of the mental block 2020 clamped on my muse and ushering in the period where the words begin to spill from my fingers. It’s the part of the writing process that wants to just devour my life. The story spins out in my head faster than my fingers can translate it to the page, and I am best able in this phase to tune out my inner editor and just get it down.

I maybe feel the most like myself when I’m doing the writing part of writing. Unfortunately for me, today is Monday…and that means a return to the day job, so more word craft will need to wait, though I am hoping to get through this scene before I open the work computer.

I hope you are safe and sane, Readers, and that your week is filled with magic and kindness.

Cover Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

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build me a world and let me play

The Blood Witch is off with my first agent query, as of last week. I’m nervous and terrified and very excited. I am so very pleased with this book and these characters and I can only hope that someone out there likes the story enough to represent me and get me a good book deal.

I had intended to take some time to work on other projects, but Thána doesn’t appear inclined to stop talking, so I have already begun the second book. No, I don’t know how to not be writing/editing.

The second book will shift the focus a little bit, give us a new world to play in and may even give Thána a love interest, probably female. Of course, this means giving Brain (my muse) the kind of work she loves best, world-building.

To be honest, she’s been playing at what this world will look like since about the beginning of March. I’m still teasing out the full plot, but I have the usual five or six plot points that the story will be built around. So far, what I know is that the world we will visit has undergone recent, radical, apocalyptic changes. It is a place filled with many races, some of which are familiar, some of which will be wholly new creatures.

Not going to say more, and I do not have a working title yet, but I have the first 1000 words or so and I look forward to seeing where the story takes me.

Happy Memorial Day, Readers. Please be safe!

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does it matter that it’s Friday?

Happy Friday, Readers!  I meant to post earlier in the week, but I have actual, paying work at the moment, so my attention has been on that.

How are you coping?  I’ve had a few bad days, but between work on The Blood Witch and working in my container garden, I’ve found ways to keep my head up.  I hope you can say the same.

I’ve also been indulging in two of my favorite things, Star Wars and Supernatural.  I find it soothing to re-watch something I am so familiar with.

Today though I feel beat up and sore all over, probably from trying to do too much with very heavy stuff last night (ordered a bunch of soup and it all came in one box…like we’re talking 16 cans of soup. I’d have been better off taking a few cans out at a time, but no…like an idiot I tried to move the whole box).  I’m hoping a hot shower can help me feel a little better.

Aside from that, I’m going to try to finish up these edits I’m getting paid to do, if the website ever comes back up. Right now I’m just getting a blank page.  I assume no one in the support team is currently online.

And, maybe some work on the book.  Depends on how long my beat up body can tolerate the office chair.

I hope your Friday is filled with good things!  Remember, kindness matters.  Please be kind to yourself too.

Cover Photo by Sincerely Media on Unsplash

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a plan for the day

There comes a point in every book where I want to chuck it all in and never write another word.  I start to question my plot. I start to think my characters are crap.  I become fairly certain that the whole thing is a steaming pile of garbage left to rot in the sun.

Thankfully, a few days away from the book is usually enough to cure me of it, and then I fall in love with my characters again. I plug up plot holes.  I draw maps to make sure I’m using consistent language and direction when I’m writing about travels.  I fortify character descriptions, using sensual language to really let the reader see the character. I read through the book, making notes on things I need to thread deeper into the story, and then I go back to the beginning and I edit.

I hit the first point the other day, as I was finishing my first edit pass on The Blood Witch. I was pretty sure I was just going to toss it, and the year or so I’ve spent writing it, in the bin and stop calling myself a writer.

This morning, as I sit here sipping my coffee and contemplating my day, I’m reaching the second point.  I know where my holes are and I have good ideas on fixing them.  I have a list of little things I want to carry forward because I wrote them in with good intentions, and then forgot about them completely. I have a deep abiding love for my two main characters, and character notes on how to improve the secondary and tertiary characters.

My one remaining quandary is that my narrator main character is witty and fun in the first half of the book, but some of that bleeds off in the second half.  Part of it is due to the circumstances, and that will remain. But, I know that when I am under stress I get more sarcastic, not less, so I want to work on building some of that back in.

So that is the mission I will embark on today.  After the coffee is gone, the garden watered, breakfast eaten, for at least two hours today, and every day this week, I work on filling in the gaps and making this book something to be proud of.

Of course, then the real work happens because it is time to start querying.  Which is vaguely terrifying.

So, off to do those precursor things so that I can get to the words.  Have a pleasant Monday, Readers.  Stay safe.

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and the edit will go on…and on…

I’ve been working all week on my first edit of The Blood Witch. I’m up to chapter 25, which is where I will be starting this morning.  I have so much love for this character. Well, all of them, honestly.

I need to work on establishing some of them a little more, make them stronger side characters with stories all of their own…you know, make them real.  This is particularly true for some of the main character’s family.

As I work through this and build up the weak spots, plug up plot holes and all of that, my muse is already spinning up the world building for the second book, because, yes, this is at least a two book series.

I’ve added over 5,000 words so far, and there are probably another 2,000 to 3,000 to come, which should drop me close to 90K by the time I’m done tinkering.  Then, provided I have the cash, I will be hiring my favorite editor to give it a good going over before I start the terrifying part: querying agents.

Having never done it, and having perpetual impostor syndrome, the thought is terrifying. I think these characters deserve my best, however, and I aim to give it to them…and the best is not just giving it to the publisher you know will take it, but won’t do much to support it once it’s out in the wild.

So, that’s how I’m muddling through the week, Readers.  That and coffee.  Lots of coffee.  Maybe that’s why I’m vibrating?  How about all of you?  How are you hanging in there?

Fancy a bit of “virtual hang out” time with me…and whoever of my friends happens to show up?  I’ll be hosting a Zoom meeting this evening.  No pressure, just a chance to see faces and chat.  I’ll put the details in the Events section over there on the right, or you can check my FB Author’s page for the link.  We did it last week, and there may have only been a few of us, but we had fun!  So come join us!

Okay, coffee’s getting cold so I’m off to slurp it down and get on with that editing business.  Y’all stay safe out there!

Oh, and if you’ve missed any of the Read Along for Through Shade and Shadow, you can find the recordings on my You Tube Playlist.

Cover Photo by Christin Hume on Unsplash

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not set in stone

My weekends are often filled with words and characters, along with cleaning and laundry and errands.  I tend to do my best writing first thing in the morning, when I’m fresh from dreams and have a big cup of coffee steaming in front of me.  I try to give writing a good four hours on both Saturday and Sunday, before I get up and get started on other things.

Today is no exception.  I managed to sleep in a little bit, not crawling out of bed until eight this morning, but I’ve been at the computer since, pounding on the keys.  I’ve spent a little time also pounding the digital pavement, since I’m still looking for work, but since I’ve done that every day this week, there weren’t many jobs I hadn’t already seen, so it’s back to making words.

Today’s words are in something of a transitional chapter, which I always struggle with.  There are things that need to happen to get us to where the next chapter begins, but it’s not specifically plot driven, just a bunch of moments that need to be hit to set up the climax.  This makes this chapter a bit of a struggle, because I want to just jump ahead to get on with the plot.

But, it’s one of those things, I can write it now and have it inform the next chapter, or I can jump ahead and come back to this later, likely having to force things to fit and then re-write the next chapter anyway.  Might as well stick it out and try to get it done.  Maybe if I finish this chapter today, I can start tomorrow’s writing where I wish I were today.

Maybe.

Of course, knowing the character telling this story, we might end up taking a side turn that I didn’t plan.  One of the joys of being someone who lets the story tell itself, rather than setting the plot in stone before you begin.

I can’t wait to introduce you all to her, Readers.  I think you’re going to like her.

On that note, back to the words.  Have a wonderful Saturday!

 

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leaving on a jet plane

Finishing up the packing for my trip tomorrow and trying to resist the urge to pack every Star Wars t-shirt I own.  After my bit of a buying spree lately, that’s a LOT of t-shirts.  I think I could get through most of a month without having to wash anything…and I still have a few coming.

My obsession has gotten a little bit out of control of late.

Yesterday I had my ME day in preparation of the trip…got my mani/pedi, got my hair cut and dyed…bought new clothes that I didn’t actually NEED.

But I found a denim jacket that will be PERFECT for my Star Wars patches/pins.  Did I mention my obsession?  LOL.

I’ll try to remember to post all about the early part of the conference on Wednesday.  And tell you all about any MUST HAVE books I stumble across.  There’s always a few dozen…or more.

In the meantime, I’m off to heat up more water for some more Death Wish coffee to help power me through this early Sunday morning.  Y’all be kind and have a beautiful day!

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reading, writing and resumes

Oops, I haven’t posted in a while!  Sorry about that.  I don’t even have a good excuse!  Life has been busy, but that’s almost always true.  So, what’s been happening?  Well, next week is Sirens is happening next week and our benefit anthology is out now!

heroes and hellions cover

Heroes and Hellions is a collection of short stories and poetry that explores what it is to be a hero and where the line blurs.

Your purchase goes to support the Sirens conference.  If you appreciate some badass speculative fiction from some badass folks you should pick it up.

In other news, I got email recently from someone who will be recording my first novel, Forever!  Audio book incoming, for all of you Readers who have been asking.

I’m hoping that I’ll be able to get back into a writing habit with the conference next week.  I think I’ve been a bit stymied because I have too many stories in my head competing for attention.

 

Aside from all of that, and bouncing between three different novels in progress, I’m still sending out resumes, looking for that company who needs me and all I have to offer.  For now, I’m slugging my way through a contract position that is not my favorite, but is paying the bills.

Speaking of which, I should get to it.  Lots of editing to do!  And my coffee is getting cold.  Happy Wednesday, Readers.  Go out and be recklessly kind!

 

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the politics of an angry female

I got an email earlier this week from someone who advised me that as an author who wants to “make it big” in the world of books, particularly as a woman, I needed to take the politics out of my books and focus on writing better.

This gentleman told me he had read the Shades and Shadows series and thought it would have been improved by not making the politics so pointedly directed at the darker “underbelly” of the USA.  He told me it was “unseemly” for a woman to display her anger so prominently in her work, and that I should “dial it back” and “focus on the actual plot” which he apparently thought had nothing to do with the politics.

He told me he didn’t mind the prominence of a homosexual relationship, though he thought that too should be “dialed back” and not so “in the face” of the Reader.  He said I should remove all references to Muslims because it was too controversial to say that discrimination against them was wrong.

He closed the letter with what I suppose was meant to be encouragement for me, telling me that I was a “fairly good writer” who could do well as an author, provided I stopped showcasing the “politics of an angry female” and embraced the softer, more accepted kinds of stories written by women, you know, the kind with no politics and no bad words and filled with plots driven by men and the women who need men.

I haven’t responded to this email.  In fact, I nearly deleted it out of hand.  In this political climate here in the United States, how are women not angry?  For centuries, we have been silent bystanders, watching the politics of old men regulate our rights, our bodies, our place in society and allowing ourselves to be marginalized out of jobs, out of careers.  But the world has changed and we have found our voice, we’ve come out of hiding.  We’ve shaken off the dust and stepped out onto the stage.

And yes, we’re angry.  And yes, we’re political.  It isn’t going to change anytime soon.  So, if you’re reading this, Sir of the Email, sorry you aren’t happy with my politics.  I probably wouldn’t be happy with yours either.  Sorry, not sorry.

Happy Wednesday, Readers!  I’m off to poke some more job sites in hope of finding a new job sooner, rather than later.

 

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