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sleigh bells and rudolph

I am one of those people who generally dislike Christmas music. There are a number of reasons. The first big one is that there are so few new Christmas songs, so we get inundated with the same ten or so songs in multiple variations. Do we really need every single recording artist to record Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer?

Then there’s the fact that everywhere you go, you get slammed with that music non-stop. Gone are the contemporary songs that stores usually play. I probably would like Christmas music better if it was one song out of five, rather than wall to wall Drummer Boy and Frosty the Snowman.

Of course, the fact that so much of the traditional Christmas music is based in a religion I left decades ago. Nothing against those songs per se, just not my thing, you know?

There’s also my disdain for false cheer, forced happy endings and the like. It’s one of the reasons I don’t watch Christmas movies too. Or romance. My music tastes are varied and wide, but my comfort music is generally dark and loud. There’s a reason I clean house to stuff from artists like Halestorm, Dorothy, Flogging Molly, etc.

Today is the day that my disdain starts to dissipate though. Starting on Christmas Eve, I am much more amenable to the stuff. I may even turn on some alternative stuff today while I’m packing or cleaning. We’ll see.

And tomorrow I have no problems with it, at least in small doses. As long as it is background noise, and not taking over the whole affair. But I feel that way about most music, if I’m spending time with others. Alone, I crank it up though. In other words, it’s almost time to be Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree.

Whatever you celebrate, whatever you believe, whoever you love, I am sending you all my love this holiday season, Readers. Give yourself a hug from me.

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yuletide blessings

I am, admittedly, not the most devout and practicing Pagan, aside from Samhain, which has always been my favorite holy day. But today marks the Winter Solstice, the start of the twelve days of Yule.

I’ve always loved a good fire, and in ancient tradition, the Yule fire burned for twelve days. This can be looked at as a sort of sympathetic magic, meant to encourage the sun to move forward and lengthen the days because, on the Winter Solstice, the Celts (and others) believed that the sun stood still.

From the Summer Solstice, the days grow shorter until we reach the Winter Solstice. This is the dark time of the year, but from this day forward, the days grow longer and the nights shorter until we complete the cycle at the Summer Solstice.

The Yule log isn’t the only sympathetic magic we engage in at this time of year. Those lights we hang on our trees, porches, eaves…that all started the same way. Drive out the dark, entice the sun to return. And that feast? Back in our pre-Christian, pre-electricity days, we had to squirrel away food from the harvest to get us through the winter, but by Yule, we know the spring is coming, and with it, the earth will once again bear fruit. So we eat heartily as a way of trusting that we will plant again and harvest again.

I don’t want this to turn into a diatribe about stolen traditions…or even stripping those traditions of their original meaning/purpose. I want to celebrate, because gods know this year could use a little celebration.

I don’t have a fireplace, but if I did, there would be a fire burning in it. Instead, I will light candles and wish for spring.

Whether you celebrate Yule, Christmas, Hannukah, or some other holiday this time of year, I hope it brings you joy, the comfort of home, the love of family, and blessings for the coming days, Readers.

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Christmas in the time of covid…

Christmas is just a week away. It doesn’t feel like Christmas though. I don’t know if it’s the exhaustion of the last two years, or the continued and continuing pandemic, or just my own general malaise, but this holiday season seems so…flat.

I’m not a huge Christmas fan anyway, at least not like I was back when I was younger. I had been planning to decorate, but then decided I need to move, so I’m packing instead of unpacking. There was a time though when I decorated EVERYTHING. I spent a lot of time and money covering our house in lights, putting up our tree with the carefully curated stash of homemade and personalized ornaments, even set up a ceramic Christmas village, in which every house was hand painted.

Since I moved out of my mother’s house, I haven’t much bothered with decorating. I haven’t had the space for a tree or the village. Every few years I’ll put out porch decorations and lights.

I’m not a big fan of most Christmas movies either, for any number of reasons. I’ll usually try to watch Die Hard on Christmas Eve though. Yes, I consider it a Christmas movie. And no, Nightmare Before Christmas is a Halloween watch, not a Christmas one.

And Christmas music makes my teeth hurt.

But I’m not trying to be a Debbie-Downer. I mostly keep these things to myself. In fact, what I’m searching for right now is the things that do make me happy at this time of year. I love the cooler weather. I love wearing flannel shirts and hoodies. I love the general feeling in the air this time of year, the casual greetings of people you pass, that kind of thing.

I do enjoy the cooking/baking for the holidays, again, with nowhere near the ferocity of it in my 20s and 30s…but I do still enjoy prepping for a big meal, making cookies to share with friends, and all that.

And gift-giving. I love giving gifts. It’s a big part of my personality. Chances are good that if you have known me for more than a little while, you have experienced my love of giving gifts, especially the unexpected kinds. That much still holds true.

But all my gifts are bought and wrapped. Sometime today I will move them to the trunk of the car so that they’re out of the way as I continue to pack stuff.

May your holiday season be filled with kindness, Readers. Some good food, good friends and good health.

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rainy monday

It’s a rainy Monday here in California. The cats are both curled up sleeping. My bathroom floor is flooded (landlord hasn’t fixed the leaky roof yet). I’ve been at the computer since 5am.

There’s so much going on it feels weird to just be sitting here.

I think I found a new house, so I’ll likely be moving in January. Which means packing over the holidays. Fortunately, I have more than a week off to do it in.

I really dislike moving, but I really need to get out of this place I’m in. And this place I looked at yesterday was really cute. I’ve already started packing, and my aim is to do at least 3 boxes per day going forward. I’ve emptied the TBR bookshelf already. Tonight I think I will tackle the big book shelf in the office.

One thing that’s nifty about packing though? You find things you forgot that you owned. I found attachments to my vacuum cleaner I don’t remember ever seeing. I found my Wii, and a stash of old photos.

And while the act of moving sucks, the idea of a new place is luring.

I better get back to the day job, Readers. Happy Monday!

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there’s no place like home

As an agoraphobe and an introvert, my home is my safe space. These past two years, I have not suffered with loneliness or gone stir crazy from being at home. I have a job I can do from my home. My outings have been a once-a-week trip to the grocery store and once vaccinations came around, the occasional trip to see family.

However, what I have missed is travel.

It might seem paradoxical that an introverted agoraphobe loves to travel, but I do. Road trips with friends to see live music. Long vacations in places I’ve never been. Leisurely sunsets on sandy beaches, watching the sun rise as I sip my coffee in the woods, or on a lake.

My travel has been minimal. I went to Austin in August of this year, and that’s about it. And, with the area in the red zone for COVID that trip had its anxiety.

And to be fair, I wouldn’t be comfortable in a crowded bar or theater for music, nor sitting in a plane for 10 hours to go overseas. A cabin in the woods might be nice. Maybe I’ll look into a cabin in Tahoe in the new year. I can make it a writing vacation…take a week off work, nestle in to a cozy cabin and write.

But first, I’m on the hunt for a new home to make my safe space. This one is starting to feel unwelcoming, for a number of reasons. Later today I’m looking at a place not far from where my family lives in Stockton, CA. If it works out, I’ll be moving in January. I kind of like the idea of starting something new at the start of the year.

It just feels right.

What are your hopes for the coming new year, Readers?

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let them eat cake

I am in the process of edits, which means a lot of reading punctuated with spurts of writing/changing and a fair amount of admiration for writer-me who strung together some pretty decent words.

My writing process goes a little something like this:

  1. Zero-Draft, just get the plot onto the page
  2. Character Study, get the details down for reference
  3. First Edit, smooth out the plot on the page and add description/scene/dialog as needed
  4. Put the book down and work on something else for a while.
  5. Second Edit, clean up typos, fix plot holes
  6. Continuity Edit, make sure character descriptions and the like are consistent
  7. Read the whole thing out loud, fix things as they come up
  8. Polish
  9. Start the next book

I am on step 5 for the second book in the Blood Witch series. I have completed step 1 for book 3. Book 1 is complete (at least until it finds an editor) and I have begun querying agents.

This is kind of the sweet spot for me, the time I am most happy with my writing. I love these characters. I love the world(s) I’ve built. There will still be a period of doubt, when I’m sure the whole thing is crap, but for now, I am wallowing in the love.

I don’t write to get rich or famous. In fact, I’ve made less in royalties in the years I’ve been publishing than I used to make babysitting as a teenager. I write because I have stories to tell, characters to introduce to the world. It’s nice to make a little money, sure. Would it be awesome if everyone loved these stories as much as I do? Sure. But it’s just icing. The cake is where I find satisfaction.

My coffee is almost gone, so I guess it’s time to get back to baking…I mean editing. Happy Sunday, Readers. May it be pleasant.

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waiting for daylight

Some mornings, when I can’t sleep, I lay in bed and cuddle kitties while I ponder on some plot or world-building. Eventually, I will get up because the cats want their morning treats and I want coffee.

Today was one of those days. I’m not sure what woke me at 3:30 am, but once I was aware of being awake, I couldn’t go back to sleep. So, with Freya laying on my hip and Morrigan curled up beside me, I lay in bed and considered a few plot points that have been bugging me…at least until my bladder decided it needed my attention most immediately.

The cats have had their treats, and I’m tucked in with a cup of coffee and staring at words on a screen. I’m starting on my next edit pass on book 2, and down to the nitpicky details and minutiae, revving up descriptions of people and places and that sort of thing.

Book 1, meanwhile, has started back on the agent hunt. I’ve queried a few agents in the last few weeks and hang here awaiting responses. This is the part of writing that people who aren’t authors don’t understand, all the waiting and self-promotion (which I suck at).

In other book related news, Amazon has sabotaged my current publisher this week, declaring that they broke some KDP rule, and thus they have pulled all ebooks from that publisher for all of its authors (hundreds). We’re still working on getting this sorted out, but for the moment, ebooks are unavailable for any of my books.

So here I sit, sipping coffee and waiting for daylight when I will gather up my portion of the family dinner and some crochet project, and head out to the family. Between here and there I hope for some words, maybe some breakfast and more kitty cuddles. It isn’t a bad way to start the day.

I hope this day is filled with kindness and love, Readers. Kindness and Love.

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finding gratitude and joy

We come to the time of year when we celebrate yet another problematic American holiday.

Growing up, we’re taught a very sanitized version of the history of the country we call home. We’re taught about the first Thanksgiving in a way that perpetuates the myth of how the white people who are my ancestors were helped by the “friendly” Native Americans as if it was all peaceful and they weren’t taking land that wasn’t theirs to take.

Needless to say, I have mixed feelings about the origins of the holiday, so I tend to focus on it being a day to spend with family and be thankful for the year…well, in normal years anyway.

In the last two years, it might seem hard to be thankful. With so much illness and death, the loss of jobs and livelihoods, the isolation of quarantine and lockdown. So much sorrow to dwell in.

I guess that’s the challenge this week; find all the good, the reasons for joy. Let’s celebrate those things in this week of gratitude. I can’t quite bring myself to celebrate the notion that I’m still here, not when over a quarter of a million of our population has died, but certainly, there are other things I can celebrate.

  1. I found a job that pays me well and suits my talents.
  2. I have begun shopping around my next novel, and the two sequels are in very good shape.
  3. I have approval to work remotely permanently. Pajama pants and hoodies all day every day.
  4. My family is, by and large, healthy.
  5. I am good at what I do and I love what I do.
  6. I have a stack of books to read, and time to read them.
  7. I have some of the most amazing friends in the world…all over the world.
  8. I have a gift for recognizing toxic people very quickly and have learned to disengage.
  9. Coffee. Forever and always.
  10. Fandom that isn’t toxic. I’ve largely withdrawn from most fandom arenas, but there is joy to be found in a fandom about that thing you love. Find it.

I hope this week brings you kindness and joy, gratitude and happiness. You are loved, Reader. Spread that around.

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and now I wait…

This past weekend, I began (again) the search for an agent to represent me and the Blood Witch books. This is one of the things I have always been bad at…this advocating for myself, selling myself. It’s also why I suck at marketing and promotion.

But, if I want to take the next step as an author, this is how it must be done. I submitted to three agents that seemed like a good fit for me and the books…and now I wait.

In the meantime, I am continuing my edit of books 2 & 3 to bring them up to the same level as book 1.

I really believe in these books, in these characters and I can’t wait to share them with the world.

I’m also looking ahead to what comes next, because there’s always “next” and I have all these ideas in my head.

But first, it’s time to get back to the day job. And another cup of coffee.

It’s Wednesday, and I hope it’s wonderful for you.

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out of the fog

I started to write a post about Veterans Day, but got distracted by something and forgot. Story of my life these days. My attention span is not what it used to be.

However, I’m here now. There is a heavy fog laying over my town today. I love the way fog makes you feel isolated and insulated from the world at large. It feels almost magical, like almost anything could emerge from the fog.

I have this image in my head: Fog hides the modern world, and there are just glimpses of buildings or cars, then something stirs. He steps out of the fog. He is tall, his powerful legs covered in fur. The antlers on his head drip with condensation and moss. His beard is full, glistening with the moisture of the day. His hooves make no sound as he approaches and holds out his hand, inviting me to join him.

Not sure if that image will develop into an actual story or not, but it’s there in my head.

I’m writing/editing for a while today, but there are things to do! Places to go! The start of the holiday season has already begun here, with parking lots full and people running madly from store to store. Have they forgotten that the internet exists?

Ugh. I’m all over the place today. My head is spinning with stories and memories and a need for more coffee!

I’ll come back when I have some more cohesive thoughts.

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