Category: Thoughts on Writing

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getting back in the swing

Even though I’m largely back to myself, albeit significantly changed by the last year, things still feel kind of stilted and off. Somehow, I never really recognize a depression cycle until I’m coming out the other end.

And really, how did I not think that something like my father’s death would send me down a spiral?

I’m trying to write every day again, though I’m not ready to work on any of the novels I have partially written. I’m trying to at least put words on a page. I’ve even started a new story that I think will be a short story.

Despite the depression and grieving, both of which dialed up my agoraphobia quite a bit, I have done some pleasure travel this year mixed in with all the trips to Tucson.

My mother, brother, and I went to New Orleans in September for 8 days. We had such a great time. And, I was just back there this past weekend for some Halloween fun with friends.

This weekend I need to focus on getting some housework done, this place is a mess. It always gets like this when I’m depressed.

I’m taking a huge step next year and going to a Supernatural convention in SF. I’ve always wanted to go to one, but my agoraphobia makes it super difficult, but I’m in a place now where I can actually afford the high-end tickets and I scored a front-row seat. I both terrified and excited!

So yeah, working my way back to something that resembles a normal life.

You can follow me on Threads and/or Blue Sky and I am still on Instagram.

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therapy in words

When I was in my teens, I wrote poetry daily. Granted, most of it sucked. I was a very different person back then and my exposure to the world was limited to small-town upstate New York and my very religious mind-frame. But, that isn’t the point. The point was in the joy of just writing whatever came to mind.

A good chunk of what I wrote was steeped in the far-right, evangelical Christianity that I was saturated with at the time, but one of the things I learned then was that I could spew my darker emotions, my darkest views of the world, into my poetry as a means of processing those things without poisoning who I was.

It is a lesson I have carried on into my adulthood. A lot of folks who read my poetry ask me about it, about how my poetry doesn’t seem to reflect the person they think of me as. Often it is because poetry is my therapy. And it remains so today.

Sure, I can be fun or silly, or sultry in my poetry as well. But, I think it’s in my darker work that I shine the most, if that makes sense. I pour a lot of who I am into my words and I can spend a long time working over the words I choose to express myself…but sometimes a poem simply falls onto a page and there is no work, only emotion.

That’s why I consider it my therapy, and since going back to writing at least one poem everyday, I’m finding myself on better footing mentally. It feels really good.

Anyway, it’s Friday and payday here in my world, so I’m off to pay bills before starting the day job. I hope this weekend treats you well, Readers, with good food, better coffee and a bit of poetry to decorate your world.

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life, writing, and muddling through

It feels trivial somehow to talk about the mundane aspects of a mundane life when around the world people are suffering and dying in zones of war, bombs falling from the sky, buildings reduced to rubble and scared populations huddle in the dark or flee desperately to foreign lands.

At the same time, for those of us not in that immediate situation, life continues at its regular, mundane pace and so we go on.

In writing news, The Daughters of Morru is now available over on my Patreon page for all Patrons at the Enablers tier ($3 /month) and up. Chapters are posted every Sunday. So far three chapters are available.

I continue in my quest to write a poem per day, with first access to those available on either my Patreon page (for all Patrons $1 and up) and my Ko-Fi page (for all supporters, even 1 time donors). So far I’ve only missed one day, due to an accident that left me a bit concussed and rendered my muse mute.

I continue to settle into the new place, getting a little more comfortable every day. I now have an actual kitchen table and chairs, which I haven’t had in close to ten years. I’m almost feeling like a proper grown up!

I’m hoping my Death Wish Coffee order shows up soon, or I may have to resort to Starbucks this week! Fortunately, there’s a Starbucks walking distance from my house…I just need to find my make up to cover up my bruised up face (I look like someone punched me right between my eyes).

But, it’s almost time to start the day job and I still have today’s poem to write, so I shall leave you to your Tuesday, Readers. I hope it is filled with kindness and good things!

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dream a little dream

Have you ever woken up with your heart racing, sweat on your forehead, and anxiety riding you out of some nightmare that you can’t recall anything about? That was how today started. For the life of me, I have no idea what I was dreaming, but I woke up feeling like something or someone was trying to kill me.

I’ve always been a vivid dreamer, even as a kid, so when I get nightmares, they’re usually just as vivid and they stick with me for days. Just not today.

When I was around 8 through my mid-teens, I had a recurring nightmare about a vampire and my neighbor’s basement. To this day I can remember it vividly. Later my nightmares turned to more mundane fare, with stuff like missed deadlines and having my money stolen and friends betraying me.

Some of that feeds on my imposter syndrome and my weird social hang ups. The rest I chalk up to stress usually. Not sure what was driving whatever dream I had to wake up like that, as most of my stress from the move has died down and I’m pretty happy at the moment.

The subconscious is such a weird and wonderful place, and I rely on it as an author to bring my ideas to life, at least within my head. Without that, I’m not sure I would have all of these delicious stories and characters to write about.

Well, Readers, it’s Saturday and I promised myself some writing time before I get busy with the chores list, so I should finish up this coffee and get to it. Have a great weekend!

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brain monkeys

Sometimes, inspiration is hard to come by, and the imposter syndrome looms large. As I stare into this year with a big move on the immediate horizon and the terrifying prospect of searching for literary representation battling my desire to take my writing career in a forward direction (versus just going with what I know is safe but nowhere near as satisfying), it would be easy to let it all overwhelm me.

I do my damndest to write every day, even if the words suck. Even if it’s only a hundred words or so. Every word written is a weapon against the dark.

As I was writing the Epilogue to the third Blood Witch book over the holidays, I was struck with the notion that there was more to the story, that this trilogy was actually a quartet. So, I started on book four.

As of right now, the plot is a bit nebulous: I know where it begins and I know where it ends, but the middle part remains something of a mystery.

I’ve never been a writer who plots it all out with an outline and all. I mostly let my characters tell me where the story goes, so I’m sometimes surprised.

I’ve been a bit paralyzed by fear in the search for representation. I know these books are kind of in a niche within a niche, which makes it harder, and I know that agents get a ridiculous number of queries, so no answer is not a comment on my work, but that does nothing to quiet the monkeys in my brain.

I think I’ve decided to wait to query anyone else until after the move. In the meantime, I will continue pouring words into book 4, and polishing books 2 & 3. I am pretty happy with book 1 and all of the plot editing is done for 2 & 3, at least until an editor gets their hands on them.

So, here’s to a Tuesday in January of 2022. May it be amazing, Readers, and filled with kindness.

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let them eat cake

I am in the process of edits, which means a lot of reading punctuated with spurts of writing/changing and a fair amount of admiration for writer-me who strung together some pretty decent words.

My writing process goes a little something like this:

  1. Zero-Draft, just get the plot onto the page
  2. Character Study, get the details down for reference
  3. First Edit, smooth out the plot on the page and add description/scene/dialog as needed
  4. Put the book down and work on something else for a while.
  5. Second Edit, clean up typos, fix plot holes
  6. Continuity Edit, make sure character descriptions and the like are consistent
  7. Read the whole thing out loud, fix things as they come up
  8. Polish
  9. Start the next book

I am on step 5 for the second book in the Blood Witch series. I have completed step 1 for book 3. Book 1 is complete (at least until it finds an editor) and I have begun querying agents.

This is kind of the sweet spot for me, the time I am most happy with my writing. I love these characters. I love the world(s) I’ve built. There will still be a period of doubt, when I’m sure the whole thing is crap, but for now, I am wallowing in the love.

I don’t write to get rich or famous. In fact, I’ve made less in royalties in the years I’ve been publishing than I used to make babysitting as a teenager. I write because I have stories to tell, characters to introduce to the world. It’s nice to make a little money, sure. Would it be awesome if everyone loved these stories as much as I do? Sure. But it’s just icing. The cake is where I find satisfaction.

My coffee is almost gone, so I guess it’s time to get back to baking…I mean editing. Happy Sunday, Readers. May it be pleasant.

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ain’t she a character

Sometimes I come here knowing exactly what I want to write about. Other times, I don’t have a clue until I start writing. Today is the latter.

I always come away from Sirens with new inspiration and this year that has become a series of character studies. I’ve always done them for my main characters, but I’m feeling my way through some of my minor characters for the first Blood Witch book.

I think it helps make them more three-dimensional and alive.

For me, a character study begins with physical characteristics, but delves into the person’s background/history as well as their personality. Mine tend to be fairly long, because I usually have a lot to say about a character, even if that never makes it onto the page.

It’s also a continuity tool. If I have complete character studies, I don’t generally have those little errors with things like eye color or height. And, it lets me carry those characters forward into the next book without losing track of things like educational background and such.

I start my character study early, sometimes even before I start writing, and I keep them open or easily accessible as I write so I can add to them as I go along. Then, I review them after I finish a book to make sure I captured all the information that is important.

I also use them while I edit. It helps me make sure I get the little things right.

That’s what I’m working on this weekend, updating character studies with all the good stuff that happened in books two and three before I start edits.

Right after this cup of coffee. Happy Saturday, Readers! And may the Samhain season bring you many blessings.

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inspire me

So, where do the stories come from? What makes a good story? Or…what makes a story good?

As with all art, it is up to the Reader to decide whether a story is good or not, and for many they can’t tell you why they feel that way.

Some of us like to read dark, dystopian stories that let us see that the hell of our reality could be so much worse. Some prefer lighter and brighter stories that let us see a better world/future. Some are in it for a driving plot. Others prefer character driven stories. Some want action. Some want comfort.

When I’m reading I like a lot of different kinds of stories. I am drawn to science fiction and fantasy, especially when the characters are vibrant and relatable, even if they are aliens or elves.

However, when I write, tend to stick a little closer to home. All of my published work, and the current series I’m working on, take place in our world (at least to start). My characters are where my story comes from, what my stories rely on. Without them, there is no story.

So, what makes a good character?

Look at the people in your own life. See them for who they are, all their faults and foibles, all of their joys and triumphs. Each of your characters should be that real. Take your time with them, yes, even the background characters should have their own life.

When I am just getting started with a character, I build what I call a character sheet. It includes name, age, height, build, eye and hair color, etc. Then I will add a short backstory. I have a section for character traits (lazy, loves cocoa, overly casual, etc), and how those traits play out in behavior.

It makes a good reference point while writing, but it also gives me what I need when I read through the story for that character. And yes, I read through each story for each character before it goes to my editor…yes, that can be a lot of read throughs!

Probably 80% or more of what goes onto the character sheet never makes it into the story, other than being in the character. For background characters that can be as high as 90%, but I could pick up that character and write the story from their point of view at any time because I know them that well.

My characters are people. Sometimes I hang out in the bar in my head with them while they tell me who they are.

What about you, Reader? What do you look for when you’re reading?

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let’s build

I get asked fairly often how it is that I do what I do. For a long time I didn’t realize that not everyone has an endless loop of stories in their heads or characters that pull up a chair to have a chat. It seems inconceivable to me and I know that in those brief periods of writer’s block I felt like I was going crazy without them.

Each story starts as either a character who just springs to life in my mind, or as world building. Brain, my muse, loves world building. I have hundreds of partially defined worlds in my head at any given time. Sometimes it starts with a concept, say a universe where corporations govern, or gender-bent Victorian era. Sometimes it begins with a character, say an orphan raised in restrictive religious colony that shuns technology but is herself a technological wonder or a pickpocket who is quick on her feet.

Those are the easy things. The stuff that comes before the writing.

Of course, the challenge then is to populate those worlds with characters that will get the reader’s attention or to find a world for that character to live in.

When it comes to plot, I often start writing without one. The first words I get out tell us something about the character, usually by dropping in on them in the middle of some scenario or situation that may ultimately have nothing to do with the primary plot, but gives us a good idea who this person is.

Most of the time, I let the plot fill itself in as I write. Sure, this means that sometimes I have to do some extensive re-writes to make sure it all comes together, but I find that this is where the story comes to life for me. Sometimes I have specific plot points in mind that I want to hit along the way, but not always.

Of course, because Brain is fond of world building, I sometimes craft these meticulously detailed worlds that then sit idle until the right set of characters come around. I have a notebook full of these, and a folder on my One Drive as well.

Now, if I could just get Brain back to the work of telling this story! I have two weeks until I start my new job to try to finish the zero draft of the third Blood Witch book. My coffee is getting cold, Readers, so I’ll leave you here. Have a fabulous Sunday.

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word-working

Most weekends are set aside as time for writing/editing/other book related ings. Sometimes I dump several thousand words onto a page. Sometimes I strike a couple hundred off the page. Sometimes I tweak little things.

But there also days when I research odd things, fall down a rabbit hole of baby names sites, draw (badly) maps to help me keep directions straight. And then there are days where I’m looking for an agent, or I’m banging on promo work.

Very rarely, I get to use this time just to enjoy my own work, or lose myself into a new project, whether that’s a new book, a short story, a poem.

I do some of these things during the work week too, but I don’t have whole days to devote to them the way I do on the weekend. At least a half hour every day I am poking words in some way, shape or form outside of the wordworking I do in the day job.

This weekend I am diving deep into the world of The Blood Witch, part editing/part writing, as I attempt to patch up some plot holes and get some of the stuck bits moving again.

I love these characters, and this world. I look forward to being able to share them with you all one day.

Have a great Sunday, Readers! Stay safe. Stay cool. Maybe tuck into a lovely book.

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