Tag: coffee

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of noise and static

I’m that person who has trouble focusing on a single task at a time. I grew up with the need to be in constant motion, to always be doing something and “sitting” didn’t count as “something”. Even in high school, I had to have music or the television playing in order to focus my brain on my homework.

Today, I use a lot of documentaries to occupy that space in my mind while I work. When I write, there’s usually music playing, unless I’m writing poetry. That’s about the only thing I think I need silence for. Sometimes the music I play while writing is driven by what I’m writing.

For example, while working on the first book in the Blood Witch trilogy, I listened to a bunch of baroque music, driven by the fact that one of my characters was into that sort of sound. When working on Forever, there was a playlist that wound itself through time, like Amara did, starting with some tribal beats and working up through history.

Book 2 in the Blood Witch series didn’t have a decided playlist, it kind of moved around songs in my library and I’d just skip songs that didn’t fit what I was writing. As I’m working on Book 3, I’m having trouble finding the musical flow. The story is set in a culture roughly equating to 1880 London, but the music of the time is not resonating with the story telling.

Somewhat more effective is a random playlist of “sound” rather than set music. Think atmospheric, not quite meditative kind of sound. Lots of long single notes and gentle waves of sound. It also helps when I have a headache, like this morning.

My coffee is getting cold, and I have words to wrestle into place, so happy Sunday, Readers. May it be filled with kindness.

Cover Photo by Patrick Tomasso on Unsplash

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what a week

Like most Americans, my attention has been firmly on our nation’s capitol this week, as law enforcement investigates the uprising at the capitol and congress worked to hold the president responsible for inciting that violence.

I’ll admit that it has not been great for my creativity or productivity!

That said, I did finish the zero draft of the second Blood Witch book over the weekend. Up next will be an editing pass to flesh out a few scenes and retrofit some story points that developed near the end.

For as long as I have been writing, my characters can still surprise me. Going into this book, I knew the plot points I wanted to hit, at least in the beginning and middle. The ending changed multiple times while I was writing, and a relationship developed between two characters along the way, which I now have to go back through and lay the breadcrumbs in.

There’s a certain satisfaction that comes with reaching the end of the book, even though I know there is still work to do. It was a victory I needed this week.

Now though, I need to finish my coffee and get on with the day job. I hope you are all safe and well, Readers and that you manage to find joy in these chaotic and dangerous times.

Cover Photo by Waldemar Brandt on Unsplash

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questions and curfews

You know how some days your coffee tastes extra good? Today is like that. Mmmm, coffee.

In other news, California is going into a partial lockdown this weekend in an effort to curb the spread of Covid-19, which is to say that the governor issued a curfew curtailing public outings and/or gatherings between the hours of 10 pm and 5 am.

I have questions.

How much gathering and outings are happening during those hours?
Is the virus only contagious during those hours?
With the list of exceptions, what is it we’re actually not allowed to do?
Who is picking up prescriptions after 10 pm?
Who is picking up dinner at a restaurant after 10 pm?

As an agoraphobic introvert, I don’t understand why just staying home is such a problem for so many. I mean, I realize I’m in a minority here and that other people need human contact a whole lot more than I do, but with the idea that going out into the world might mean death for you, or a loved one, how is that choice hard?

In yet other news, being up super early means I get some extra writing time today. Coupled with the extra good tasting coffee, this news makes me happy. It’s the little things, you know?

Happy Friday, Readers. Stay safe. Wear your mask if you have to go out. Stay home if you can. Wash your hands. Be kind, especially now. Kindness matters.

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stitching it together

I spent my weekend split between writing and watching whatever random thing caught my attention on Netflix/Prime/Disney/Hulu while crocheting. I’ve had trouble finding a pattern I liked for a sweater I want to make, so I’m embarking on the path of creating one. Not sure how that’s gonna work, but I’m giving it a go.

In what I was watching…Saturday was an afternoon of movies on Netflix. I enjoyed “What Happened to Monday” which is a near future sci-fi sort of thing involving a world where the law dictates one child per family and a set of identical septuplets. I also watched a biopic on Helen Reddy. Like I said, it was all very random.

Yesterday though I indulged in a marathon of “Whitechapel” which was a British cop show a few years back.

I needed the break from the onslaught of news.

My usual outlet for finding my center on the dark days used to be helping others, usually with buying breakfast for some homeless folks or giving away stuff I’ve made, but since I’m not leaving the house, that path is not open to me. I think maybe that’s part of what has made this time so dark for me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still giving, it’s just at a distance these days which kind of minimizes the internal reaction I get from a stranger’s smile or from talking with someone who most people ignore.

Creating is what is getting me through though, whether I’m crafting with words or with yarn or with paints and oil pastels. It also helps to have work during the week. It gives me focus.

Right now I need to focus on getting coffee and breakfast into me before my first conference call of the day. Happy Monday, Readers! Lets make it the best we can in these circumstances. Stay home if you can. Wear your mask. Wash your hands. Keep your distance. Be kind.

Cover Photo by Olliss on Unsplash

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hit the ground running

Some days it can be hard to find the motivation to get started. Some days I hit the ground running. Today is the latter. I woke up an hour before the alarm due to a nightmare and was awake enough that going back to sleep didn’t make sense, so I got up and started the coffee.

My first order of business after the bathroom and getting the coffee started, is always to hit the email accounts. I have several accounts because I like to compartmentalize my life to a degree. I generally ignore the stuff in my “junk” mail address, the one that I use when I have to sign up for something online, shopping stuff, etc, and just mark that as read. The others I skim through the inbox, look at the ones that look important, answer what I can and then I move on.

Generally, while I have my morning coffee, I peruse Facebook and other social media, play a couple rounds of some silly game, or write. During the week, it is usually the first two. On the weekends it’s writing.

By the time my coffee was ready, I had already emailed several people back, answered some work emails and reviewed a few work tickets. I was out to the work computer by 7am, taking my breakfast and second-coffee with me.

It’s a good start to a Friday. I hope all of you are having a good week (as much as any of us can anyway), and that your weekend is filled with love and kindness, Readers.

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the autumn of innocence

I was born in September. I don’t know if that has any bearing on my love for autumn, but I like to believe it does. In my Upstate New York childhood, autumn meant new school clothes and supplies (I still love new notebooks and pens and markers and folders and, and, and…), the smell of dry leaves and cider, and the excitement of Halloween. The highlight of October was the annual trip to Kelly’s Farm to pick out our pumpkins and get fresh brewed cider and old fashioned donuts.

While the innocence of that time has gone, and the world is a different place today than it was then, there is a certain wonder to the autumn months still. I sometimes miss the New York autumns, especially here in California where we basically get two seasons, Summer and Not-Summer. Sure we have leaves on the ground and the mornings and nights are cooler, and sometimes even cold, but the true fall colors don’t happen here, unless you travel up into the mountains.

We’re into the time of year here that means long pants and long sleeves in the morning, tank tops and shorts by noon and the air conditioner in the late afternoon. I go to bed with the fan blowing and not even the sheet pulled over me and wake up under blankets chilled.

Last night I refreshed my altar for my ancestors as sort of an invitation. The veil between worlds is thinning as we approach Samhain and I welcome them to visit.

Samhain, and Halloween for that matter, will be different this year, I imagine. For me it is usually a quiet holiday, being the my front door doesn’t face the street, but just the sheer number of newly dead this year…loved ones to be remembered and honored…changes the tenor of the day. This was true for me the Samhain after 9/11, and this is so much more, so many more dead, and many of them left this world bereft of human touch, without the ones they loved by their side.

On that somber note, I wish each of you a lovely week and the kindness and compassion that changes lives. I’m off for more coffee and to log into work. May this autumn be one of a better harvest.

Cover Photo by Dennis Buchner on Unsplash

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I am one with the coffee, and the coffee is with me…

There is a certain ritual to the mornings, even now in the middle of this pandemic that has altered the way we live our lives. For me, that ritual includes an alarm at 6am, though I’m often awake well before that, a quick check of email on my phone (so I can be prepared for any emerging issues…half my team is on the other side of the world), then the requisite bathroom trip before I find my way to the kitchen.

There we have several mini-rituals that include giving my kitties treats, and the prep for coffee…fill the kettle, put it on the stove, rinse out the french press, fill it with hot water…then I move to the personal computer to finish going through the email, both personal and professional, check facebook, maybe post, take the morning meds, and by then it’s time to go back to the kitchen to finish the coffee.

All of this is something I do daily, not just during the week (well, except the alarm part, that’s only weekdays). The coffee part of the day is one of my favorite things. The ritual of measuring out the beans, grinding them, dumping the prep water, putting the grounds in the press, adding water…it provides me a chance to center. I like to make it a mindful practice and not let my thoughts wander into to much of what the day has in store.

I am one with the coffee, and the coffee is with me.

But, once the coffee is made, it’s anyone’s guess where the day will go. Somedays I get some writing time. Some days I play mindless games to wake myself up. Somedays I dive right into work.

Today I have a line up of work projects to jump into, so I best get on that (as I pour myself a cup of Valhalla Java from Death Wish Coffee). I hope your Tuesday is amazing, Readers!

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melancholy moments

I haven’t been writing much, obviously including here on my blog. I’ll be real honest and say that living has been hard recently. I have found myself feeling heavy and unmotivated.

I know everyone is feeling it. Six months of living in crisis mode is wearing us all down.

Then came the news that Ruth Bader Ginsburg had passed from this life and I am not ashamed to say that I was dragged into a deep dark hole. Everything felt hopeless and dark and like the country I love had taken that last step out of the light, out of the promise of who we are meant to be and we are now tumbling headlong into the abyss, driven by avarice and greed.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg

Honestly, as an author, had I presented a story like 2020 to an editor, I would have been told that it was not believable. Pick a single plot and stick with it, would you?

I spent Saturday in grief-cleaning mode. When everything is out of your control, control what you can, right? When I spiral down into the land where anxiety borders on depression, I tend to just let stuff go…I don’t clean, I don’t eat properly, I forget to take my meds. You know, stuff like that. Climbing back out looks like cleaning, preparing actual meals and setting reminders on my phone to take my meds.

So, here we are back at Monday. I’ve been awake since 2:30 am, I’m drinking coffee and trying to find the light. There are still things I can’t control, but I’m going to start controlling what I can. And one of those things is voting my conscience, voting for stepping back from the abyss of the last four years. I can’t help those who hate, those who are determined to believe that the last four years have been good (what value of good are they using anyway?).

All I can do is love hard enough and bright enough that the hate retreats in shame. I love you, Readers! I’m not a really huggy person, but I’d hug you all right now if I could. Remember, it’s okay to step back, to disengage when it’s all too much for you. It’s okay to cry, to rage, to just withdraw. Just remember to get back up again and step back into the fight.

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it’s all on fire

The state of California is on fire, and not just in the “usual” places. The thunderstorms last week were mostly dry, just thunder and lightning, and the lightning strikes hit the ground all around the Bay area, starting fires that are just burning through real estate.

Beyond the danger of the fires themselves, there’s the added danger of all the smoke in the air. It makes breathing difficult. It makes allergies worse. It makes the air stink.

I had to go out into it yesterday for a doctor’s appointment. I woke up this morning with my sinuses all congested and my head pounding. Going to make today fun.

But, it’s Friday and the last day of the day job for the week. I have a small edit job to do this weekend, and hopefully I’ll get some writing time, just need to keep the house closed up to keep the smoke out.

At least it’s a bit cooler than it was earlier in the week. We hit 106 degrees at one point this week. Today it’s only supposed to go up to 93. My air conditioner and fans are getting a work out!

My coffee cup is empty now and I need to log onto a video conference in a few minutes, so I should get going. Y’all be safe out there! And Happy Friday!

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in the hot seat

Here in the San Francisco Bay Area we are expecting a heatwave this weekend. It’s the first of the summer, but it’s expected to be intense. Here in the town where I live, we’re expecting degrees of 108, but it’s been exceeding the expected high temperatures every day this week.

What is making it worse is the humidity. It’s got my arthritic writer’s hands all cranky.

I am sitting under the air conditioning with a fan blowing on me trying to keep cool. It was already over 81 in the living room at 8am. Even my heat-loving kitty is laying under the AC.

It makes it hard to focus on work, but I have lots to do. I seem to have reached the end of my coffee, and the document I’ve been waiting on has rendered, so I guess it’s time to get back to it.

Happy Friday, Readers! Stay safe, stay cool.

Cover Photo by Luis Graterol on Unsplash