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the veil is thin

There are two times of the year when the veil that separates this plane from the next grows thin, making communication with the dead easier, among other things.  At Samhain we often invite our dead to sup with us, preparing their favorite foods and drink and setting them out on our tables.  Our rituals tend toward the somber at Samhain.

But at Beltane, opposite Samhain on the Wheel of the Year, our rituals are filled with rejoicing, celebrating the awakening of the earth, the growth all around us, and yes, the fertility that will see us through another long winter.

It is a good time to remind us that life will find a way.  Even as the society we built cracks under the strain of this pandemic and all that accompanies it, the earth puts forth sprouts and leaves and flowers.  In the animal kingdom, babies are born, ensuring that their species will continue.  All around us are the signs that if we just hold on through this “winter” life will begin anew.

And maybe, just maybe, we can learn from Mother Earth’s example, and create something new.

We don’t usually stress communicating with the dead at Beltane, but with so many of us channeling life skills that helped our ancestors survive, maybe it’s time we did.  Reach out to great-grandma to get her secrets to a successful sourdough starter (I can not get mine to do what it’s supposed to).  Call out to your great-great grandpa for advice on planting corn or tomatoes or what have you. Invite them to supper or pour out a cup.

Then go stick your hands in some dirt, grow something. You might be surprised at the joy it can give you.

Happy Beltane, Readers, may it bring you blessings and joy.

Cover Photo by Arno Smit on Unsplash

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stay the hell at home

I was going to start this post with some trite comment about surviving another week in this apocalyptic hell, but realized almost immediately that not everybody has survived.  So many people I know has lost someone in the last few weeks, or has a loved one in the hospital that they can’t visit.  Nearly everyone I know has fears that a vulnerable person they love might contract this virus.

And, while we all need some light hearted humor in times like these, what we don’t need is flippant commentary that makes light of the situation.  We are standing at a precipice with our incompetent government poised behind us with a cattle prod, ready to send us hurtling to our deaths on the rocks below.

I try not to get overly political on this blog, but we can’t afford to not be political in this situation.  It is pretty clear to me that those at the top care nothing for the rest of us, and the idiots that are being goaded into protesting to end the very protections that are keeping us semi-safe, care nothing for people they do not know.  It’s going to take major losses of people who they do know and care about to reach through the cult-like group think that keeps them doing the bidding of a man who has used public office to rake in millions of dollars.

How can anybody look at the death toll numbers that climb and climb every single day and not realize that we are not doing enough to curb this thing?  How can they see stories and posts from our doctors and nurses who are fighting tooth and nail to save people without the proper PPE and with no effective treatment plan, and still demand their right to go to the movies or the beach or wherever the hell else it is they think is so damned important?

I know someone who lost her husband this weekend.  He was thirty six.  She had to drive him to the doors of the ER and leave him there because they wouldn’t let her in.  In less than twenty four hours he was in the ICU on a ventilator, unable to talk.  Her last words to his face were, “Call me when you know anything. I love you.”

He died alone, with a stranger in a mask beside him, holding his phone to his ear as his wife tried to say goodbye through choked tears.  He leaves behind a wife and three kids who are now under quarantine having to rely on the kindness of strangers to keep them fed.  Right now, they aren’t sure where he contracted the virus, as he made every attempt to be safe, but he had taken a job as a delivery driver after getting laid off from his regular job.  He had said he just wanted to help in this time of crisis.

His desire to help got him killed.

Make no mistake, Readers, this virus is a killer, and it doesn’t care how old you are or how healthy you are. It comes out of nowhere and can strike down a person in a week, maybe less.

So, stay the hell at home please!  The life you save could be your own, or your mother’s or your spouse’s, your kids, your neighbor.  Please be safe.  Love one another. Be kind.  These are weird times.

 

Cover Photo by Scott Webb on Unsplash

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quoth the raven, nevermore

Are you as bored as I am, Readers?  You are probably tired of blog posts about the virus and how we’re coping.  I get that.  So, here’s a video I did yesterday with me all dressed up and reading some Edgar Allan Poe to start us off.

In other news, I’m trying to get my juices flowing to start working on The Blood Witch again.  Yesterday I tried printing it out to make notes and what-not the old fashioned way, but I ran out of paper, and since it isn’t strictly necessary, I guess I’m back to doing this on the computer.

I got some great feedback from my beta readers, and hope that their notes will help me take this thing to the next level.  I really love this story and these characters.  I can’t wait until I can share them with all of you.

I’m going to plug my YouTube Channel and my Author’s Page on Facebook here.  All of my live readings will be done on the Facebook page, so give it a like to stay up to date and to get notified when I go live.  The YouTube channel will host the recordings of those readings after the live reading is done.

All of this reading of poetry has also kickstarted my poetic muse, and I’ve been scribbling away.  Maybe I’ll come out the other side of this with a whole new book of poetry for you!

Stay safe, Readers!  And Happy April.  Let’s hope it isn’t as long as March was.

Cover Photo by Kasturi Roy on Unsplash

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the bored and the restless

It’s been a tough week, Readers.  I’ve had some really down days and I am struggling my way out.  I am currently fighting off a serious restlessness.  This is the time of year when I most crave travel.

I want to throw some clothes and road food into the car, pack up my camera and go find some off the road hidden hideaway, picnic beside the ocean or a waterfall, fill up a memory card with pictures of moving water and sand and rocks and green, green grass.

Alas, it isn’t happening any time soon.

Instead, I’m tripping my way through various “virtual tours” of places I long to go, and I’m puttering around in my “garden” on my patio.  I have containers filled with succulents that have been loving the rain and not-too-cold temps, plus one salvia that got a little battered in the winds this past month and a lily of the valley that is finally blooming.  Oh, and a couple of containers with gladiolas that my mother gave me last year.  No blooms on them yet, but I’m hopeful.

I think I’ve probably watched every documentary on history or crime or nature or any mix thereof available on Netflix or Amazon.  I think today I will turn to Disney+ for my entertainment.

How are you coping, Readers?  Is there a great book you’d recommend?  Or maybe some documentary or “based on a true story” movie I might have missed?  Do you want me to do another poetry reading?  Maybe some Edgar Allan Poe?

I have to admit I have a deep and abiding love for the way Mr. Poe put words together.  I often read him aloud just for myself.  There is a story of his that I rediscovered recently that I am consider reading on a Facebook live called “Some Words With a Mummy” and I would love to share it with all of you.

For now though, I will return you to whatever you were doing, and I’ll head out to try to find something I haven’t watched yet…or fall back on rewatching old favorites.

Please be safe, stay home, wash your hands and do something kind for yourself today.  I love you all.

Cover Photo by Océane George on Unsplash

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it’s okay…to not be okay

Earlier this week, I was feeling great about the possibilities of getting a job offer today.  Late yesterday I got an email saying that, like the last three jobs I felt sure I was going to get, the job has gone on hold while the company re-evaluates what they genuinely need.

To some degree, I’m used to it, as a technical writer. But, I have to admit that this time, it’s hitting me pretty hard.  The job boards have the same ten jobs or so that they’ve had for a month.  Everyone is re-evaluating.  Jobs are getting really scarce.

Earlier this week I was feeling pretty optimistic and I was happy to reach out to my extroverted friends, and read poetry on Facebook and help people get through this.  Today I’m feeling fairly hopeless.  Today I’m afraid.

Logically, I know these things come in waves, but I also know that we haven’t seen the worst of this.

I need to pay bills.  I need to pay rent.  But at the same time, I’m afraid to spend anything because I’m so unsure of when there will be more money.  If I spend nothing of my last unemployment check, or of the next two unemployment checks, I will just make my rent in May.

On Tuesday, I have an interview at Target to work overnights stocking shelves because it pays slightly better than unemployment, yet at the same time, I don’t want to take the job from someone who might need it more than I do.

I know we’re all in the same boat.  We’re all doing our best to keep that boat afloat in an ocean of uncertainty and fear.  And I know that I’ll find my optimism again, but for today it’s okay to not be okay.

I’m going to finish up this coffee and wait for the recruiter to call me for a remote tech writer job I heard about late yesterday.  Maybe this is the one?

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this is not the dystopian future I imagined

Hello, Readers!  I hope you are all taking good care of yourself as we isolate ourselves and hope this virus situation doesn’t get any worse.  I’m trying to stay optimistic, but I’ll admit it can be hard.

It’s so weird to see the traffic map completely green!  I’ve been in the SF Bay Area for twenty years, and I’ve never seen it before!  My town, which is normally filled with people out walking is a ghost town.

As someone who has read a LOT of dystopian stories, I’ll admit, when I considered what our future might look like, how our society would fall apart, I did not have my money on virus-caused-economy-crash.

So, how are you occupying your time, Readers?  I hope you have coffee and good books to read.  I’m still job hunting, and in a time like this there are still a lot of job postings, but not so much with the hiring.  It’s going to get worse before it gets better, so remember to wash your hands, stop touching your face, and take care of one another.

This crisis can make us better people, if we let it.  It is already helping out Mother Earth.  Check in on the elderly and vulnerable in your neighborhoods, and remember to keep your distance.

Meanwhile, I have a short story to write and a novel to start editing.  Hopefully some more editing work will be coming my way soon.  Happy Friday, my friends.

Photo by Jeffrey Blum on Unsplash

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sleep, glorious sleep…or lack thereof

For most of my adult life I have had bouts of insomnia.  There are just times when my body isn’t tired or my brain won’t turn off.  They used to be nights of no sleep.  Lately, they have been nights of sleeping super hard and deep for two to three hours, then waking up and off goes my brain into hyper space.

Some nights I lay there plotting, or fixing plot holes, or world building.  Some nights I lay in bed and stare at YouTube until my eyes close again…or more often, until I’ve come to the conclusion that we are done sleeping (we being me and my brain), and I get up, start some coffee and go sit at the computer hoping to get some of whatever I was plotting or building down on paper.

Last night I was awake around 1:30am, for no apparent reason that I could see, and my brain took off plotting the second book in the Blood Witch story.  There’s a whole new world, you see, that needs proper world building attention!  I watched Bob Ross paint for a while and started to doze, but as soon as I turned him off again, I was awake.

Took a while to finally sleep again, but sleep I did.  For at least an hour and a half.  Having no clue what time I went to bed last night, I’m not sure how much sleep I actually ended up getting, but I guess that’s what coffee is for.

And that coffee is tasting mighty good right now.  I’m taking the day off of the job hunt for an outing with my sister-in-law and niece, which I suppose means I have to wear real clothes, and I probably should finish cleaning out the car.  Part of my Disneybound costume from January is still in the back seat.

So, I’m going back to my coffee before it gets cold.  I hope Wednesday is wonderful and filled with blessings for you, Readers.

 

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the games people play

Wow, how did we get to March so fast?!  Seems like we were only just sludging our way through the year of January, and now we’ve made a slide into March.  My plans to take over the world have fallen seriously behind.  Something must be done!

No, seriously, while things are ugly in the world of politics and the scare of a global pandemic is emptying shelves in the stores around the country, and the fact that I still do not have gainful employment, I’m doing pretty good.  At least through April, because I have my rent paid that far ahead.  So, I better find something pretty fast.

Honestly, I’d be surprised if some of the sluggishness in hiring is the uncertainty of the world right now.  I’ve seen the same technical writer jobs with the same companies posted and reposted on all the job boards since early in January.  At least one of them every few weeks since last summer, YIKES.

Add to that the fact that I refuse, at fifty one years old, to spend four hours of my day (on a good day) in the car to get to and from a job, and I’m left here trying to manifest a job that has yet to come into sight.  It is out there though.  I’m sure of it.

In the meantime, I write, I rummage and ransack job boards, I keep lists of places and jobs I have applied to, and I have rediscovered my love for story based video games.  I suck at them (as an example, I spent almost two hours yesterday trying to defeat the first serious “boss” in Jedi: Fallen Order…and gave up for the day without doing it…got her down to about half health a couple of times, but I’m not coordinated enough to dodge and stuff, and she’s wicked fast).

I am considering developing an online course for writers struggling with the concepts of Point of View and maybe a few others like it, but I have no concept of what to charge for something like that.  I’ve been coaching and beta-reading for years, but always in areas I can’t claim on a resume, so I’m thinking maybe I could formalize what I’ve been doing.  I’m also going to revamp my editing offerings, make them simpler.

Plus, it’s time for Pride to ramp up.  Had my first management meeting yesterday.  Got some exciting new ideas flowing there.  I hope it pays off.

For now, the coffee is hot and I need to start my daily haunting of Linked In and Glassdoor and Indeed…I’ve stopped using Monster (because holy hell the crap recruiters try to shovel in my direction from there) and even Career Builder (for much the same reason) which used to be my go-to sites for job hunting.

Happy Wednesday, Readers.  May kindness find you!

 

Photo by Caspar Camille Rubin on Unsplash

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words and witchery

This week I finished the zero draft of The Blood Witch!  It is currently in the hands of my first beta reader. No matter how many times I finish writing a book, it always comes with a thrill of accomplishment.

This book was born two years ago while at Sirens.  The main character, Thána Alizon, came to me fully whole.  I knew who she was, what her backstory was, and where the story would take her.  I wasn’t sure how we were going to get there, but that’s what the writing process is all about, getting from here to there.

Thána took a back seat for a while as I worked on another project, which got shelved last November when I decided to make The Blood Witch my nanowrimo project, just to see if I could get it up on its feet.

NANO was a success, pushing The Blood Witch to within spitting distance of the final climax and resolution.  December, however, when I wanted to be writing, there were a bazillion obligations and stresses that kept me from writing.  The same for January.  I guess the blessing in not working right now was that it afforded me the time to finish.  I wrote the last ten thousand words over the course of about two days.

Of course, writing a book is only the beginning.  The hard work comes after the last word is on the page.  There’s beta readers/critique partners who are the first to see the raw manuscript, a first edit pass, a second edit pass, then comes submission time, and this time around I plan on querying agents to try a more traditional publishing path, which I’ve never done, so I have no idea how long that will take.

Once the agent sells the book to a publisher, there’s another round or two of edits, cover design, etc.  It can take a year to go from purchased manuscript to a book out in the wilds.  The road is long, and the pay isn’t great, if you get paid at all, unless you manage to hit it big.

But, the satisfaction in finishing that zero draft is still there, even if it never sells.

Happy Thursday, Readers.  I’m out of coffee, so I guess that means it’s time to get some stuff done on the job hunting front.

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taking the next step

I’m sitting here in the dark, quiet morning, sipping on coffee and getting words down on the page.  In a little bit I will go dig at the job boards and such for new, exciting places to submit my resume to, but for now it’s just me and my story.

Yesterday was a good writing day with close to five thousand words by the time I was done, and that was largely the climax of the book.  I love when words come so easily.  I’m not far from done with my zero draft now.

My love for these characters is large.  My MC is more like me than any other character I have ever written, or maybe she’s more like the me I wanted to be.  Either way, she is maybe my favorite character since Amara in Forever.

Once I’m done, I’ll compile the project (I’m working in Scrivener as an experiment) and export it to a word or pdf document and have a couple beta readers give it a good read to identify anything too out there, too unbelievable and plot holes.

Then it will be time for my first edit pass.  After that, I’ll pay a professional editor to give it a good working over.  And another edit pass.  At that point, I’ll be ready to start querying agents, which I’ve never done and is rather terrifying. But it’s time to take the next step in my writing career.

Happy Monday, Readers!  I need more coffee.

Photo by Jessica Lewis on Unsplash