Category: Thoughts on Writing

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sleep, glorious sleep…or lack thereof

For most of my adult life I have had bouts of insomnia.  There are just times when my body isn’t tired or my brain won’t turn off.  They used to be nights of no sleep.  Lately, they have been nights of sleeping super hard and deep for two to three hours, then waking up and off goes my brain into hyper space.

Some nights I lay there plotting, or fixing plot holes, or world building.  Some nights I lay in bed and stare at YouTube until my eyes close again…or more often, until I’ve come to the conclusion that we are done sleeping (we being me and my brain), and I get up, start some coffee and go sit at the computer hoping to get some of whatever I was plotting or building down on paper.

Last night I was awake around 1:30am, for no apparent reason that I could see, and my brain took off plotting the second book in the Blood Witch story.  There’s a whole new world, you see, that needs proper world building attention!  I watched Bob Ross paint for a while and started to doze, but as soon as I turned him off again, I was awake.

Took a while to finally sleep again, but sleep I did.  For at least an hour and a half.  Having no clue what time I went to bed last night, I’m not sure how much sleep I actually ended up getting, but I guess that’s what coffee is for.

And that coffee is tasting mighty good right now.  I’m taking the day off of the job hunt for an outing with my sister-in-law and niece, which I suppose means I have to wear real clothes, and I probably should finish cleaning out the car.  Part of my Disneybound costume from January is still in the back seat.

So, I’m going back to my coffee before it gets cold.  I hope Wednesday is wonderful and filled with blessings for you, Readers.

 

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the impostor

My beta readers have started to come back with their feedback on the zero draft of The Blood Witch, a thing that always makes me both nervous and excited at the same time.  A lot of people think that writing the book is the hard part, but for me it is always that first flush of feedback.

This is the time when impostor syndrome ratchets up my anxiety into the stratosphere.  What if I’m wrong and the story sucks?  What if people are lying to me about my ability to write?  What if none of them like it?

Then when the actual feedback starts coming in, I have to work overtime to keep my brain from saying “See, I told you.  You suck.  Even they think so,” when in fact the feedback is largely positive, with the bits each reader thought needed more information, or didn’t quite work, which is, after all, the reason for beta readers.  Eyes other than mine, able to pick out the places where the story needs work.

Some of what I’ve heard so far are things I knew, things already on my list of “needs fixing” and/or “needs work”.  Some of it comes from folks who are not US natives, which helps a lot, because I don’t think about things like “non-US folk won’t know how our foster care system works” while I’m writing.

I’m still waiting for a few folks, so I’m not going to start edits just yet, just update my lists and maybe start a read through of my own to add to those lists as well.

The day job continues to be elusive for the moment, but I’m hoping something is coming my way soon.  Had a pretty decent interview on Friday, and I submitted a bunch of applications in the last few days, including one to Lucasfilm for an editing position (fingers crossed).

Did you remember to spring forward this morning?  It’s later than you think it is!  Time for coffee and a peruse of Facebook and Linked In before I go start some laundry and other fun chores.

Happy Sunday, Readers!  May it rain kindness upon you.

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words and witchery

This week I finished the zero draft of The Blood Witch!  It is currently in the hands of my first beta reader. No matter how many times I finish writing a book, it always comes with a thrill of accomplishment.

This book was born two years ago while at Sirens.  The main character, Thána Alizon, came to me fully whole.  I knew who she was, what her backstory was, and where the story would take her.  I wasn’t sure how we were going to get there, but that’s what the writing process is all about, getting from here to there.

Thána took a back seat for a while as I worked on another project, which got shelved last November when I decided to make The Blood Witch my nanowrimo project, just to see if I could get it up on its feet.

NANO was a success, pushing The Blood Witch to within spitting distance of the final climax and resolution.  December, however, when I wanted to be writing, there were a bazillion obligations and stresses that kept me from writing.  The same for January.  I guess the blessing in not working right now was that it afforded me the time to finish.  I wrote the last ten thousand words over the course of about two days.

Of course, writing a book is only the beginning.  The hard work comes after the last word is on the page.  There’s beta readers/critique partners who are the first to see the raw manuscript, a first edit pass, a second edit pass, then comes submission time, and this time around I plan on querying agents to try a more traditional publishing path, which I’ve never done, so I have no idea how long that will take.

Once the agent sells the book to a publisher, there’s another round or two of edits, cover design, etc.  It can take a year to go from purchased manuscript to a book out in the wilds.  The road is long, and the pay isn’t great, if you get paid at all, unless you manage to hit it big.

But, the satisfaction in finishing that zero draft is still there, even if it never sells.

Happy Thursday, Readers.  I’m out of coffee, so I guess that means it’s time to get some stuff done on the job hunting front.

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taking the next step

I’m sitting here in the dark, quiet morning, sipping on coffee and getting words down on the page.  In a little bit I will go dig at the job boards and such for new, exciting places to submit my resume to, but for now it’s just me and my story.

Yesterday was a good writing day with close to five thousand words by the time I was done, and that was largely the climax of the book.  I love when words come so easily.  I’m not far from done with my zero draft now.

My love for these characters is large.  My MC is more like me than any other character I have ever written, or maybe she’s more like the me I wanted to be.  Either way, she is maybe my favorite character since Amara in Forever.

Once I’m done, I’ll compile the project (I’m working in Scrivener as an experiment) and export it to a word or pdf document and have a couple beta readers give it a good read to identify anything too out there, too unbelievable and plot holes.

Then it will be time for my first edit pass.  After that, I’ll pay a professional editor to give it a good working over.  And another edit pass.  At that point, I’ll be ready to start querying agents, which I’ve never done and is rather terrifying. But it’s time to take the next step in my writing career.

Happy Monday, Readers!  I need more coffee.

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not set in stone

My weekends are often filled with words and characters, along with cleaning and laundry and errands.  I tend to do my best writing first thing in the morning, when I’m fresh from dreams and have a big cup of coffee steaming in front of me.  I try to give writing a good four hours on both Saturday and Sunday, before I get up and get started on other things.

Today is no exception.  I managed to sleep in a little bit, not crawling out of bed until eight this morning, but I’ve been at the computer since, pounding on the keys.  I’ve spent a little time also pounding the digital pavement, since I’m still looking for work, but since I’ve done that every day this week, there weren’t many jobs I hadn’t already seen, so it’s back to making words.

Today’s words are in something of a transitional chapter, which I always struggle with.  There are things that need to happen to get us to where the next chapter begins, but it’s not specifically plot driven, just a bunch of moments that need to be hit to set up the climax.  This makes this chapter a bit of a struggle, because I want to just jump ahead to get on with the plot.

But, it’s one of those things, I can write it now and have it inform the next chapter, or I can jump ahead and come back to this later, likely having to force things to fit and then re-write the next chapter anyway.  Might as well stick it out and try to get it done.  Maybe if I finish this chapter today, I can start tomorrow’s writing where I wish I were today.

Maybe.

Of course, knowing the character telling this story, we might end up taking a side turn that I didn’t plan.  One of the joys of being someone who lets the story tell itself, rather than setting the plot in stone before you begin.

I can’t wait to introduce you all to her, Readers.  I think you’re going to like her.

On that note, back to the words.  Have a wonderful Saturday!

 

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writing life

You know you’re a writer when…so many things could follow that opening phrase, but for me lately the big one is, “You know you’re a writer when you wake up in the middle of the night with bits of plot chasing bits of dialog begging to be put down on the page.”

Every night this week, somewhere around 2am, I wake up with my Brain putting together words to flesh out some bit of dialog or battling through some plot hole or point that I’ve been fighting with.  While that’s nice and all, it would be nicer if it would come at a reasonable time…like when I’m already at the computer.

I have always been one to spin tales almost as easily as I breathe, and any time I can not write for at least fifteen minutes a day I get very cranky and not a fun person to spend time with.  It doesn’t matter what it is I’m writing, just that I’m exercising that part of myself regularly.

Currently I am focused on finishing my zero draft of The Blood Witch and recruiting two or three beta readers to give it a once over to make sure I’ve closed up all of the plot holes and chased all of the inconsistencies out of the final product.  That is especially an important aspect when the story started out as a short story idea, mostly just an exploration of a character, and grew, changed, grew again and then the whole thing morphed into what it is becoming right now.  There is at least one early chapter that I know will need a lot of work to catch the inconsistencies born of the way I got to this point.

I am, however, very happy with the story as it stands, rough patches and all.  I hope to wrap it all up in the next few weeks, so if you have the time and inclination to offer services as a beta reader, and are willing to share your honest assessment of the plot and characters with me to help guide me through the next draft, reach out and let me know.

With that, I’m off to refill my coffee cup and get on to the day job.  Have a lovely Tuesday, Readers, and remember that kindness matters!

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writing is therapy

I make now secret of the gastric bypass surgery I had a year ago, or how that has altered my life. It’s weird really what changes and what doesn’t.  I mean, I still love food, and would love to eat all of the food all of the time, but the difference is that I no long am physically capable of eating all the food.

I love buying clothes now, something I have always dreaded, and exercise is, by and large, enjoyable when I’m not dealing with other chronic issues.  Now that my day job has moved offices, we’re around the corner from a Planet Fitness so I can hit the gym at least a few times per week, which is great.  All my other gym options are things I have to get in my car to get to…which is okay, if you’re the kind of person who will do that when they get home from a long day at work.  I am not that kind of person.

I’m also doing some PT to fix my “wandering patella” problem, all of which means that today I am sore in new and unique places and ways.

But, a thing I had read about, but thought I wouldn’t have to battle, is the mental inability to process the images I see in the mirror.  Kind of like when someone with an eating disorder looks in the mirror and they see a hideous fat person even though they are the furthest thing from fat, when I look in the mirror, most of the time I see that same 350 pound woman I was when this whole journey started.

Don’t get me wrong, I know on some level that it isn’t true.  And, I love that 350 pound woman just as much as I love this 200 pound woman I have become.  But the cognitive dissonance is an amazing phenomena.  I sit here typing this little exploration of self and all I can see is my big fat belly, which is no where near as fat as it once was, and even though I’m wearing leggings that are XL instead of 5X, and a shirt that is 2X and big on me, I am dissatisfied.

I see my surgeon on the 29th, and I hope to have finally dropped under that 200 mark by then.  Looking further ahead, I have an Austin trip in early August, and my hope is to be at or under 175 by then.

And believe me when I tell you, Readers, all of the psychological observations coming out of this journey and all of the sense of self, even as that self is undergoing lots of changes, will find itself woven into a story at some point.  After all, writing is my therapy!

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by the seat of my pants

I don’t think anyone who knows me would be surprised by the fact that I kind of fly by the seat of my pants when I write.  Oh, I usually have a few established plot points in mind when I start, some targets to hit along the way, but sometimes all I have is a character or an ending, and the rest comes along as I write.

Unsurprisingly, this usually means that I end up having to do some heavy editing once the first draft is done, and I already have a pretty lengthy list of things I need to go back and fix as I sit here around sixty thousand words on The Blood Witch.  Some things I fix on the fly, but most I just make note of and keep moving, so I don’t get trapped in an endless edit loop and never finish the zero draft.

For me, getting the story down is more important than getting it *right* the first time through.  I can edit and finesse and dress up later.  First I need to get the bare bones down.  Sure, I have some phrases and entire scenes that come out perfect the first time through, but more often than not, those will end up cut out as the story evolves and get tucked away in a file in the dark recesses of the computer to be played with from time to time.

Over time, as the plot develops, I become more and more sure of the ending, and how to get there.  I’m at that place right now where I can see the ending, and I know a bunch of the plot points I need to get there, and really, I just need to sit my ass down and write.  If only I could squeeze out a few more hours in my day!

I’m hoping to write for as many as six hours per day on the weekends, and a half hour to an hour, minimum, per day through the week…I just need to figure out how to manage that with the day job, the freelance job, the gym, the commute, the housework, etc.

Speaking of, I should get back to it before the day gets away from me or I get buried under the mountain of laundry. Happy Sunday, Readers!

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Photo by Uwe Jelting on Unsplash

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there will be blood

National Novel Writing Month. NaNoWrMo.  I’m pretty sure every writer I know has done it at least once.  I’ve played a few times, but never found it super productive, and so I haven’t done it in a few years.

However, a number of my Sirens sisters are doing Nano this year, and I’m hot on working on the Blood Witch novel, so I figured it would be a good way to enhance my focus to finish my zero draft by the end of the month.

If you are interested in being buddies on NaNo, I’m NatalieJCase over there.

I’m usually better writing under deadline, rather than being left to my own pace.  I tend to dawdle and procrastinate!

I’m also giving Scrivener another trial.  So far I’m meh on it, but as I build up some of the notes and such I may like it better.  I just started chapter eleven this morning!

I had forgotten how much I loved these characters.  I hope you will love them too!

With that note, I am off for more coffee and to get this work day started.  Be safe and be kind, Readers!

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reading, writing and resumes

Oops, I haven’t posted in a while!  Sorry about that.  I don’t even have a good excuse!  Life has been busy, but that’s almost always true.  So, what’s been happening?  Well, next week is Sirens is happening next week and our benefit anthology is out now!

heroes and hellions cover

Heroes and Hellions is a collection of short stories and poetry that explores what it is to be a hero and where the line blurs.

Your purchase goes to support the Sirens conference.  If you appreciate some badass speculative fiction from some badass folks you should pick it up.

In other news, I got email recently from someone who will be recording my first novel, Forever!  Audio book incoming, for all of you Readers who have been asking.

I’m hoping that I’ll be able to get back into a writing habit with the conference next week.  I think I’ve been a bit stymied because I have too many stories in my head competing for attention.

 

Aside from all of that, and bouncing between three different novels in progress, I’m still sending out resumes, looking for that company who needs me and all I have to offer.  For now, I’m slugging my way through a contract position that is not my favorite, but is paying the bills.

Speaking of which, I should get to it.  Lots of editing to do!  And my coffee is getting cold.  Happy Wednesday, Readers.  Go out and be recklessly kind!

 

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