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november 11

I’m a big fan of remembering our past to keep us from repeating our mistakes, and the keeping of armistice day is particularly important to my mind.  When we look back at human history and the loss of human life that came from both World Wars, and war in general, it’s hard to comprehend any justification sufficient enough to bring us to the brink of such violence again.

And yet, I look at the world around me and it saddens me to see how close we are today to a violent clashing between world powers, and how much destruction it could bring us today.  As a species we seem to have excelled in the technology to destroy ourselves, perfected it in a manner of speaking.  Today we have the power to end life on this earth over the minor, trifling disputes that seem all together important, important enough to demonize and otherize those not like us, those who believe differently or look different or whatever reason we might give.

Even just within the country I call home, I have never in my life seen us so divided, so willing to level blame and accusations without consideration, even without fact in many cases.  Our technology allows us to spread lies as if they are truth in a heartbeat around the world.  It provides us glimpses of who people are when they are presenting their worst side, but never when their better selves are on display.

I sometimes feel as if war is inevitable now.  As if we are about to toss all of the lessons of years past, disregard the humanity of the “other side” and fall headlong into a bloody, terrible conflict that will not end until we have once again grown weary of the bloodshed.

But, sometimes, there is hope.  Sometimes someone reminds me that humanity is not yet lost.  Sometimes we put down our guns and our flags and our pride to remember what has gone before.

Now, if only we could vow to keep that peace beyond a single holiday.

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I voted!

(This Wednesday post on Tuesday is brought to you by Election Day)

It was a wonderful thing waking up this morning to see all of the “I voted” stickers on my Facebook feed.  I always vote by mail, in part due to my agoraphobia, so my ballot went out well over a week ago.

Mid-term elections are known for a low voter turn out, but already it seems that this year will be different.  When less than half of eligible voters actually cast their vote, and so many districts face active voter suppression (I’m looking at you North Dakota and Southern states), our government is decided by that small group of people who actually make it to the polls to vote.

With a country that seems so divided, every voice counts more than ever!  Right now the far-right and the far-left are the only voices at the table, because they’re the ones who voted in the last election.  It’s time to shake off the lethargy of the middle and get out there, make your voice heard.

In most places, Uber and Lyft are offering free/discounted rides to polling places, and some areas have sponsored “I’ll take you” systems where calling a central number will get a neighbor to pick you up and take you to vote.

I’ll ask only one thing of you as you set out to perform this serious civic duty: vote with Kindness.  If the option is between hurting your fellow human beings and helping them, choose helping.  If the option is between taking rights away and letting the equality promised in our founding documents proceed unhindered, choose the latter.

Have a good election day, Readers!  Make your voice heard.

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#amwriting

I’m sitting in my home office on a Saturday morning, enjoying the last bit of the Death Wish Coffee before I get my next shipment later in the month, and writing.  It is maybe my favorite day of the week, especially when the words are working well.

Today is one of those days, when the words are working and the story has changed enough that my re-write of existing words to change from 3rd person to 1st person has become writing fresh words that take the story in a slightly different direction.

My main character, my point of view character is an eleven year old girl when we first meet her.  She got her name when one of my best friends responded to my naming dilemma by telling me to name her Fred.  She was being facetious, but I took the suggestion to heart.  Her full name is Alliafred, but those close to her call her Fred.

The world she lives in is different from anything I’ve published before, and I’ve been really enjoying create a map of that world, though I lack in the drawing skills and naming skills.  I’ve been working on the world’s backstory for years.

In other news, I’m told to expect Where Shadows Fall to be ready to publish before the end of November, and as soon as I can, I will share the cover with all you.  I’m very excited to share this story with you to close out the Shades and Shadows series.

Now, however, it’s back to the coffee and the words.

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taken a-back

There is this moment, just as I am waking up, but before I’ve moved or opened my eyes.  In that moment, nothing hurts, at least not above my baseline.  I try to hold on to that moment, because I know that soon, I’ll have to move, have to sit up and put my feet on the floor, and then the pain will come.

I sometimes joke that if I ever woke up not in pain, I’d assume I died through the night.  I’ve had chronic pain conditions most of my adult life, and I’ve developed new ones as I’ve gotten older.

Most days I can be functional with a few coping mechanisms, some gentle stretching and my meds for nerve pain.  I’m fortunate to not need anything in the opioid category for pain relief.

This morning, as I slowly became conscious and I hung there in that glorious moment when nothing hurt, I wondered what it would be like to be there all the time, to have my body back.  I’ll probably never know.  I just adjust to the new normal each time something new comes to claim my body for its home.

This week has been rough for pain levels.  My lower back, and in turn my legs, have been extra loud in the symphony and have required I do some babying and icing.  They seem to be somewhat better today, though my whole back is a hair above what I call “normal.”

That’s okay though.  Today is a writing day, and aside from getting some laundry done, I have no other plans.  Just me, some Death Wish Coffee and one of the two stories I’m currently working on.

What about you, Reader?  What’s on your plate today?

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living off script

Life is an odd thing, if you think about it.  You’re born a squirmy, screaming thing that can do nothing for itself.  If you’re lucky, you’re cared for by people who love you just because you share the same blood.  You grow and you choose friends based on the clothes they’re wearing or the TV shows they watch or the color of their hair or whatever random thing makes them attractive to you.  You learn skills, you set yourself off on a path to earn a living, and maybe make your own squirmy, screaming thing that you then have to love and care for.

It’s almost like we’re born with a script to follow…even if some of us don’t follow it all the way.

Today is my mother’s 70th birthday.  She followed that script.  She became a nurse, she got married, she had two kids…but then there was an unexpected twist written into the script when she wasn’t looking.  She found herself divorced with two kids to raise with nursing skills so far out of date that going back to nursing wasn’t even possible.

She raised two kids, one who seems to be following the script pretty well. He married, raised two kids to adulthood, etc.  Me, well, not so much.  I kind of walked away from the script a long time ago. I never married, though I considered it once.  I never had kids, though I considered that once too.

At my age, it isn’t going to happen, though I have considered fostering from time to time.  I get attached too easily and I’m driven to fix things for others, so I think it would probably kill me to do.

I’ll have to settle for living off script, I guess.  It isn’t a bad life.

I have a cup of Death Wish coffee and some edits to get to before I head out to see Mom.  Happy Saturday, Readers!

 

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observations on a wednesday morning

I hopped on the early, early train this morning, the one two trains before the one I normally take, because I got to the station so early. It always surprises me how full the train is at 5:45 am.

When I stepped onto the train, I could see construction workers, half asleep, some squatting on their toolboxes, others sprawled across seats they’d managed to find before the train got full.  There were glassy eyed medical workers in their scrubs, blinking blearily out the window and kids on their way to daycare, mostly asleep in their parents’ laps.

There were a couple of college students too, trying to read from textbooks as the train jolted this way and that, clinging to the overhead straps to keep themselves upright.  A few stops in, two older women got on, each with a cane and looking like a strong wind would knock them over.  We had to rouse two able bodied folks sleeping in the accessible seats to make sure they could sit down.  It was one of those mornings where four accessible seats on each end of the car wasn’t enough for those who needed them.

I read most of the ride because I can’t resist the call of a new book.  At my stop, I got off the train with the masses and shuffled along to the escalator, praying that the escalator to the street was working because my right hip just is not up to stairs right now.  On the concourse I could see the homeless that had slipped into the station for a bit of warmth, sleeping while they could.  They’ll get roused soon enough and be forced to move on.  At least here in San Francisco they don’t have to worry about freezing temps and snow as they do in some places already this year.

Because I was early, I didn’t pass the regular people: the guy who looks like he belongs in a mob movie, the pregnant woman who is always on the phone, the homeless guy who sets up just in front of the one Starbucks, hoping for a cup of joe from a kind stranger.

Construction has the street all torn up, traffic re-routed, as they build whatever “pedestrian improvements” they’re making.  Closer to work, the striking workers were already hard at it outside the Courtyard Marriott, some of them blocking the side walk and chanting incoherently, others standing around the table where the coffee lives and talking.  I considered stopping at the Starbucks there, but then I remembered that they were closed due to the strike.

I was early enough that the usual security person wasn’t at the desk yet, so I nodded good morning to the man I don’t know and headed upstairs.  It was quiet and dark, the automatic lights weren’t due to come on for another 15 minutes…but I like it that way.

Now, however, the sun is up outside the window and I’m no longer alone in the office.  I guess that means I should refill my coffee cup and get busy. Happy Wednesday, Readers!  May it be filled with kindness.

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weekend tidbits

I woke up this morning to my publishing contract for Where Shadows Fall, which is not a bad way to start a Sunday morning, you know?

Yesterday I woke up to a small cold, and ended up taking the day very easy.  Today I plan on writing for a few hours, then getting the housework tamed a bit.  Seems like there is always housework, doesn’t it?

At the moment, I’m slowly waking up.  I have a cup of coffee and it’s quiet outside my window.  I imagine the kids next door will be shattering that silence before long, but for the moment it is quite nice.

I can’t wait until I can share new cover art with you all!  For now though, I seem to have reached the bottom of my coffee cup, so I’m off to refill it.  Hope your Sunday is filled with fun and imagination, Readers!

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where shadows fall

I received word yesterday that my manuscript for Where Shadows Fall has been accepted by my publisher.  This means it should be ready for release in time for holiday sales.  Where Shadows Fall will serve as the ending of the Shades and Shadows trilogy, though not likely the end of stories in that world.

I have at least two short stories I want to write with these characters, possibly more, so I won’t be leaving it for a long time.

There aren’t really any new characters for me to introduce to you this time around.  The story moves from where In Gathering Shade left off and drives through the gathering darkness without really picking up any new characters.

We do get to see more of Emily and Victoria in this book, and some of the side characters really get ot shine as well.  I can’t wait to see the cover because I know that my publisher always comes through with great covers.

I hope you, dear Readers, are as excited about this as I am!  But for now, I have to go get another cup of Death Wish Coffee and get some work working.

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the fury of women

I’m sure you can feel it.  The anger seething just beneath the surface.  The anger of women who have been ignored, belittled, harassed, abused, assaulted, raped and the status quo has failed them time and time again.

If you can’t feel it, you must be living in a cave.

The swell is coming.

I’ve been told not to be too political on my blog because it will scare readers away.  But if you read my work, you should already know where I stand.  I hope you are voters, Readers.  I hope you will vote next month and in two years and in two years after that.  I hope you will vote in every election, no matter how small.  Make your voices heard.

Let that rage fill you up and burst out in that voting booth.

I tend to fall to poetry when the need to express myself is greatest.  Here’s one I wrote last night/this morning:  Self Destruction.

With that, and my last cup of coffee, I’m off to write and edit for a bit.  New book coming soon!

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an exciting day

Today is an exciting day.  Why, you ask?  Because today is the day I finally submitted Where Shadows Fall to my publisher!

That means that very soon there will be talk about book covers and the like.  Then I’ll be able to start teasing publishing dates, maybe even open up pre-orders!

It’s been a long time coming, interfered with by life events and the like, but this is the end of this trilogy, and I feel like I can move on to the next thing without being held back.

I’m still processing pictures from my trip (like the one above), and I’ll get a post up on the travel blog as soon as I’m done.

In the meantime, if you haven’t already read Through Shade and Shadows and In Gathering Shade, now is a good time to get on that!