Tag: Samhain

Posted on by — Leave a comment

when the veil is thin

Samhain seems a fitting time to be closing out a life, remembering a man who was strong and vibrant and saying goodbye. My relationship with my father was not always an easy one. We are both headstrong and opinionated, and when those opinions differed, things could get heated.

I had a period in my life where I blamed him for everything. I went years not spending time with him. Ultimately though, I grew up and realized that most of what I blamed him for wasn’t his fault at all.

I have spent a good chunk of the time between his passing and now looking at his life through music and pictures. There are a lot of memories tied up in music for me, and the images of his life remind me of how much I loved to see him laugh and smile.

I’m also reminded what a handsome fella he was back in the day.

My belief about what comes after this mortal life is a bit in flux, whether we come back to try again, or take our rest among those who came before…or whether we fade to black. I guess I’m more invested in what we do with this life than I am in some ethereal eternity. But I do hope that whatever it is, my old man is at peace.

I hope I can make him proud as we move through the Celebration of Life this weekend, and find our way out to the “new normal”…the one without him on the other end of a phone call.

Tomorrow morning I get on a plane and head back to Tucson to say goodbye. I anticipate a lot of tears and hugs and warm words from people I didn’t know, but my dad did. He was a gregarious guy and he made friends everywhere he went.

I’m going to miss him. A lot.

Posted on by — Leave a comment

ain’t she a character

Sometimes I come here knowing exactly what I want to write about. Other times, I don’t have a clue until I start writing. Today is the latter.

I always come away from Sirens with new inspiration and this year that has become a series of character studies. I’ve always done them for my main characters, but I’m feeling my way through some of my minor characters for the first Blood Witch book.

I think it helps make them more three-dimensional and alive.

For me, a character study begins with physical characteristics, but delves into the person’s background/history as well as their personality. Mine tend to be fairly long, because I usually have a lot to say about a character, even if that never makes it onto the page.

It’s also a continuity tool. If I have complete character studies, I don’t generally have those little errors with things like eye color or height. And, it lets me carry those characters forward into the next book without losing track of things like educational background and such.

I start my character study early, sometimes even before I start writing, and I keep them open or easily accessible as I write so I can add to them as I go along. Then, I review them after I finish a book to make sure I captured all the information that is important.

I also use them while I edit. It helps me make sure I get the little things right.

That’s what I’m working on this weekend, updating character studies with all the good stuff that happened in books two and three before I start edits.

Right after this cup of coffee. Happy Saturday, Readers! And may the Samhain season bring you many blessings.

Photo by Mariana Medvedeva on Unsplash

Posted on by — Leave a comment

planting bulbs of growth

With the approach of Samhain, I’ve been thinking a lot about what I want out of the coming year. The last two years have been among the most difficult in my memory, or at least that’s the way they feel to me right now. I know we tend to romanticize the past which casts today in the role of being more real, but really, look at what we’ve lived through in recent years.

So, what do I want?

There are the things I always want: to get out of debt, to lose weight, to become a best selling author…but for me, for this year, I want to address things that are tangible, that are attainable.

I feel I am in a good place as I face into the next rotation around the sun. I’m in a good job with good people doing work that I enjoy. I have what I need and a lot of what I want. What would make life better?

More organization, especially around the house.

Stop procrastinating, especially the little things.

Spend more time with friends, which is necessarily impacted by the pandemic and my own agoraphobia.

Read more. I have a stack of books in my TBR pile that I’ve been meaning to read all year, but I’ve been hampered by the notion that the time spent reading should be spent doing something more productive.

I haven’t nailed down what I’m planting this Samhain, clearly. But I can feel the veil thinning, I can sense the strong strum of a heart that *wants*. Good thing I have a few weeks to figure it all out, I guess.

What are you putting into the fertile soil for the coming year, Readers?

On that note, I need to jump on that day job thing. Have a wonderful Wednesday.

Photo by Michael Dziedzic on Unsplash

Posted on by — Leave a comment

villains & vengeance & velocity

I’ve been battling migraines and all of their attendant baggage off and on for about two weeks. Only two days were really bad, but the up and down is exhausting.

Today the headache is only mild, but the nausea is yucky and my sinuses are cranky.

This is the start of my fourth week in the new day job, which I am enjoying. It’s a bigger company than my last few, but I get to learn new things, which makes me so very happy.

It is also October! I do love spooky season, which you know if you’ve been around here long (or not so long). I was supposed to be on vacation this week, but we postponed it out until we’re in a better place pandemic wise. My next opportunity for shenanigans is in just over two weeks, when I will be attending the Sirens Conference. I’m anxious, but excited.

I can not wait to see my Sirens family.

In case you didn’t know, I edit the anthology we publish to benefit the con, and this year’s anthology is available in both ebook and paperback. I also have a short story in the book. The profit from each book is donated to the Conference to help fund scholarships and/or defray the costs of putting the conference together. You can get your copy of Villains and Vengeance on Amazon.

We’re into that time of year when I can cuddle into fluffy hoodies and sweats, fuzzy socks and fingerless gloves in the morning, and strip down to shorts and a tank top by the evening…it’s also the time of year where time seems to excelerate.

Sure, this whole year has been something of a blur, but from now through January it always seems to enter warp speed.

And that’s pretty much my brain dump for you today, Readers. I hope the Monday treats you with kindness!

Posted on by — Leave a comment

the sun will rise

I am, admittedly, a lazy sort of Pagan. I keep an altar and I light candles and burn incense on the holidays and sometimes at other times, but I don’t go all out like I used to when I was newly arrived in pagandom. My daily meditation practice is pretty lax in the best of times, and lets face it, these are not the best of times.

I am generally more into Samhain and Beltane than I am the solstices, but this year at Samhain everything felt suppressed under the weight of world around me, and Yule has dawned with a feeling of hope.

I know that the fight with this virus isn’t over and in fact we are facing some of the worst days to come. The fact that we now have two vaccines being deployed gives me hope that we might win this fight.

I also know that getting a new president and vice president isn’t going to fix the mess we’re in politically or financially (and do not get me started on this $600 congress thinks is a boon), but the upcoming inauguration also gives me hope that we can close this chapter on the American story and get to work rebuilding our nation and our relations with the world.

The world turns, and we with it. The longest night will pass and the sun will rise. I hope that it burns away the vitriol and hatred that has held the hearts of so many hostage and that with the lengthening of the days, the thawing of the earth, and the warmth of the sun, we begin to grow into better versions of ourselves.

Blessings to you, Readers. May you feel the sun on your face and know you are loved.

Cover Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

Posted on by — Leave a comment

new beginnings

While Samhain ends the Celtic year and the new one begins, it doesn’t always feel like anything particularly new is happening as November dawns, particularly here in a modern world, where life no longer revolves around the growing seasons. This year, however…this year feels different.

I’m not just talking about an election, which to be fair I am quite happy about. The year 2020 began with me wrapping up work on my next book, and starting the arduous process of finding an agent/publisher.

Writing the book is the easy part.

I suck at self promotion and suffer some serious imposter syndrome at times. But I took the chance and started querying agents. And here, I stress started. I created a list of agents/agencies. I wrote my synopsis. I wrote my blurb. I sent a query. One.

And then I chickened out.

Instead of continuing that work, I started working on the next book. Like I said, writing is the easy part. But Friday morning, while I was working and refreshing election results, that agency sent me an email requesting my manuscript and synopsis. On top of the election results, I really felt like this weekend was the dawn of the new year.

Do we have a lot of work to do (on both counts), yes, we do. We have had four years where progress has been torn down and our nation cut open to display it’s rotten innards, and heavens know that getting an agent to read your book is only the beginning of seeing that book come to be.

We’ve taken a step into a new us, but the work is still to come.

Cover Photo by Artem Sapegin on Unsplash

Posted on by — Leave a comment

the sanctity of samhain

This time of year, as the air begins to cool enough for mornings to need socks and the darkness seems to deepen so that the nights are black and still, a sense of peace starts to settle over me. As I shuffle tarot cards for folks who seek guidance and wisdom or light candles on my Beloved Dead altar, it seems fitting to ask them to visit with me.

I’ve never really been one who wants to share Samhain in a large group. It’s always felt like a solitary holy day, and I find the best way to honor it is alone. For me, Samhain is a time of reflection, a day to look at who I have been in the year since last Samhain, to not only celebrate the positive but to address the things I want to change.

Like planting a tulip bulb so spring will bring a beautiful flower, it is a time to plant the bulbs of intention for my future. I have employed a number of methods to do this in the past, but I think this year may involve actual bulbs in actual dirt.

Much of my Samhain rituals are private, intimate. I hold my time on Samhain as sacred. It is a time to commune with my gods and my ancestors. In these next ten days I draw into myself, disengage from the outside world (as much as is possible in this time of chaos) and prepare myself.

I am also holding space for a family member who will be crossing the veil very soon. May her transition be peaceful and her soul find rest.

On that somber note, Readers, I need to get headed to the day job. The commute gets tough right around the corner of hallway and living room, especially if there is a kitty pile up.

Cover Photo by Elena Mozhvilo on Unsplash

Posted on by — Leave a comment

vote

For Pagans, Samhain (Halloween) is often considered our “new year”. It is a time of reflection and remembrance, and a time to look forward to what the new year might bring us. It seems fitting then that what follows Samhain is an election…an election that will decide the course of our country for the next four years.

Like many Americans, I am hopeful for a change to happen, specifically a change toward a kinder nation. In recent years I’ve watched in dismay as anger and fear has swept our country, racism and bigotry exploding out of the dark spaces where it has lain hidden for decades.

I am a person who believes that we are called upon to care for our fellow human beings, and that healthcare, food and housing should be a fundamental right.

I implore you to vote. Vote for a kinder world. Vote for candidates that will bring us forward, not backward.

I love you, Readers! Have a wonderful Wednesday.

Cover Photo by Kari Sullivan on Unsplash

Posted on by — Leave a comment

the autumn of innocence

I was born in September. I don’t know if that has any bearing on my love for autumn, but I like to believe it does. In my Upstate New York childhood, autumn meant new school clothes and supplies (I still love new notebooks and pens and markers and folders and, and, and…), the smell of dry leaves and cider, and the excitement of Halloween. The highlight of October was the annual trip to Kelly’s Farm to pick out our pumpkins and get fresh brewed cider and old fashioned donuts.

While the innocence of that time has gone, and the world is a different place today than it was then, there is a certain wonder to the autumn months still. I sometimes miss the New York autumns, especially here in California where we basically get two seasons, Summer and Not-Summer. Sure we have leaves on the ground and the mornings and nights are cooler, and sometimes even cold, but the true fall colors don’t happen here, unless you travel up into the mountains.

We’re into the time of year here that means long pants and long sleeves in the morning, tank tops and shorts by noon and the air conditioner in the late afternoon. I go to bed with the fan blowing and not even the sheet pulled over me and wake up under blankets chilled.

Last night I refreshed my altar for my ancestors as sort of an invitation. The veil between worlds is thinning as we approach Samhain and I welcome them to visit.

Samhain, and Halloween for that matter, will be different this year, I imagine. For me it is usually a quiet holiday, being the my front door doesn’t face the street, but just the sheer number of newly dead this year…loved ones to be remembered and honored…changes the tenor of the day. This was true for me the Samhain after 9/11, and this is so much more, so many more dead, and many of them left this world bereft of human touch, without the ones they loved by their side.

On that somber note, I wish each of you a lovely week and the kindness and compassion that changes lives. I’m off for more coffee and to log into work. May this autumn be one of a better harvest.

Cover Photo by Dennis Buchner on Unsplash

Posted on by — Leave a comment

the veil is thin

There are two times of the year when the veil that separates this plane from the next grows thin, making communication with the dead easier, among other things.  At Samhain we often invite our dead to sup with us, preparing their favorite foods and drink and setting them out on our tables.  Our rituals tend toward the somber at Samhain.

But at Beltane, opposite Samhain on the Wheel of the Year, our rituals are filled with rejoicing, celebrating the awakening of the earth, the growth all around us, and yes, the fertility that will see us through another long winter.

It is a good time to remind us that life will find a way.  Even as the society we built cracks under the strain of this pandemic and all that accompanies it, the earth puts forth sprouts and leaves and flowers.  In the animal kingdom, babies are born, ensuring that their species will continue.  All around us are the signs that if we just hold on through this “winter” life will begin anew.

And maybe, just maybe, we can learn from Mother Earth’s example, and create something new.

We don’t usually stress communicating with the dead at Beltane, but with so many of us channeling life skills that helped our ancestors survive, maybe it’s time we did.  Reach out to great-grandma to get her secrets to a successful sourdough starter (I can not get mine to do what it’s supposed to).  Call out to your great-great grandpa for advice on planting corn or tomatoes or what have you. Invite them to supper or pour out a cup.

Then go stick your hands in some dirt, grow something. You might be surprised at the joy it can give you.

Happy Beltane, Readers, may it bring you blessings and joy.

Cover Photo by Arno Smit on Unsplash