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sorry to disappear

It’s been a weird month filled with Covid, migraines, and a decided lack of writing. At least, any writing outside of the day job. Even after being mostly recovered from Covid, my days consisted of said day job and then vegetating on the couch because the fatigue hung on forever.

I’m only just getting to the point of having enough oomph at the end of the day to do stuff like cook actual meals and the like.

This largely means not having enough brain power to do much writing or editing since coming back from LA. However, this week I got Thanátou: The Blood Witch Saga Book 1 back from the editor, so this weekend I’ve been immersed back into the world of Thána and friends working through those edits and putting together a glossary of non-English words.

I haven’t yet seen any cover design options, but I look forward to seeing what Next Chapter comes up with. I have book 2 almost ready to submit as well.

I will likely do a number of character introduction posts as I did with the Shades and Shadows series as we get closer to release. I really do love these characters so much.

And I’m posting this at just after 3am because now that I’m past Covid fatigue, I find myself back in the world of insomnia. I dozed in and out for a few hours, but at 2am I decided to just get up and get back to editing.

It’s going to be a short work week, as I am taking my mother up to Oregon as the family finally comes together to put my stepfather’s ashes to rest in the private family cemetery up there. (Yes, four years later…no, I’m not sure why it took so long) But we also get to do a little photography wandering while we’re up there, so that should be good.

Okay, back to edits. Happy Sunday, Readers. I hope it’s a good one for you.

Photo by Magda Smolen on Unsplash

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covid sucks

A week ago, several days after returning from Star Wars Celebration, I tested positive for Covid. I’m still not fully well.

I was sick for days before testing positive. There were four negative tests before the positive one. The first few days I felt like I was coming down with a cold. My temperature never went above 99.8, but I was very congested and felt like I could fall asleep at the drop of a hat.

Friday night, after having a miserable day, I tested positive. I still felt like I had a bad cold, with the added fatigue. I had a sore throat, ear aches, and nasal congestion. It seemed like each day a new symptom came up. I slept a lot. On Wednesday, the headache arrived…and it hasn’t left. That’s when the cough started up too. It has not been a bad cough, and I’m only breathless if I do stuff like climb the stairs.

I think Thursday was the worst day for it, and I ended up sleeping or laying down a good chunk of the day.

Now, mind you, I have had both vaccines and two boosters, and I wore my mask pretty much any time I was inside in public unless I was eating or having my picture taken.

I can’t imagine how bad this would be if I wasn’t vaccinated. With my comorbidities, I’d likely be in the hospital.

I’m planning on taking today easy, though I need to do laundry, with the hope that tomorrow I’ll be in better shape.

Photo by Medakit Ltd on Unsplash

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are we there yet?

June is Pride month. This will be my third year not participating in SF Pride, the first two because of the pandemic, and this year because I wasn’t invited back…and moved out of the bay area. There’s a part of me that misses it, but the agoraphobe in me does not.

I once thought we were making so much progress in the area of equal rights, but the last few years have proven me wrong. We’re sliding inexorably backward. Our rights are under constant attack. Our young people feel threatened. Hate crime continues to be a problem, and in some areas, it is a worsening problem.

People are still being killed just because of what is or is not in their pants or how they dress/present themselves to the world.

People ask why we still need Pride.

Well, we need Pride for the 8-year-old who knows she’s a girl but was born with a penis whose parents will not acknowledge her gender. We need pride for the gay teenager who really wants to take his boyfriend to prom but is afraid they will get beaten up. We need Pride for the shy lesbian teens on their first date who are afraid to hold hands. We need Pride for the teacher who won’t put a picture on her desk of her family, because she might lose her job if people knew that her spouse was a wife and not a husband.

Have we come a long way since the fifties? Sure, but our progress has not just stalled, it has started to slide backward in a lot of ways and there is still such a long, long way to go.

We are not done. The fight is not over. Stay strong, my friends, and battle on.

Happy Monday, and Happy Pride, Readers. May this week bring you a multitude of blessings.

Photo by Jiroe (Matia Rengel) on Unsplash

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rebellions are built on hope

Star Wars Celebration 2022 is now in the rear view mirror and I’ve had a few days to reflect on the experience.

For starters, I’m glad I went. Despite the terror, I had a great time. I got to meet a couple of authors I admire, got a tattoo, got to meet Ewan McGregor and Billy Lourd.

Me and Ewan McGregor

We saw lots of great costumes, spent too much money, got to participate in a lightsaber meetup or two (with a Santa Jedi!!), and took some awesome photos.

There were fireworks over Galaxy’s Edge, rides on the Rise of the Resistance and Smuggler’s Run, and drinks at Oga’s Cantina.

There were a few panic attacks, but most of the folks around me were awesome. As expected, the ADA access stuff was a total shit show the first day, but by midday Friday they seemed to have it sorted, aside from the whole lack of seating available for those of us who find standing for long periods difficult.

By the end of each day I was exhausted and in a ridiculous amount of pain, but I survived and had an amazing time. To cap the joy of the weekend, I took my brother and niece to see Steve Carlson play at the Hotel Cafe in Hollywood on Saturday night. It was a joy!

I’m still processing pictures from that show, and I took hardly any on the big camera at Celebration. Mostly I just used my phone for that.

Anyway, it’s back to the real world now. The day job is calling my name. I hope your week is/has been fantastic, Readers. I’m off to my coffee and some documents that want my attention.

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prepping for a convention when you’re agoraphobic

So, Star Wars Celebration. We leave after midnight on Wednesday to drive down to LA. To say that my anxiety is off the charts is an understatement.

The last few days in Rockaway Beach, and the few days off between that and leaving have been helpful, but as we get closer, my anxiety climbs.

One of my coping mechanisms is to make sure that I can control all the things that can be controlled. This means many different things: lots of lists for making sure I don’t forget anything, planning routes (even though google maps is my copilot), knowing as much info as possible, etc.

It also means ensuring that I have the things on hand I need to cope: Xanax (hopefully, getting a new prescription since I moved has been work), having my camera with enough battery/memory cards for the time I’ll be there, etc. I plan on requesting ADA support so I can have access to the quiet rooms if needed, and to cut down on the number of people I need to stand in line with for things.

I will also have my brother and his oldest (adult) child with me, who both have never been to anything like this before, so I’ll have caring duties to attend, which always lets me get outside my own head.

Don’t get me wrong, I am SO excited for this, despite the fact that I have never attempted so huge a convention before. It’s just that running right along that excitement is absolute terror. I have probably thought about every possible thing that could go wrong…and invented a hundred more.

So here, let me share some pics from my time at the ocean last week.

Rockaway Beach, Oregon

Rockaway Beach, Oregon

Anyway, I’ll have a full report for you when I get back, Readers. Stay safe and sane and kind.

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road trip

It’s twelve thirty in the morning. I’m waiting for second coffee to finish brewing so I can fill my travel mug and head out on the first road trip since the before times. The cats have food and water and clean litter boxes. The house is mostly clean. Mom is coming to watch the kitties.

Once the coffee is ready, I’ll run through my checklist one more time, shut off the computer, start the dishwasher and finish putting stuff in the car. I should be on the road by 1:30 ~ish, which should put me at my destination around noon.

I went to bed around 6pm to prep for this, and despite being super tired, my sleep was a bit crappy. I slept best early on, but then I was awake at least once an hour after 8pm. Finally gave up at a little after 11 because all I was doing was worrying about stupid stuff and stressing myself out.

I have the next two weeks off of work. A few days in Oregon with my girls, a few days at home to relax, then Star Wars Celebration. My low mileage insurance is going to go bonkers! LOL. Next month’s insurance bill is going to suck.

So, I hope you have a wonderful couple of weeks and get to take some time just for yourself, Readers.

I’m off to pour some coffee and get things moving.

Photo by Leio McLaren on Unsplash

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let us chill

This is the first of two short weeks for me on the day job. This week, I’m driving up to the Oregon coast to hang out with friends I haven’t seen in 3 years or more. I anticipate a lot of talking, a lot of laughing and a lot of relaxing.

I’m only taking my tablet for keeping up with the world outside, mostly because I’m awaiting some edits from an editor that I’d like to see as soon as they come in. I’m likely bringing a book or two since I’m an early riser and a nice quiet cup of coffee with a book is appealing to me.

The following weekend will not be as quiet or relaxing, as I head to Anaheim for Star Wars Celebration. I am absolutely terrified for multiple reasons, not the least of which is my agoraphobia. I’ve never attempted such a big convention before. I’m going with my brother and his oldest kid (who is not a kid anymore) so I have assistance and also care taking to do (as kid also has crowd issues) which helps me cope. Then there’s the whole pandemic thing. I haven’t been in a crowd more than five people since this whole thing started.

There’s going to be thousands.

We also have Disney After Dark tickets for that Friday night and tickets to see a friend at a music venue in Hollywood that Saturday night, so…it’s going to be a long, stressful, but awesome weekend. There is a lot I’m looking forward to! And costumes! I do love getting to dress up!

Needless to say, these activities will cut into some of the stuff I do on the regular, like posting my Word of the Day and other such fun, but I’m sure I’ll come home with tales to tell.

I hope the weekend has treated you with kindness, Readers! I’m off to finish my coffee and start my packing.

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the blood witch cometh

This morning, I signed the contract for the first book in the Blood Witch saga with my publisher. This means that Thána and friends will be coming your way before the year is out. As always, I’ll be looking for advance readers who would like to read and review the book.

I spent a good chunk of the weekend going over and polishing up book 2 and will be doing the same with book 3 soon. And then, I get to return to book 4.

I hope, as we grow closer to a release to tease with some character introductions, as I’ve done in the past. In the first book that will be Thána and her transgender incubus friend Cambious as the two primary characters. I may do a few shorts on some of the intriguing side characters as well.

Also on my immediate horizon is Star Wars Celebration in Anaheim. I’m absolutely terrified, but also excited. I scored a photo/auto op with Ewan MacGregor! But terrified. Thankfully, they seem to have a good ADA set up with quiet rooms and the like and I should be able to get both me and the nibling ADA access, giving my brother carer access, so that should make things easier.

On that note, my coffee is almost gone, my cats are yelling at me for treats, and the day job awaits, so I’m off into the Tuesday. I hope it is good for you, Readers!

Photo by MaddiesCreation on Unsplash

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the dark side slump

I’ve been meaning to write for days, weeks even. My muse seems to have fled the building, taking all of my creativity and such with her, so it’s been a dry month or so. I managed to mostly do a poem a day for April, only missing a couple of days due to either migraines or other impairment.

I celebrated Star Wars Day yesterday and I’m starting to get excited/anxious about Celebration at the end of the month. Between here and there I have a lot of work and such. I continue to love my day job and working from home continues to be the best thing ever.

I have taken up a new creative hobby in acrylic paint pouring. I’m decorating my house, one abstract masterpiece at a time! It is, however, incredibly addictive and I’m running out of wall space! I’m sure I’ll find someone to gift/sell them to.

I have a lot of thoughts about the current political situation, but I’ll save those for another day.

For this Sith Holy Day (Revenge of the 5th), I have some Death Wish Coffee in my Death Wish Coffee cup, a ton of work meetings on tap, and a kitty who thinks I should play hooky and snuggle her.

I hope you are all safe and sane (ish) and wish you good coffee and tasty foods.

Photo by TOMMY VAN KESSEL on Unsplash

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on war, religion, and faith

I am not a religious person. What I believe doesn’t fit into neat little boxes, or for that matter, a church pew. I am, however, a student of religion because religion shapes our world.

Notice I say religion, not faith. The two can be mutually exclusive. Religion seeks to subjugate, control. Faith is freedom, or it can be. I guess it depends on where you put your faith.

Today, three of the biggest religions are celebrating holy days. I know people of all three religions, all three faiths. They live their faith daily. It is part of who they are and their faith is beautiful. Their religions? Not so much, in my opinion.

Why is that? I think it’s because faith is an individual thing. It lives in a person’s heart. Religion, on the other hand, is a man-made expression of what a group of men said they believed thousands of years ago, modified and codified and made rigid by human beings who maybe started with the best of intentions, then discovered the money and power available to them through the enforcing of said religion.

I don’t begrudge anyone their faith. Believe what is in your heart to believe. I have no desire to stop you.

So, where does the war part come in?

It’s no secret that religion has been used to justify war for centuries and it continues today. Right here in the US there is a concerted religious war on LGBTQ+ folks, on a woman’s right to control her body and on critical thinking. Around the world, religious groups attack other religious groups as they have done since the beginning of time.

And perhaps most jarring to me at this moment in time is the time and money that will be spent in religious celebration while men, women, and children are under siege by a megalomaniac. Not that I expect us all to sit and wring our hands all day every day over what is happening in Ukraine, not at all.

However, it might be nice if those religious leaders would stop praising the megalomaniac, and lead their congregations in support of those fleeing the violence.

Happy Easter/Passover/Ramadan, if you celebrate, Readers. Please keep Ukraine in your thoughts and remember that Kindness Matters.

Photo by Austrian National Library on Unsplash