Tag: coffee

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waiting for daylight

Some mornings, when I can’t sleep, I lay in bed and cuddle kitties while I ponder on some plot or world-building. Eventually, I will get up because the cats want their morning treats and I want coffee.

Today was one of those days. I’m not sure what woke me at 3:30 am, but once I was aware of being awake, I couldn’t go back to sleep. So, with Freya laying on my hip and Morrigan curled up beside me, I lay in bed and considered a few plot points that have been bugging me…at least until my bladder decided it needed my attention most immediately.

The cats have had their treats, and I’m tucked in with a cup of coffee and staring at words on a screen. I’m starting on my next edit pass on book 2, and down to the nitpicky details and minutiae, revving up descriptions of people and places and that sort of thing.

Book 1, meanwhile, has started back on the agent hunt. I’ve queried a few agents in the last few weeks and hang here awaiting responses. This is the part of writing that people who aren’t authors don’t understand, all the waiting and self-promotion (which I suck at).

In other book related news, Amazon has sabotaged my current publisher this week, declaring that they broke some KDP rule, and thus they have pulled all ebooks from that publisher for all of its authors (hundreds). We’re still working on getting this sorted out, but for the moment, ebooks are unavailable for any of my books.

So here I sit, sipping coffee and waiting for daylight when I will gather up my portion of the family dinner and some crochet project, and head out to the family. Between here and there I hope for some words, maybe some breakfast and more kitty cuddles. It isn’t a bad way to start the day.

I hope this day is filled with kindness and love, Readers. Kindness and Love.

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finding gratitude and joy

We come to the time of year when we celebrate yet another problematic American holiday.

Growing up, we’re taught a very sanitized version of the history of the country we call home. We’re taught about the first Thanksgiving in a way that perpetuates the myth of how the white people who are my ancestors were helped by the “friendly” Native Americans as if it was all peaceful and they weren’t taking land that wasn’t theirs to take.

Needless to say, I have mixed feelings about the origins of the holiday, so I tend to focus on it being a day to spend with family and be thankful for the year…well, in normal years anyway.

In the last two years, it might seem hard to be thankful. With so much illness and death, the loss of jobs and livelihoods, the isolation of quarantine and lockdown. So much sorrow to dwell in.

I guess that’s the challenge this week; find all the good, the reasons for joy. Let’s celebrate those things in this week of gratitude. I can’t quite bring myself to celebrate the notion that I’m still here, not when over a quarter of a million of our population has died, but certainly, there are other things I can celebrate.

  1. I found a job that pays me well and suits my talents.
  2. I have begun shopping around my next novel, and the two sequels are in very good shape.
  3. I have approval to work remotely permanently. Pajama pants and hoodies all day every day.
  4. My family is, by and large, healthy.
  5. I am good at what I do and I love what I do.
  6. I have a stack of books to read, and time to read them.
  7. I have some of the most amazing friends in the world…all over the world.
  8. I have a gift for recognizing toxic people very quickly and have learned to disengage.
  9. Coffee. Forever and always.
  10. Fandom that isn’t toxic. I’ve largely withdrawn from most fandom arenas, but there is joy to be found in a fandom about that thing you love. Find it.

I hope this week brings you kindness and joy, gratitude and happiness. You are loved, Reader. Spread that around.

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and now I wait…

This past weekend, I began (again) the search for an agent to represent me and the Blood Witch books. This is one of the things I have always been bad at…this advocating for myself, selling myself. It’s also why I suck at marketing and promotion.

But, if I want to take the next step as an author, this is how it must be done. I submitted to three agents that seemed like a good fit for me and the books…and now I wait.

In the meantime, I am continuing my edit of books 2 & 3 to bring them up to the same level as book 1.

I really believe in these books, in these characters and I can’t wait to share them with the world.

I’m also looking ahead to what comes next, because there’s always “next” and I have all these ideas in my head.

But first, it’s time to get back to the day job. And another cup of coffee.

It’s Wednesday, and I hope it’s wonderful for you.

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out of the fog

I started to write a post about Veterans Day, but got distracted by something and forgot. Story of my life these days. My attention span is not what it used to be.

However, I’m here now. There is a heavy fog laying over my town today. I love the way fog makes you feel isolated and insulated from the world at large. It feels almost magical, like almost anything could emerge from the fog.

I have this image in my head: Fog hides the modern world, and there are just glimpses of buildings or cars, then something stirs. He steps out of the fog. He is tall, his powerful legs covered in fur. The antlers on his head drip with condensation and moss. His beard is full, glistening with the moisture of the day. His hooves make no sound as he approaches and holds out his hand, inviting me to join him.

Not sure if that image will develop into an actual story or not, but it’s there in my head.

I’m writing/editing for a while today, but there are things to do! Places to go! The start of the holiday season has already begun here, with parking lots full and people running madly from store to store. Have they forgotten that the internet exists?

Ugh. I’m all over the place today. My head is spinning with stories and memories and a need for more coffee!

I’ll come back when I have some more cohesive thoughts.

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it’s about time

Is there anything more annoying than all of this daylight savings time nonsense? I mean what purpose does it serve in a modern world? Granted, most of our devices that we use to tell time update automatically these days, and the ones that don’t are easy enough to change, but that’s not the point.

Sure, getting an extra hour on a Sunday in the fall to lay in bed and cuddle kitties isn’t all bad. But then your internal body clock needs to reset too or you’ll be out of sync with your schedule. There’s the hassle of remembering the time differences that change because your loved one lives in Arizona where they don’t change their clocks in some weird effort to create more daytime.

Then come spring we “lose” that hour, causing more confusion, not to mention health problems and car accidents as we rise like zombies for the first few days, our body clocks telling us we should be sleeping, not driving in rush hour traffic.

The time has come to end this ridiculousness. It may have had its place when it was created when most people worked farms and such, but in the world we live in now it causes more harm than good, in my opinion.

We need to do away with it altogether. Let’s stop thinking we can control the daylight and just let time carry on.

Thus ends my rant for today. I need some coffee and I have editing to do! Happy Sunday, Readers, approach it with kindness.

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tripping down memory lane

Memories are odd things sometimes. A smell can transport us back in time. A repetitive motion can take us to another time. A taste can make us feel like we’re back in our mother’s kitchen.

Sometimes it’s just a flash, a sort of deja vu if you will. Other times it seems like you can just steep in the replay of the moment.

Last night something on TV started a landslide of memories from childhood, memories that infiltrated my dreams last night. Of course, being dreams they were weird and all out of order and mixed in with things from what I’d been watching and normal (for me) dream stuff.

I’ll never understand why the subconscious makes the choices it does when populating the dreamscape. Why is my brother like 8 in my dream, but I’m an adult? Why am I a kid on the playground and so is my mother? Why am I suddenly dreaming about people I haven’t thought about in years?

Last night included memories of my first long-term boyfriend, who I haven’t even thought about in a long time. He was my boyfriend my senior year of high school, for a flavor of boyfriend. We didn’t really “date” other than youth group outings and sitting by each other in church.

I woke up thinking I could smell the cheap cologne he used to wear.

We lost touch a long time ago. He joined the Marines and moved away, then we moved out of NY. I drifted away from the faith that had brought us together (we met in youth group), and moved on into creating the life I have now. I can’t imagine how different my life would have been if we had stayed together.

Now that I’ve taken a trip down memory lane, it’s time for more coffee and the day job. I hope your Wednesday is filled with kindness and wonder, Readers.

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ain’t she a character

Sometimes I come here knowing exactly what I want to write about. Other times, I don’t have a clue until I start writing. Today is the latter.

I always come away from Sirens with new inspiration and this year that has become a series of character studies. I’ve always done them for my main characters, but I’m feeling my way through some of my minor characters for the first Blood Witch book.

I think it helps make them more three-dimensional and alive.

For me, a character study begins with physical characteristics, but delves into the person’s background/history as well as their personality. Mine tend to be fairly long, because I usually have a lot to say about a character, even if that never makes it onto the page.

It’s also a continuity tool. If I have complete character studies, I don’t generally have those little errors with things like eye color or height. And, it lets me carry those characters forward into the next book without losing track of things like educational background and such.

I start my character study early, sometimes even before I start writing, and I keep them open or easily accessible as I write so I can add to them as I go along. Then, I review them after I finish a book to make sure I captured all the information that is important.

I also use them while I edit. It helps me make sure I get the little things right.

That’s what I’m working on this weekend, updating character studies with all the good stuff that happened in books two and three before I start edits.

Right after this cup of coffee. Happy Saturday, Readers! And may the Samhain season bring you many blessings.

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the journey begins

It’s early morning at Sirens. My roommates are all sleeping. So is the sun. In a little bit I will get dressed and go looking for coffee. But right now it’s just me and my computer and my thoughts.

There is a lot of emotional baggage confined into the space of a weekend.

There is joy at seeing friends after so long apart. There is anxiety over COVID. There is sadness and grief for those who have died. There is anticipation for panels and workshops and finding new books and new authors and new friends.

It’s a lot to process.

Last night’s key note by one of the guests of honor was wonderful, looking at villainy and redemption and how different they look because of a character’s gender. She used several examples, including Maleficent and Cruella and the Joker.

It’s not something I’ve ever really considered, really. How we accept a redemption arc for man as a victory, and yet for a woman it’s about her submission to the societal norms. How recent attempts at redemption for Maleficent and Cruella didn’t so much try to redeem them into say a heroine, but instead offer us a backstory meant to soften our understanding of them as the villain of the piece.

Suddenly, seeing Maleficent as a child, and how she was wronged, we’re meant to empathize and understand what we previously saw as villainous behavior.

I think this weekend will stire up a lot of very thinky thoughts, Readers!

I hope yours is filled with kindness and revelations. Now, bring me my coffee!!!

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how an introverted agoraphobe travels

I am nearly completely packed up for my weekend trip to Denver, just need to stick my journal and a pen in the backpack, and double check my electronics. I’ve checked into the hotel. I will be checking into my flight in about 20 minutes. I have a full work day ahead of me.

This is probably the least anxious moment in my travel. Until I achieve all of the check-ins, I’m a ball of anxiety fretting about what will go wrong. But, now is the calm of knowing I have the plans in place, and with that, knowing I can go with the flow.

Tomorrow will kickstart the actual travel anxiety: What if I don’t get to the airport on time? What if I miss my train? Miss my flight? What if the plane has a problem? What if there are anti-maskers on the plane? What if someone with COVID coughs in my face? What if…etc. Oh, and my brain can manufacture the most outrageous scenarios to worry over. It’s kind of ridiculous, really.

Then, once in Denver, there’s the “What if I can’t find my friends in the airport?” and “What if we can’t find the hotel?” (which is silly because GPS and we’ve been there before), etc.

But! Once we’ve gotten to the hotel, gotten into our room and found the conference registration? Then it’s a weekend of mostly relaxation. Sure, there will be moments of panic/fear/needing to hide. There always is. And when I come home on Sunday, there will be a few days of hiding and recharging.

I control what I can so that I can let go of what is outside my control. My flight, my car, my hotel.

Oh, and double checking that the Death Wish Instant coffee is in my suitcase. I do need my coffee, you know.

I should get to that day job thing. And maybe second coffee.

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zero drafts and idle hands

Yesterday I completed the zero draft for the third Blood Witch book. This is a pretty huge accomplishment, even if there is still a lot of work to do. This means I have all three in some state of “done” and it’s time to run back to the beginning with my notes of all the changes that need to be made in books one and two.

Of the three of these, I think the middle book came the easiest and there were a lot of times struggling through book three felt like I was trying to push my way through frozen molasses.

Book one is the most complete and polished. Three is the least.

I guess this is what comes of trying to write during the apocalypse. I am glad I didn’t push out book one when I thought it was done, because some of the changes and tweaks I need to make to better set up two and three will also make book one better.

I’ve settled on tentative titles, but realize that a publisher may suggest changes.

So where does that leave me, here on a Monday morning before the dawn? To be honest, I’m running through my packing list for Sirens in my head (still need to do meds/makeup/toiletries/electronics). I’d like to say I’m not going to poke any of the three books until after Sirens, but I won’t promise. After all, I can’t seem to sleep past 5am these days, and I need something to do with my hands.

But that does remind me that it’s Monday, and I have to stop working early to go get a COVID test, so it must be time to suck down some Death Wish Coffee, put on my tech writing cape and crown and get to it.

Have a wonderful Monday, Readers! Treat yourself with kindness and love.

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