Tag: inspiration

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tripping down memory lane

Memories are odd things sometimes. A smell can transport us back in time. A repetitive motion can take us to another time. A taste can make us feel like we’re back in our mother’s kitchen.

Sometimes it’s just a flash, a sort of deja vu if you will. Other times it seems like you can just steep in the replay of the moment.

Last night something on TV started a landslide of memories from childhood, memories that infiltrated my dreams last night. Of course, being dreams they were weird and all out of order and mixed in with things from what I’d been watching and normal (for me) dream stuff.

I’ll never understand why the subconscious makes the choices it does when populating the dreamscape. Why is my brother like 8 in my dream, but I’m an adult? Why am I a kid on the playground and so is my mother? Why am I suddenly dreaming about people I haven’t thought about in years?

Last night included memories of my first long-term boyfriend, who I haven’t even thought about in a long time. He was my boyfriend my senior year of high school, for a flavor of boyfriend. We didn’t really “date” other than youth group outings and sitting by each other in church.

I woke up thinking I could smell the cheap cologne he used to wear.

We lost touch a long time ago. He joined the Marines and moved away, then we moved out of NY. I drifted away from the faith that had brought us together (we met in youth group), and moved on into creating the life I have now. I can’t imagine how different my life would have been if we had stayed together.

Now that I’ve taken a trip down memory lane, it’s time for more coffee and the day job. I hope your Wednesday is filled with kindness and wonder, Readers.

Photo by Laura Fuhrman on Unsplash

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inspire me

So, where do the stories come from? What makes a good story? Or…what makes a story good?

As with all art, it is up to the Reader to decide whether a story is good or not, and for many they can’t tell you why they feel that way.

Some of us like to read dark, dystopian stories that let us see that the hell of our reality could be so much worse. Some prefer lighter and brighter stories that let us see a better world/future. Some are in it for a driving plot. Others prefer character driven stories. Some want action. Some want comfort.

When I’m reading I like a lot of different kinds of stories. I am drawn to science fiction and fantasy, especially when the characters are vibrant and relatable, even if they are aliens or elves.

However, when I write, tend to stick a little closer to home. All of my published work, and the current series I’m working on, take place in our world (at least to start). My characters are where my story comes from, what my stories rely on. Without them, there is no story.

So, what makes a good character?

Look at the people in your own life. See them for who they are, all their faults and foibles, all of their joys and triumphs. Each of your characters should be that real. Take your time with them, yes, even the background characters should have their own life.

When I am just getting started with a character, I build what I call a character sheet. It includes name, age, height, build, eye and hair color, etc. Then I will add a short backstory. I have a section for character traits (lazy, loves cocoa, overly casual, etc), and how those traits play out in behavior.

It makes a good reference point while writing, but it also gives me what I need when I read through the story for that character. And yes, I read through each story for each character before it goes to my editor…yes, that can be a lot of read throughs!

Probably 80% or more of what goes onto the character sheet never makes it into the story, other than being in the character. For background characters that can be as high as 90%, but I could pick up that character and write the story from their point of view at any time because I know them that well.

My characters are people. Sometimes I hang out in the bar in my head with them while they tell me who they are.

What about you, Reader? What do you look for when you’re reading?

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quoth the raven, nevermore

Are you as bored as I am, Readers?  You are probably tired of blog posts about the virus and how we’re coping.  I get that.  So, here’s a video I did yesterday with me all dressed up and reading some Edgar Allan Poe to start us off.

In other news, I’m trying to get my juices flowing to start working on The Blood Witch again.  Yesterday I tried printing it out to make notes and what-not the old fashioned way, but I ran out of paper, and since it isn’t strictly necessary, I guess I’m back to doing this on the computer.

I got some great feedback from my beta readers, and hope that their notes will help me take this thing to the next level.  I really love this story and these characters.  I can’t wait until I can share them with all of you.

I’m going to plug my YouTube Channel and my Author’s Page on Facebook here.  All of my live readings will be done on the Facebook page, so give it a like to stay up to date and to get notified when I go live.  The YouTube channel will host the recordings of those readings after the live reading is done.

All of this reading of poetry has also kickstarted my poetic muse, and I’ve been scribbling away.  Maybe I’ll come out the other side of this with a whole new book of poetry for you!

Stay safe, Readers!  And Happy April.  Let’s hope it isn’t as long as March was.

Cover Photo by Kasturi Roy on Unsplash

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the bored and the restless

It’s been a tough week, Readers.  I’ve had some really down days and I am struggling my way out.  I am currently fighting off a serious restlessness.  This is the time of year when I most crave travel.

I want to throw some clothes and road food into the car, pack up my camera and go find some off the road hidden hideaway, picnic beside the ocean or a waterfall, fill up a memory card with pictures of moving water and sand and rocks and green, green grass.

Alas, it isn’t happening any time soon.

Instead, I’m tripping my way through various “virtual tours” of places I long to go, and I’m puttering around in my “garden” on my patio.  I have containers filled with succulents that have been loving the rain and not-too-cold temps, plus one salvia that got a little battered in the winds this past month and a lily of the valley that is finally blooming.  Oh, and a couple of containers with gladiolas that my mother gave me last year.  No blooms on them yet, but I’m hopeful.

I think I’ve probably watched every documentary on history or crime or nature or any mix thereof available on Netflix or Amazon.  I think today I will turn to Disney+ for my entertainment.

How are you coping, Readers?  Is there a great book you’d recommend?  Or maybe some documentary or “based on a true story” movie I might have missed?  Do you want me to do another poetry reading?  Maybe some Edgar Allan Poe?

I have to admit I have a deep and abiding love for the way Mr. Poe put words together.  I often read him aloud just for myself.  There is a story of his that I rediscovered recently that I am consider reading on a Facebook live called “Some Words With a Mummy” and I would love to share it with all of you.

For now though, I will return you to whatever you were doing, and I’ll head out to try to find something I haven’t watched yet…or fall back on rewatching old favorites.

Please be safe, stay home, wash your hands and do something kind for yourself today.  I love you all.

Cover Photo by Océane George on Unsplash

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this is not the dystopian future I imagined

Hello, Readers!  I hope you are all taking good care of yourself as we isolate ourselves and hope this virus situation doesn’t get any worse.  I’m trying to stay optimistic, but I’ll admit it can be hard.

It’s so weird to see the traffic map completely green!  I’ve been in the SF Bay Area for twenty years, and I’ve never seen it before!  My town, which is normally filled with people out walking is a ghost town.

As someone who has read a LOT of dystopian stories, I’ll admit, when I considered what our future might look like, how our society would fall apart, I did not have my money on virus-caused-economy-crash.

So, how are you occupying your time, Readers?  I hope you have coffee and good books to read.  I’m still job hunting, and in a time like this there are still a lot of job postings, but not so much with the hiring.  It’s going to get worse before it gets better, so remember to wash your hands, stop touching your face, and take care of one another.

This crisis can make us better people, if we let it.  It is already helping out Mother Earth.  Check in on the elderly and vulnerable in your neighborhoods, and remember to keep your distance.

Meanwhile, I have a short story to write and a novel to start editing.  Hopefully some more editing work will be coming my way soon.  Happy Friday, my friends.

Photo by Jeffrey Blum on Unsplash

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not set in stone

My weekends are often filled with words and characters, along with cleaning and laundry and errands.  I tend to do my best writing first thing in the morning, when I’m fresh from dreams and have a big cup of coffee steaming in front of me.  I try to give writing a good four hours on both Saturday and Sunday, before I get up and get started on other things.

Today is no exception.  I managed to sleep in a little bit, not crawling out of bed until eight this morning, but I’ve been at the computer since, pounding on the keys.  I’ve spent a little time also pounding the digital pavement, since I’m still looking for work, but since I’ve done that every day this week, there weren’t many jobs I hadn’t already seen, so it’s back to making words.

Today’s words are in something of a transitional chapter, which I always struggle with.  There are things that need to happen to get us to where the next chapter begins, but it’s not specifically plot driven, just a bunch of moments that need to be hit to set up the climax.  This makes this chapter a bit of a struggle, because I want to just jump ahead to get on with the plot.

But, it’s one of those things, I can write it now and have it inform the next chapter, or I can jump ahead and come back to this later, likely having to force things to fit and then re-write the next chapter anyway.  Might as well stick it out and try to get it done.  Maybe if I finish this chapter today, I can start tomorrow’s writing where I wish I were today.

Maybe.

Of course, knowing the character telling this story, we might end up taking a side turn that I didn’t plan.  One of the joys of being someone who lets the story tell itself, rather than setting the plot in stone before you begin.

I can’t wait to introduce you all to her, Readers.  I think you’re going to like her.

On that note, back to the words.  Have a wonderful Saturday!

 

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writing is therapy

I make now secret of the gastric bypass surgery I had a year ago, or how that has altered my life. It’s weird really what changes and what doesn’t.  I mean, I still love food, and would love to eat all of the food all of the time, but the difference is that I no long am physically capable of eating all the food.

I love buying clothes now, something I have always dreaded, and exercise is, by and large, enjoyable when I’m not dealing with other chronic issues.  Now that my day job has moved offices, we’re around the corner from a Planet Fitness so I can hit the gym at least a few times per week, which is great.  All my other gym options are things I have to get in my car to get to…which is okay, if you’re the kind of person who will do that when they get home from a long day at work.  I am not that kind of person.

I’m also doing some PT to fix my “wandering patella” problem, all of which means that today I am sore in new and unique places and ways.

But, a thing I had read about, but thought I wouldn’t have to battle, is the mental inability to process the images I see in the mirror.  Kind of like when someone with an eating disorder looks in the mirror and they see a hideous fat person even though they are the furthest thing from fat, when I look in the mirror, most of the time I see that same 350 pound woman I was when this whole journey started.

Don’t get me wrong, I know on some level that it isn’t true.  And, I love that 350 pound woman just as much as I love this 200 pound woman I have become.  But the cognitive dissonance is an amazing phenomena.  I sit here typing this little exploration of self and all I can see is my big fat belly, which is no where near as fat as it once was, and even though I’m wearing leggings that are XL instead of 5X, and a shirt that is 2X and big on me, I am dissatisfied.

I see my surgeon on the 29th, and I hope to have finally dropped under that 200 mark by then.  Looking further ahead, I have an Austin trip in early August, and my hope is to be at or under 175 by then.

And believe me when I tell you, Readers, all of the psychological observations coming out of this journey and all of the sense of self, even as that self is undergoing lots of changes, will find itself woven into a story at some point.  After all, writing is my therapy!

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Today’s the day!  It’s Star Wars day!  I have a ticket to see The Rise of Skywalker at 5pm tonight.  I am super excited, and also fairly anxious.  I mean, this story has been a part of my life since I was 9 years old.  It has helped to shape who I am as a story teller, as a writer.  It has helped shape me, how I look at the world around me, how I stand up for what I believe in, how I resist and rebel.

It will also be the final movie to have Carrie Fisher in it.  I’m excited to see what they have done with the footage they were able to piece together, but I know that I’m going to be a weepy, crying mess of a geek right from the start.  In fact, I tear up just thinking about it.

In other Star Wars news, there is a very talented lady in the Phillipines who creates portraits from a picture you provide, but she makes you into a Star Wars character.  I asked her to draw me as General Organa, as we first see her in The Force Awakens. This was the result:

me as leia.jpg

Isn’t it fabulous?  Her name is Danielle Balanga, and you can find her on Facebook.

With that, I should get myself back to work on the day job.  And my coffee.  Always my coffee.  I shall leave you with this, dearest Readers:

MTFBWY

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As a writer, I look at every experience as an opportunity to learn human behavior, to observe from the sidelines as the world goes on around me.  I mean, sure I get frustrated and even angry with things, but even then a part of my brain is taking in the color and cataloging characters in the never-ending expanse that is my “things to write” filing system.

This weekend, as my mother and I engaged in a little retail therapy at the local mall, I had ample eye candy to keep my brain chugging…from the flamboyant and awesome folks at Hot Topic, to the mother who would not keep her kids from screaming at deafening decibels while we were trying to have lunch, to the bored elves with a Santa with no one coming to see him (I tried to convince my mother she should go have turn, but she refused).

We shopped stores I haven’t been into in years.  To be fair, I do most of my shopping online these days, so going to a store is rare.  And going to a mall is rarer still.  We hit up Barnes & Noble, the afore mentioned Hot Topic, Bed Bath & Beyond and Dillards.

I haven’t been into a Dillards since I lived in El Paso, and they had closed all of them before we left there.

For being a Sunday in December, it was not very busy, and it gave us both a chance to forget the holiday frustrations for a while and just shop.  I spent far too much money for someone who said she was done Christmas shopping before Thanksgiving!  Especially in BB&B…I LOVE their candles, and they were having their sale…got a few favorite scents and a couple of new ones…because CANDLES.  Have I mentioned my love of tiny flames?  Especially this time of year.  I have candles burning pretty much every night in December, reminding the sun that we need him here, and enticing him to return.

I did manage not to buy ALL of Barnes & Noble, which, considering I was shopping with my number one enabler, is a small miracle.  But, now it’s back to the daily grind and my cup of coffee.

Hope your week is fabulous, Readers!!

 

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time to make the words

I’m sitting here on Sunday morning, in my nice flannel PJs, sipping on some coffee and working on waking up enough to write.  Today’s writing agenda is to start/finish chapter thirteen, get the plot moving and step up to the next thing on the vague sort of journey in my head.

Of course, being a working woman with no one to help with other important things, today’s agenda also includes laundry doing, kitchen and bathroom cleaning and tons of other fun house chores.  There is the added bonus of having Monday off, so I get extra writing time this weekend.

Yesterday I worked in sprints of twenty five minutes, twenty five cleaning, twenty five writing.  I may up that to forty-five minutes each today, see if it gets me out of the weeds.  I’m also going to be making some beef stew, once I get the kitchen clean up that is.

Meanwhile, this is what is keeping me company through this whole weekend.  The album just dropped this week, from my friend Steve Carlson and his friend Jensen Ackles (yes, that Jensen Ackles).  I’ve known this was in the works for a while, and have been looking forward to it anxiously.  It was totally worth the wait.  If you like a little gothic southern rock mixed with a heavy does of blues and jazz notes and some AMAZING vocals, check this out.  You can get it on Spotify and iTunes and probably a bunch of other places.

If you dig it, you can check out the band’s website for cool merch and to get the album on vinyl.  Someone find me a record player!  My favorite is probably Drowning, but I love Cannonball and Sounds of Someday too.  Hell, I love it all, so I’ll be over here with the volume cranked up to 11 while I clean.

Happy Sunday, Readers.  Time to make the words.

 

Photo by Patrick Tomasso on Unsplash