Tag: real life

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hope rises with the sun

The world is a hot mess right now, and I have to admit that it is eating up a lot of my brain power and making me want to just hide in my safe little sanctuary until it sorts itself out. We’re still dealing with a pandemic, we’ve got monkeypox on the rise, new cases of polio (which we thought we had irradiated), some new virus in China…we’ve got war in Ukraine, a former president who appears to have committed even more crime than we thought, his supporters taking guns to the FBI and calling for civil war (let alone just plain murder of agents). We’ve got Israel pounding Palestine, civilians being killed the world over, continuing gun violence here in the US and a congress who seems to have forgotten they’re supposed to work for us.

It’s a lot, and some days it’s more than I can wrap my head around. Other days, I’m wallowing in it, which isn’t good for anyone.

Still, there is beauty and kindness in this world, we just have to dig a little deeper to find it these days. The sun still rises, the rain still falls (though most of the world really needs more of that), the flowers still open up and people still do good things for one another.

And when you can’t find that kindness around you, the best way to look for it is to be that kindness. It doesn’t have to be a big gesture or cost you a fortune. It can just be the little things, the smile for a stranger, a kind word to someone you pass in the street or stand behind in line. It can be the cup of coffee you bring a coworker who is having a hard time, or the lunch tab you pick up for a friend.

Hope rises above despair, but it needs our help. Find a moment today to hope for something. Bring kindness into the world.

Happy Sunday, Readers. May it bring you peace.

Photo by todd kent on Unsplash

By the way, have you picked up your copy of Thanátou yet?

Thanátou
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Christmas in the time of covid…

Christmas is just a week away. It doesn’t feel like Christmas though. I don’t know if it’s the exhaustion of the last two years, or the continued and continuing pandemic, or just my own general malaise, but this holiday season seems so…flat.

I’m not a huge Christmas fan anyway, at least not like I was back when I was younger. I had been planning to decorate, but then decided I need to move, so I’m packing instead of unpacking. There was a time though when I decorated EVERYTHING. I spent a lot of time and money covering our house in lights, putting up our tree with the carefully curated stash of homemade and personalized ornaments, even set up a ceramic Christmas village, in which every house was hand painted.

Since I moved out of my mother’s house, I haven’t much bothered with decorating. I haven’t had the space for a tree or the village. Every few years I’ll put out porch decorations and lights.

I’m not a big fan of most Christmas movies either, for any number of reasons. I’ll usually try to watch Die Hard on Christmas Eve though. Yes, I consider it a Christmas movie. And no, Nightmare Before Christmas is a Halloween watch, not a Christmas one.

And Christmas music makes my teeth hurt.

But I’m not trying to be a Debbie-Downer. I mostly keep these things to myself. In fact, what I’m searching for right now is the things that do make me happy at this time of year. I love the cooler weather. I love wearing flannel shirts and hoodies. I love the general feeling in the air this time of year, the casual greetings of people you pass, that kind of thing.

I do enjoy the cooking/baking for the holidays, again, with nowhere near the ferocity of it in my 20s and 30s…but I do still enjoy prepping for a big meal, making cookies to share with friends, and all that.

And gift-giving. I love giving gifts. It’s a big part of my personality. Chances are good that if you have known me for more than a little while, you have experienced my love of giving gifts, especially the unexpected kinds. That much still holds true.

But all my gifts are bought and wrapped. Sometime today I will move them to the trunk of the car so that they’re out of the way as I continue to pack stuff.

May your holiday season be filled with kindness, Readers. Some good food, good friends and good health.

Photo by Tessa Rampersad on Unsplash

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I get by with a little help from you

This week, I once again found myself without a day job. The company I was with laid me off on Monday, so I am back on the job search. I’ve come to really not like looking for a job. I’m good at what I do, and I have always let the work speak for me. I don’t like having to swagger.

I’m in a bad spot financially, but I have been here before, and I know I will survive. And, I have a mini sort of vacation this weekend, and already have an interview lined up for next week.

I’m going to take today off of the active hunt, but I will answer calls if they come, and do some writing instead. What good is time without work if I don’t utilize it?

If you would like to help support an out-of-work writer, there are multiple ways to do that. I still have copies of my books “Forever” and “Tonight” available for purchase, $10 for Forever, $7 for Tonight, $15 for both if bought together. You can use my contact page, or hit me up directly on Venmo, Paypal or Ko-Fi. Links below.

Venmo

Paypal

Ko-Fi

Photo by Stormseeker on Unsplash

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when words flow like water

There is a particular spot when writing a book, at least for me, when I’ve found the path, and the plot is clear and my characters are feeling very chatty, and it just flows out of my fingers and into the keyboard.

I’ve recently hit that point with the second Blood Witch book.

The problem with that is, all I want to do is write, to get it all down and find the ending. It’s a glorious feeling, but it does tend to interfere with real life. I still have to work, and there’s other obligations to meet. I can’t actually sit my ass down at my computer and write all day, every day.

That said, I do have some vacation days coming, and I’m hoping that I can get my zero draft finished before the end of the year. I just have to get from here to December 24th, grabbing writing time where I can, then I have a whole week (plus a day or two) off to write.

I hope you are all well, and keeping yourself, and your families safe during this hell-fire of a year. Drink some water. Wash your hands. Wear your mask. Stay home as much as you can. I love you all, Readers!

Cover Photo by Roma Ryabchenko on Unsplash

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to all the dads out there

A lot of people have complicated relationships with their fathers, and I think current political and health matters probably don’t really help in that arena.

I have LGBTQ+ friends whose fathers have thrown them away, disowned them, told them to never come back. I have friends who had abusive fathers, drug addict fathers, fathers who were too young and too afraid to stick around. I know people who never knew their fathers, and never had a male father figure step into their lives to fill the void.

But I also have friends who had amazing dads or stepdads or granddads who did what dads are supposed to do, who loved those kids and helped them grow up in a world designed to tear them down. Those who taught them how to ride a bike, bait a hook, stand up for themselves and for others. Those that knew the world outside of childhood could be could and cruel, and helped prepare them to thrive anyway.

I was fortunate, even if my relationship with my father has occasionally been rocky due to so many reasons that are rooted in who I was in my puberty years (think far-right, evangelical Christian) and who he was (as in, not that), that my dad was there for me. We don’t always agree, even now that I’ve gone the far right of him to the far left of him, but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he loves me for who I am.

My Dad and Me

And I had a pretty cool stepfather too. Bob and I didn’t always see eye to eye either, but he was always there to lend a hand when I needed it and he loved us even if he never said those words.

I hope that all of you who fill those roles, whether you’re blood or not, take a little time today to give yourself a moment to know you are awesome. And if you are someone looking for how to help the next generation, whether you are cis-male, trans-male or nonbinary, consider finding that one on one relationship with a kid who needs it, and yeah, I don’t just mean the under 18 crowd. There are tons of folks in their 20s who could really use a father figure to help them find their way into what being an adult really means.

Even if you’re one of those guys who never really had an old man, maybe especially if you’re one of those guys, be the father-figure you wanted in your life.

So Happy Father’s Day to all the Dads and Dad-adjacent folks out there. Being that it is Sunday and my job #2 has no work for me to be doing today, I get to write for a while before I get on with the housework that needs doing. I’m off to do that…and drink more coffee.

Cover Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

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sleep, sweet sleep

You know those mornings when you wake up slowly, snuggled into warm blankets, with cuddly pets on either side and you lay there, not quite awake thinking how nice it would be to just fall back to sleep?

But then the alarm goes off and just like that you’re faced with the fact that now you’re fully awake, you need to pee, one cat is eating your hair and the other one is meowing at you for not being up already to give them treats?

Yeah, that’s what this morning was like.

I almost had myself convinced it was the weekend.  It is not, in fact, the weekend.  Not yet anyway. There are two more work days between here and there!

Oh well, at least there’s coffee, and this morning it is strong!  Happy Thursday, Readers!  May your cup be full and your work day short.

 

Photo by Kate Stone Matheson on Unsplash

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As a writer, I look at every experience as an opportunity to learn human behavior, to observe from the sidelines as the world goes on around me.  I mean, sure I get frustrated and even angry with things, but even then a part of my brain is taking in the color and cataloging characters in the never-ending expanse that is my “things to write” filing system.

This weekend, as my mother and I engaged in a little retail therapy at the local mall, I had ample eye candy to keep my brain chugging…from the flamboyant and awesome folks at Hot Topic, to the mother who would not keep her kids from screaming at deafening decibels while we were trying to have lunch, to the bored elves with a Santa with no one coming to see him (I tried to convince my mother she should go have turn, but she refused).

We shopped stores I haven’t been into in years.  To be fair, I do most of my shopping online these days, so going to a store is rare.  And going to a mall is rarer still.  We hit up Barnes & Noble, the afore mentioned Hot Topic, Bed Bath & Beyond and Dillards.

I haven’t been into a Dillards since I lived in El Paso, and they had closed all of them before we left there.

For being a Sunday in December, it was not very busy, and it gave us both a chance to forget the holiday frustrations for a while and just shop.  I spent far too much money for someone who said she was done Christmas shopping before Thanksgiving!  Especially in BB&B…I LOVE their candles, and they were having their sale…got a few favorite scents and a couple of new ones…because CANDLES.  Have I mentioned my love of tiny flames?  Especially this time of year.  I have candles burning pretty much every night in December, reminding the sun that we need him here, and enticing him to return.

I did manage not to buy ALL of Barnes & Noble, which, considering I was shopping with my number one enabler, is a small miracle.  But, now it’s back to the daily grind and my cup of coffee.

Hope your week is fabulous, Readers!!

 

Photo by Jacek Dylag on Unsplash